Bug's Bleat - - GCF: New School Term

The Internet Version of The Ed Sullivan Show
We never let the truth stand in the way of a Good Story"
Volume 8, Issue 06 Friday, February 10, 2006
Hello All,


We got behind on “Da Bleat” when our weekends filled up. I normally produce the Bleat Friday evening and Saturday. But our Fridays and Saturdays have been overfilled and we’ve been behind.
Last Friday, David, Bobbie and the Boys took us out for my Birthday, the next morning we cooked pancakes for Dream Center and that afternoon we went to Shreveport to see Ethan, so there was no time.
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Ethan is growing and improving every day.
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include our Dream center crew cooking for the kids and Jimmy with Ethan.
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A major film, called End Of The Spear, January 20. I believe God will use it in a big way. It depicts the effects of the grace of God in very powerful and spectacular ways.

The story begins in 1956, when five Christian missionaries (Jim Elliot
was among them) gave their lives in an Ecuadorian jungle, attempting to bring the gospel to the Waodani stone-age people. At that time they
were the most violent tribe on Earth -- and yet they became the most loving and peaceful!

The missionaries made friendly contact, but something went terribly wrong. The Waodani speared them to death. A tragedy? Yes, but God turns everything to good, for the blessing of many and for His glory, and this was no exception.

God used this tragedy to motivate more people to become missionaries than any other event in modern history -- perhaps ever. He also used two women to complete the work of the five martyred missionaries, bringing the Waodani to himself. So the deaths of those five men did more to advance the kingdom of God than their lives ever could.

God's ways are so great!

But the story doesn't end there. It seems God is about to use the tragedy that happened 50 years ago to help hundreds of thousands -- maybe millions -- to come to know Christ in our day, using The End Of The Spear. It is a major motion picture (production cost $12 million) that tells the story of God's grace from the perspective of the Waodoni.

End Of The Spear is being shown in theaters across the United States.

This is where you and I come in. We can make the film do well. Our prayers can make it prosper.

Making it even easier, great resources are provided. A Google search for "End Of The Spear" will yield several excellent web sites, including .

Then there is a special web site for Christians at . It offers lots of helps to help us promote the film and make it a huge success. You'll really get the flavor of the film by watching the trailer.

What a great opportunity to advance the kingdom of God in such an easy, non-offensive and effective way! Please forward this e-mail today.

By the way, the producers of End Of The Spear is Bearing Fruit Communications . They have more plans in the works to advance the gospel through similar means. Find them on their web site.

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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Our friend Norma Kay took her last chemo Monday and sent us this message!!!!!
“Talk about being excited!!! It was a Kodak moment! ha! I do want to thank all of you for your prayers, not only for me, but for my family. It was equally as hard on them. I know there is nothing that God can't see us thru. I am a witness to that. I should begin my radiation in mid March. I will be getting 33 of them, 5 days a week for 6 ½ weeks. Again, your prayers have meant so much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Norma Kay”
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.29
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - Hearty Chicken Stew Recipe courtesy Dave Lieberman

Show: Good Deal with Dave Lieberman - Episode: Comfort Food

Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 2 hours
Yield: 6 to 8 servings

This is the most delicious and vibrant take on chicken soup, the get well classic, that I could come up with. Lots of hearty pieces of chicken meat, a sweet broth with lots of bright veggies. I add a touch of heat with hot sauce at the end to get a little sweat going to get all those evil sick bugs out. Make it ahead of time and just heat it up at my friend's house.


4 small onions, quartered
6 cloves garlic, peeled
1 pound carrots, peeled and cut into -2inch chunks
2 pounds chicken thighs, skin removed
Handful thyme sprigs
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 ½ pounds red bliss potatoes, washed and quartered
2 handfuls green beans, trimmed
Hot pepper sauce, to taste

In a large pot, combine onions, garlic, carrots, chicken and thyme. Season with salt and pepper. Add cold water to cover. Bring to boil then reduce heat to a simmer. Skim and discard any scum that may come to the top.
Simmer until the meat of the chicken falls off the bone with almost no pressure from a fork, about 1 to 1 ½ hours. Remove the chicken pieces to a plate. Use 2 forks to separate the meat from the bone. Add the meat back to pot.

Add the potatoes, cook until fork tender, about 20 minutes. Add green beans, cook until crisp-tender, about 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from heat, add hot sauce, salt and pepper to taste.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_30796,00.html
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BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Second Sight
Little Faith
Why Are the Mountains Standing Still?
By T. M. Moore

February 10, 2006

Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” He said to them, “Because of your little faith.” (Matthew 17:19, 20)

For me, this account of Jesus and His disciples and the demon-possessed child captures as well as anything in Scripture the state of Christian faith in America today. Here are the disciples—highly visible, well meaning, and feverishly busy in the work of the Lord—yet totally unable to affect the status quo, and not certain why.

