Bugs Bleat 1Q: Bug's Bleat -

Volume 8, Issue 09 Friday, March 03, 2006

Hello All,

Please put David Kirkpatrick’s wife Sandy on your prayer list. Her cancer has come back and they need our prayers. Everything looks totally different from your knees!
– Dan Pearson, Chief - - Bussey-Sharman FD
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"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought." -- Pope John Paul II 1920-2005
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We extend our sincere sympathy to the family of Johnny McDonald who passed away last Saturday night of an apparent heart attack. Johnny was a Maintenance Crew Leader at Albemarle.
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Skywarn classes next Tuesday March 7th at 6 pm. Mt.Vernon CHURCH. See you then!
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The district basketball tournament has been going on this week in Magnolia. Full houses in the high school arena and lots of visitors in town. It’s not “Hoosiers” but still lots of fun.
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Cullen AOG folks are “outstanding”. They’ve showered Jimmy and Vanessa with love and honor. The parsonage is beautiful. Those folks really went all out to prepare the home and help them move.
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Dusty’s “Upward” team praying before the game, The coaches of “Upward”, Annette and Ethan, Josiah and Shelly, one of my favorite nurses who was filming her son’s game.
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Atlantis will be the first of NASA's 3 space shuttles to be retired, most likely in 2008. Its parts will be used by the remaining shuttles, Discovery and Endeavor, until the shuttle program ends in 2010. Atlantis began flying in 1985 and will likely have 4 or 5 more flights to the International Space Station before retirement. NASA has planned 17 more shuttle flights before the program ends; the next-generation vehicles are expected by 2014.
Let’s do the math... Atlantis is scrapped in ‘08. Discovery and Endeavor retire in ‘10. New vehicles are expected in ‘14 (and NASA hasn’t gotten any recent programs off the ground on time.)
So what happens to the space station between ‘10 and ‘14?
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Keith Burton Gave Me These

http://www.photoshoptv.com

http://www.extremetech.com/category2/0,1695,644478,00.asp

http://digitallifetv.com/blogs/digitallifetv/default.aspx
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Speaking of technology, we finally got our new DVD player hooked up. I won it at the Albemarle SET planning meeting this year and we installed it in the kitchen. Now Annette can watch old movies on two TVs.
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CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you, Jesus."
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.
GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

Thanks to Claiborne Sharp Jr.
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I already miss the Winter Olympics. Only four more years until nationally broadcast curling returns.
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Claiborne Sharp came up this week and moved our choir mikes to cover the area where we moved the choir. While he and John were there, they “tweaked” the system to bring