Sound familiar?

We have been hearing a good deal in recent years about the resurgence of fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity in America and its impact in the social and political arenas. While there are some encouraging signs, it seems way too early to confirm the onset of a new reformation. One need only scan the popular culture—television, pop music, and film, in particular—to recognize that the vast majority of Americans are still in the grip of spiritual forces that want to burn them alive with lust or drown them in a sea of relativism and self-seeking. Churches are growing, ministries are glowing, and leaders are crowing about the new evangelical influence; yet for all our visibility, earnestness, and frantic activity, the child we’re struggling to redeem and restore just keeps getting sicker.

Jesus’ answer to the disciples’ query concerning their manifest inability to heal this child must have caused them no small amount of chagrin. What did He mean, “little faith”? What more could they have done to show good faith in the Lord?

What did Jesus mean by this retort? What is “little faith”?

LITTLE FAITH SEEKS LITTLE ENDS
There is obviously more to this story than meets the eye; something about the way the disciples were attempting to accomplish this task was not acceptable to God. The Lord described their efforts as “little faith.” We can gain some insight into the nature of their little faith by examining the Lord’s response to the disciples’ question.

Little faith, it seems, is faith that focuses only on the immediate situation and needs, without reference to the larger realm of the sovereign power and cosmic authority of God or the spiritual struggle with forces of wickedness in high places. Little faith, in other words, seeks little ends—cast out a demon, give comfort to a suffering father and his son, impress the crowds, and so forth. Little faith considers the act or need in itself, apart from the larger picture of reality and of the Kingdom purposes of God. The disciples seem to have been concerned only for casting out the demon that was holding this child in subjection. By introducing the image of a mountain moved “from here to there,” Jesus implied that their faith was little because they had failed to keep sight of the larger context, the overall spiritual struggle in which powerful forces, far stronger than the greatest exertions of mere men, are engaging not just over the possession of an isolated child, but over the sovereignty of all creation.

Their little faith saw only the task at hand. Jesus seems to have been urging His disciples to see through the challenge before them to the larger issue of the cosmic struggle for sovereignty, in which the absolute holiness and ultimate authority of God are the real issues. Nothing we do in this life is an isolated event. Everything is linked to the larger battle for supremacy in the universe. In all we do we’re not just making a living, raising a family, solving problems, getting and spending; we are engaged in a life-and-death struggle for the integrity and majesty of the Name of God. Lose sight of the larger context in which we live, and everything reduces to little tasks with little ends and lost ground for the Kingdom of God.

Paul had the sense of this when, in Ephesians 5:15-17, he urged us not to waste our opportunities—any opportunities, no matter how great or small—because “the days are evil.” Whenever we fail to make the most of our time or opportunities for the advancement of Christ’s Kingdom, we yield ground to the enemy of our souls. No task, however great or small, should be considered in itself, apart from the larger issue of the ultimate cosmic struggle. The disciples had fixated on a single task, and were frustrated because they could not pull it off. Jesus rebuked their small focus and little faith and urged them to pursue larger objectives in all they did.

LITTLE FAITH TRUSTS IN LITTLE RESOURCES
“Why could we not cast it out?” the disciples asked. The implicit answer is that men can’t cast out anything, indeed, cannot do anything in the work of the Kingdom apart from the work of God in their midst (cf. John 15:5). The disciples believed that they ought to have been able to handle this little demon-possessed child by themselves. They would cast this thing out, and then all would be well. They had watched Jesus do it. They knew the words to say, the technique to employ. Perhaps they were even anticipating the wonder and admiration of the crowd once the deed was done.

But they acted in little faith, apparently trusting in their own know-how, experience, or best intentions. Little faith trusts in little people and their little methods rather than in the sovereign God. Again, the image of the mountain being moved from here to there would surely have left the disciples thinking, “Go on! No one can move a mountain!” And they would have been right, only proving again the thrust of Jesus’ rebuke: not only were they focusing on little ends, they were trusting in little resources.

So much of church life today is conducted through familiar routines, standard programs, proven procedures, and accepted protocols. We make our plans, set our schedules, secure our resources, run our programs—and wonder why nothing of consequence ever seems to happen. We have become experts at employing our proven techniques to do the work of the Lord; but we’re not moving any mountains, at least that I can see. What do we expect? With only little visions, and depending only on our little resources—rather than the infinite resources of the sovereign God—we are getting pretty much what we’ve bargained for: nothing.

The growing marginalization of churches today is the result of our little faith, faith that rests in familiar procedures, “proven” ways of doing things, reliable people, and ample material resources to do the work of the Kingdom. We aren’t changing the world in which we live because we can’t change anything! Only the Lord can change the hearts of people; only He can cast out the demons of self-interest, autonomy, and unbelief and implant a new heart and a new Spirit. We are living by little faith, therefore, if our efforts in ministry and in building the Church and advancing the Kingdom rely primarily on tried-and-true methods and means for playing at church while the world continues on its pell-mell course to hell.

LITTLE FAITH SEEKS TO PRESERVE LITLE EGOS
Isn’t it interesting to note that the only thing the disciples wanted to know about this situation was why they could not do what Jesus did? And that they came to Him privately to ask their petty question? After all, they had already made buffoons out of themselves—we can imagine them ranting and gesturing like the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel, trying to coax the demon out so that they wouldn’t lose face before the people. They came to Jesus privately because, whatever His explanation was, they did not want to look worse before the people than they already did.

Little faith is like that—it works to protect frail egos, guard sacred cows, defend precious turf, and see people in need only as ways of bolstering esteem in the eyes of others. In their little faith the disciples appear to have been as interested in their own status in the eyes of the people as in the healing of the demon-possessed child. “Why could not we . . . ?” I’m reminded of those same disciples, later on in Jesus’ ministry, arguing with one another about who would be greatest in the Kingdom of God, or who would be allowed to sit at the Lord’s right hand in glory. What egoism! What puny faith!

What a perfect reflection of so much that we see in our own lives and in the ministries of our churches.

OVERCOMING LITTLE FAITH
So what should the disciples have done? How might they have exercised big faith rather than the little faith that earned them the stinging rebuke of their Lord? It would appear that they should have pursued their task fully conscious of the larger spiritual struggle that grips the lives of men. They should have realized that what was at stake here was not just a demon-possessed child or their own silly egos but the holiness, majesty, might, and glory of the sovereign God of heaven and earth, and the advance of His irresistible Kingdom against even the most clever counsels and determined efforts of hell. And, most importantly, they should have waited on the Lord.

The time would come when the disciples, fully trained and empowered by the indwelling Spirit of Christ, would do such works in big faith, looking to Christ and striving to advance His rule rather than their own stature in the eyes of their contemporaries. What they needed to learn at this point in their training was that the way to big faith lies through earnest prayer, not feverish effort. In the parallel version of this story (Mark 9:14-29), Jesus answered the disciples’ private query with the words, “This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer.”

What does this suggest, except that prayer was the last thing on the disciples’ mind as they hovered over this stricken child, contending with one another for supremacy with all the energy their little faith could muster. The disciples should have prayed to the Lord fervently instead of parading their pretended prowess as exorcists. They would have exercised big faith had they managed to set their egos aside and send for Jesus, certain that He would do what was right and best.

And what about us? Will we ever tire of the little faith games we play in our churches—running programs, spending money, counting noses, and congratulating ourselves on the excellent job we’re doing, while, as we all know, the demon-possessed child of our postmodern society continues writhing toward the fire and the water? When will we learn to practice the kind of faith that Jesus commends—faith that takes seriously the call to pray without ceasing and about everything—rather than this puny faith that, at best, allows us only to perpetuate the status quo indefinitely into the future?

Why, in spite of all our efforts, expenditures, and good intentions, aren’t we making any more progress against the gates of hell than is currently in evidence? It is because of our prayerless, self-dependent, little faith. May the Lord help us to believe bigger things of Him.

FOR REFLECTION
What would “big faith” look like in your life? In your church? Do you see evidence that “little faith” is keeping you from a fuller experience of Christ, and greater power in serving Him? How might you begin to practice a bigger faith today?

T. M. Moore is a fellow of the Wilberforce Forum. He serves as pastor of teaching ministries and director of the Center for Christian Studies at Cedar Springs Presbyterian Church in Knoxville, Tenn. Readers can visit his daily blog at www.cedarspringsccs.com. T. M. is the editor of the series, Jonathan Edwards for Today’s Reader (P & R), the latest volume of which is Pursuing Holiness in the Lord. His latest books are Consider the Lilies: A Plea for Creational Theology (P & R) and God’s Prayer Program: Passionately Using the Psalms in Prayer (Christian Focus). He and his wife and editor, Susie, make their home in Concord, Tenn. He can be reached at nacurragh@aol.com. All Scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version (Crossway).

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
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Words of the Week:
disparate: fundamentally different; also, composed of dissimilar elements.
sapient: wise; sage; discerning.
visage: the face; also, appearance; aspect.
excoriate: to express strong disapproval of; also, to flay.
tendentious: marked by a strong tendency in favor of a particular point of view.
milieu: environment; setting.
deus ex machina: an agent who appears unexpectedly to solve an apparently insoluble difficulty.
autodidact: one who is self-taught.
from Dictionary.Com
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"Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem." - John Galsworthy

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost

"The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men." - Robert Ingersoll

"All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason." - Immanuel Kant

"To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture." - Thomas Paine

"We are endeavoring, too, to reduce the government to the practice of a rigorous economy, to avoid burdening the people, and arming the magistrate with a patronage of money, which might be used to corrupt and undermine the principles of our government." - Thomas Jefferson

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." - Olin Miller
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BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Revival Breaks Out at Asbury College - Students, Faculty and Passersby Join in Praise and Worship around the Altar
by News Staff, Joe Brockinton / Jean Blodgett, Aimee Herd reporting : Feb 9, 2006 :Asbury College News
"God is answering the passionate and persistent prayers of committed students who have been fasting and praying for weeks for this kind of spiritual breakthrough. We are all rejoicing in it."
Articles on the Asbury College (Wilmore, KY.) website are covering the powerful move of God that broke out on Monday, Feb. 6th, during Chapel, in the Hughes Auditorium. It's something generations of Asbury students have been praying for. More recently, the move is something over which the current student body has engaged in more than 40 hours of prayer weekly, while meeting in their Asbury House of Prayer.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2117

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When Bruised Reeds Break
Danny Steyne (Feb 7, 2006)
When you check out this great book by Danny Steyne . . . don't forget to listen to the moving interview, where Danny tells the gripping story of his two daughters' return after being kidnapped!
http://thewellbookstore.com/item.asp?PID=1313

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A Picture of Restoration - after Six Years , a Father's Two Kidnapped Daughters are Returned
by Aimee Herd (Feb 7, 2006)
A BCN exclusive interview with Danny Steyne.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2091

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Wife of Seahawk's Coach on Mission Trip During Superbowl
Don Banks/Teresa Neumann (Feb 6, 2006)

"It was the best present I could give her," says Holmgren.< /B>

Few people know that while Seattle Seahawk coach Mike Holmgren was coaching his Superbowl team in Detroit, Sunday, his wife Kathy and daughter Calla were on a 17-day Northwest Medical mission trip in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
According to the report in Sports Illustrated, Super Bowl Sunday isn't the end-all and be-all of Coach Holmgren's family. Indeed, it stated that Kathy, a trained nurse, and Calla, an obstetrician, wouldn't have missed the trip for the world. Compared to the great needs in Africa, the Superbowl wasn't worth staying home for. Not only that, but Seattle fans may be interested to know that Holmgren paid for their mission trip, saying it was an "early birthday gift" for his wife.
"I think it's a lot more important, frankly, than what I'm doing this week,'' Mike Holmgren said of Kathy and Calla's trip, which was planned four months ago. "I'm very proud of [Kathy] and she works very hard at a lot of things that are a lot more important than coaching a football game. She has her life.''
"We didn't know when she signed up for this thing four months ago that we would be in the Super Bowl,'' Holmgren added. "We didn't even think about the dates being a problem. But it was the best present I could ever give her.''
At the Congo hospital, which treats 2,500 patients per month, Kathy and Calla were teaching African nurses and midwives new surgical techniques and how to use ultrasound equipment.

As far as staying in touch with Mike during the Superbowl, the article noted that Kathy and Calla had access to a satellite phone, courtesy of the Chicago-based Evangelical Covenant Church, whose Covenant World Mission program is sponsoring their trip. In Seattle, Kathy reportedly works in a shelter for battered women and volunteers her time in many efforts related to her surviving breast cancer a few years ago. Her religious faith is an active faith, the report noted.
"I get great joy from this,'' Mike Holmgren told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette last week. "This is a dream come true for her, to go back to the same place where she was [17 years ago]. And here we are in the Super Bowl. She's leaving Thursday for Africa; I'm leaving for Detroit Sunday.''
Says reporter Don Banks, "It's the first Super Bowl story I've heard in a while where winning isn't the only thing that matters. How refreshing. No matter what happens...somebody named Holmgren is going to be a success. In this family, football finishes in second place, and rightfully so."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2086

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Women's Group Praises White House for Advancing "Culture of Life" in America
Bill Fancher, Jody Brown/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 4, 2006)
Newly appointed Concerned Women for America (CWA) president, Wendy Wright, says the group has been keeping close tabs on President George W. Bush since he took office on January 20, 2001 to see if building a "culture of life" in America is just political rhetoric.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2079

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Malta to Issue EU Coin Depicting Baptism of Jesus
News Staff / Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 3, 2006)
The deeply religious Mediterranean island of Malta, which joined the EU in 2004,will issue a Maltese euro coin featuring Jesus being baptized by John the Baptist. The adoption of the currency is scheduled for January, 2008.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2075
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GCF: New School Term

Emailed to me another humor list (Good Clean Funnies List) -Tom To subscribe The Good Clean Funnies List, (not to be confused with this list, which is Good Clean Fun) send an email to: gcfl-request@gcfl.net with subject = add

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway."

An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working. His attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.

He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.

He replied, "The sign advertising the concert said, 'begins@7:30PM'."
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GCF: NMF...

Emailed to me from another humor list (Cascade Express E-zine) -Tom To subscribe to Cascade Express E-zine, send a blank email to: Cascade_Express-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up.

"Our underwriting department determines that", I replied. Then I asked for her license number. Verifying her information, I said, "NMF? Is that 'N' as in Nancy, 'M' as in Mary, and 'F' as in Frank?"

"Well... yes," she said. "But could you please tell your underwriters that it's also 'N' as in Not, 'M' as in My, and 'F' as in fault?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Lunch and Learn

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during the employees' lunchtime. These seminars deal with a variety of physical and mental health issues. If the seminar lasts beyond the normal lunch hours, we're supposed to get managerial approval to attend. So, last week, this flier came around:

LUNCH AND LEARN SEMINAR:
WHO'S CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE?
(Get your manager's permission before attending)
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GCF: Batman

Emailed to me from another humor list (Cascade Express E-zine) -Tom To subscribe to Cascade Express E-zine, send a blank email to: Cascade_Express-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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I went to dinner with my husband, a male friend of ours, Jim, and his new girlfriend, Dorothy.

While eating dinner we got on the subject of vacations. Dorothy said that she wanted to go to Gotham City for her next vacation.

I tried to explain to her that it wasn't a real place. She laughed and said "It is, too. It's where Batman lives".

I laughed and looked over at Jim who smiled and told me she was serious. I then tried to explain. "Batman does not exist. Why do you think there have been three of them: Clooney, Kilmer and Keaton?"

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's because he doesn't want anyone to know who he really is."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Locksmith Revenge

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town. Once he saw a group of beach-goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property. As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.
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(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \__/ )_______________________( \__/ )_______________________( \__/ )_______________________( \__/ )_______________________( \__/ )_______________________( \_<> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
[GCFL.net] Faith and Suffering

/* Reminder: Guys, Tuesday is Valentine's Day! Don't forget!
:) */

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed."

The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?"

"Yes I do," she replied.

"Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," He said. "Then tell them, 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'"

Received from The Cybersalt Digest.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Second Try

Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.

By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again. My wife agreed.

I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!"

"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Chicken Surprise

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Sputtering in a fit of pique, he calls the waiter over, describes what is happening, and demands an explanation!

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."

Received from Louise Cradduck.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Restaurant Service

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television.

The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly, shouts of victory came from the bar.

"Hey," commented my 11-year-old, "it sounds as if someone just got his food."

Received from Pastor Tim.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Printer Repair

When the office printer's type began to grow faint (this was one of the old dot-matrix printers), the office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual and doing the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."

Received from Dave Watson.

(-:][:-)

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HOW DOGS CAME TO BE:

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, " I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn't care one way or the other.

Thanks to Aunt Jeanette ford
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A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads:

The End is Near!
Turn Yourself Around Now
Before it's Too Late!

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you Religious nuts!" From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The priest turns to the pastor and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'?"

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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The Left vs. The Right

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week" The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The Republican is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you card and a dozen different books such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful."

Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week." The Democrat is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between left and right!

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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North vs. South

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses .

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't!
try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Thanks to Aunt Jeanette ford
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Just laugh ... and pass it on.

"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"

Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, wish you weren't married, or glad you never married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern

Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."

Thanks to John Burge
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Who Knows Why, Why, Why

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen tim! es with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it u! p, exami ne it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you

Thanks to Trina Montgomery
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If you can read this

Olny srmat poelpe can. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

"Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."

Thanks to Laurel Becnel
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*How To Please Your I.T. Department*

[A quick check list for those who need to make contact.]

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.

10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.

14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

(-:][:-)

*Homework Help*

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

(-:][:-)

*Wedding Dress Blues*

When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her.

"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."

"Oh, forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"

(-:][:-)

*Remembering Names*

When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story.

After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased, "Be careful going up that hill! But you must get that all the time."

They smiled politely but said nothing. After they left, my husband asked, "What was that all about?"

"Jack and Jill. Up the hill. Remember?" I said.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with," he pointed to the couple, "Dick and Jane?"

(-:][:-)

*Drug Shirt*

My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.

My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.

On one side it said, "Families are Forever."

And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."

(-:][:-)

Eye Laugh

"Blitzed"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=20

"Cat Drink"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=228

"Half Car"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=231

"Coyote Fan"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=232

"Stop, Drop and Roll"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=233

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/testy.html - - Testy About Tests "Now that school's back in session, people are obsessing and fretting about tests. Newsweek even devoted a large chunk of a recent issue to "The Truth About Testing." But while Newsweek focused on pre-college tests and the SAT, it's the GMAT that's really driving me "Mad." Or at least it would be, if I were hoping to earn an MBA. Not that I was planning to, mind you. Law school was more than enough punishment for one lifetime, thank you very much."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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New York Public Library Digital Galley - - http://digitalgallery.nypl.org/nypldigital/ - - NYPL Digital Gallery provides access to over 415,000 images digitized from primary sources and printed rarities in the collections of The New York Public Library, including illuminated manuscripts, historical maps, vintage posters, rare prints and photographs, illustrated books, printed ephemera, and more.
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PackTrack.com - - http://www.packtrack.com/ - - This site helps you track your package, fast. Site's unique features include: Customizable quick-access buttons, Package tracking log for fast re-tracking, and Access to multiple carriers' tracking on one fast-loading web page.
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Understanding America After 9/11 - - http://understandingamerica.publicradio.org/ - - We knew life in America would never be the same after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, but no one knew exactly how it would change. How has our society and country come to terms since then? Public radio tackles this question with Understanding America after 9/11, a week of special coverage on stations nationwide. Stories and programs from Understanding America after 9/11 were broadcast on public radio stations nationwide September 3 through September 10, 2002. Many of the stories are archived on this site.
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Trans Fat Now Listed On Food Labels - - http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/transfat.html - - The Food and Drug Administration now requires food manufacturers to list trans fat (i.e., trans fatty acids) on Nutrition Facts and some Supplement Facts panels. Scientific evidence shows that consumption of saturated fat, trans fat, and dietary cholesterol raises low-density lipoprotein (LDL or 'bad') cholesterol levels that increase the risk of coronary heart disease (CHD). According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health, over 12.5 million Americans suffer from CHD, and more than 500,000 die each year.
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Medicare and Medicaid at 40 - - http://www.kff.org/medicaid/40years.cfm - - The Medicare and Medicaid health coverage programs were signed into law July 30, 1965. The Kaiser Family Foundation has some new resources that examine how Medicare and Medicaid came into existence and how they have evolved over the past 40 years. You will find new documentaries and extended interviews with key policymakers and government officials examining the origins of Medicare and Medicaid, new interactive historical timelines, a chart pack of key information and statistics.
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The Gateway to Astronaut Photography of Earth - - http://eol.jsc.nasa.gov/sseop/clickmap/ - - This site hosts the best and most complete online collection of astronaut photographs of the Earth from 1961 through the present.
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Torino 2006 Winter Olympics - - http://www.torino2006.org/ - - Official web site for the 20th Olympic Winter Games which play from February 10 -26, 2006, in Torino. Italy.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 10, 2006
Today's Safety From the Heart message is from Lisa Etheridge.
Don't Drink & Drive

Early on Sunday morning, September 18, 1999, Jacqueline Saburido, 20, and four friends were on their way home from a birthday party. Reggie Stephey, an 18-year-old star football player, was on his way home from drinking beer with some buddies. On a dark road on the outskirts of Austin, Texas, Reggie's SUV veered into the Oldsmobile carrying Jacqui and the others. Two passengers in the car were killed at the scene and two were rescued. Within minutes, the car caught fire. Jacqui was pinned in the front seat on the passenger side. She was burned over 60% of her body; no one thought she could survive. But Jacqui lived. Her hands were so badly burned that her fingers had to be amputated. She lost her hair, her ears, her nose, her left eyelid and much of her vision. She has had more than 50 operations since the crash and has many more to go.

In June 2001 Reggie Stephey was convicted of two counts of intoxication manslaughter for the deaths of Jacqui's two friends. He was sentenced to seven years in prison and fined $20,000.
This young lady was recently on Oprah and what a loving, forgiving young woman she is! An amazing story of what she has suffered and will bear the rest of her life. Please share this with your friends and especially your teenagers who are driving. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 18-year-old male student on his way home after drinking a couple of hard packs with his friends. This was in December 1999.

Now 20 years old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night three years ago. He's aware of devastating Jacqueline Saburido's life.

Not everyone who gets hit with a car dies. The doctors are still working on Jacqueline, whose body was covered with 60% severe burns.
DON'T DRINK & DRIVE....
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 9, 2006
"Do as you oughta, add acid to water."
Today's Message is from Steve Alferi (a Houston Albemarle employee).

I was always told that when diluting acid in the laboratory I should have the water in the container first and then slowly add the concentrated acid into the water and not the other way around. I did not know the reason why until one day a person working next to me in a lab put the acid in the container first and then tried to add the water. As the person added the first small addition of water, a lot of heat was given off and the water boiled into steam and this steam blew a slug of concentrated acid out of the container directly over this person's head and onto the floor next to me. Luckily, none of the acid got on the other person or me!! However, I did learn the lesson that bad things will happen if I don't remember the little saying: "Do as you oughta, add acid to water."
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 38 --- 07 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
+---------------------------------------+

Are you worried about Identify Theft? Learn the simple steps to protecting yourself from scammers, both online and offline. Also in this issue, get the scoop on Internet Telephony, and an easy step by step guide to backing up your email. Read on!

----------------
Identity Theft
----------------

Remember that 1995 movie "The Net", starring Sandra Bullock? Okay, I didn't see it either. Somehow I couldn't imagine Sandra as a geek after watching her in "While You Were Sleeping". But I digress... the movie was a story about a growing problem today - identity theft.

If the phrase "identity theft" conjures up images of evil plastic surgeons, you need a crash course on what it is, how it happens, and how to protect yourself. Learn how to protect against Evildoers who want to invade your privacy, run up a tab at your expense, or even commit crimes in your name.

http://askbobrankin.com/identity_theft.html

-----------------------------
What is Internet Telephony?
-----------------------------

Seems like everybody, and everything, is getting connected to the Internet. Have you heard about Internet Telephony? If you have high-speed Internet service, you may be able to save on telephone charges by connecting the phone to your Cable or DSL modem instead of the phone company's wall jack.

And depending on your affinity for wires and gadgets, you may even be able to make free long-distance calls all over the world. Read on to learn more about using the Internet to make phone calls.
http://askbobrankin.com/what_is_internet_telephony.html

----------------------------
Backing Up Outlook Express
----------------------------

A reader recently asked this question about making email backups:

"How can I backup my Outlook Express emails and address book? I tried the Export function but that doesn't work. I can't even drag and drop from the Inbox folder to a diskette or CDROM. Help!"

It's really too bad that Microsoft didn't include a simple one-click backup option in Outlook Express. And after attempting it myself, I began to think that they PURPOSELY made it hard to make a backup of your emails and address book. But after a bit of digging, I was able to come up with a workable solution. Here's a step by step guide to burning a backup CD with your Outlook Express goodies...
http://askbobrankin.com/backup_outlook_express.html

+---------------------------------------+

That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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Microwaving Water Warning 26-year old man decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but suddenly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand, but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy.. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree b! urns to his face which may leave scarring.
He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is a fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc., (nothing metal).
It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle.
General Electric's Response:
Thanks for contacting us, I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it.
To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it.
Here is what our local science teacher had to say on the matter: "Thanks for the microwave warning. I have seen this happen before.. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup)
What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If the cup is very new then it is unlikely t o have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.
What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid. The rapid formation of bubbles is also why a carbonated beverage spews when opened after having been shaken."

Thanks to Aunt Jeanette ford
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The award-winning Thorncrown Chapel is in AR, Here's an article with some photos that Sam Boggs sent us: http://www.aia.org/aiarchitect/thisweek05/tw1216/tw1216_25year.cfm
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God and the Spider

During World War II, a US marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.

Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.

As he waited, he prayed, "Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen."

After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, "Well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one." Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.

As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave.

"Hah, he thought. "What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor."

As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand. To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on. Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while.

"Lord, forgive me," prayed the young man. "I had forgotten that in you a spider's web is stronger than a brick wall."

We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to forget what God can work in our lives, sometimes in the most surprising ways. And remember with God, a mere spider's web becomes a brick wall of protection.

Thanks to Todd and Kathy Raymond
http://hideaway_fun.home.att.net/378/god_spider.htm
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15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

A Minute: They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time .. to live and love.

Thanks to David Kirkpatrick
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Junior Charity League “Follies” Friday night - February 24, and Saturday night - February 25. ~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. 1st. Lt. Simon T. Cox, Jr., 30, of Texas, died in Taji, Iraq, on Feb. 2, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his M2A3 Bradley. Cox was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 66th Armored Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

02. Sgt. 1st Class Lance S. Cornett, 33, of London, Ky., died in the vicinity of Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on Feb. 3, of injuries sustained earlier that day while engaging enemy forces. Cornett was assigned to the U.S. Army Special Operations Command, Fort Bragg, N.C.

03. Cpl. Jesse M. Zamora, 22, of Las Cruces, N.M., died in Bayji, Iraq, on Feb. 3, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Zamora was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

04. 1st. Lt. Simon T. Cox, Jr., 30, of Texas, died in Taji, Iraq, on Feb. 2, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his M2A3 Bradley. Cox was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 66th Armored Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

05. Spc. William S. Hayes III, 23, of St. Tammany, La., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 5, of a non-combat related injury. Hayes was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

06. Spc. Sergio A. Mercedes Saez, 23, of New York, N.Y., died in Baghdad, Iraq on Feb. 5, when the HMMWV in which he was riding accidentally rolled over into a canal. Mercedes Saez was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Al Husayniyah, Iraq on Feb. 5, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their Stryker Engineer Squad Vehicle. Both soldiers were assigned to the 562nd Engineer Company, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.
Killed were:
07. Staff Sgt. Christopher R. Morningstar, 27, of San Antonio, Texas.
08. Sgt. Jeremiah J. Boehmer, 22, of Parkston, S.D.

09. Spc. Patrick W. Herried, 29, of Sioux Falls, S.D., died in Rawah, Iraq, on Feb. 6, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his Stryker military vehicle during patrol operations. Herried was assigned to the Army's 4th Squadron, 14th Cavalry Regiment, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. Killed were:
10. Cpl. Orville Gerena, 21, of Virginia Beach, Va.
11. Lance Cpl. David S. Parr, 22, of Benson, N.C.

Both Marines died Feb. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Hit, Iraq. They were assigned to Battalion Landing Team, 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

12. Petty Officer 3rd Class John T. Fralish, 30, of New Kingstown, Pa., died Feb. 6, when enemy forces opened fire on a U.S. patrol northwest of Methar Lam in Laghman Province, Afghanistan. Fralish was assigned to the 3rd Marine Division Detachment, Marine Corps Base Hawaii, Kaneohe, Hawaii.

13. Spc. Allen D. Kokesh Jr., 21, of Yankton, S. D., died at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas, on Feb. 7 of injuries sustained in Baghdad, Iraq, on Dec. 4 when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Kokesh was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 147th Field Artillery, Yankton, S. D.

14. Spc. Roberto L. Martinez Salazar, 21, of Long Beach, Calif., died in Mosul, Iraq on Feb. 4, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his up-armored HMMWV during patrol operations. Martinez Salazar was assigned to Company A, 14th Engineer Battalion, 555th Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, Fort Lewis, Wash.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
15. Cpl. Brandon S. Schuck, 21, of Safford, Ariz., died Feb. 6 from an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Baghdadi, Iraq. He was assigned to the 8th Engineer Support Battalion, 2nd Marine Logistics Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
16. Pfc. Jacob D. Spann, 21, of Columbus, Ohio, died Feb. 6 from wounds sustained as a result of an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Hit, Iraq. He was assigned to Battalion Landing Team 1st Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
17. Lance Cpl. Steven L. Phillips, 27, of Chesapeake, Va., died Feb. 7 from a non-hostile vehicle accident while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Al Qaim, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

18. Pfc. Matthew L. Bertolino, 20, of Hampstead, N.H., died Feb. 9, when the vehicle he was traveling in was involved in a rollover while operating as part of a combat patrol near Jalalabad, Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making your Birthday list. (Well, I didn’t expect to get everything for Christmas.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Childcare is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Gal 4:16-17 James 2:1-4 Isa 65:1-2 Eph 5:15-17 Mark 1:32-35 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of our Dreamcenter crew cooking for the kids and Jimmy with Ethan.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>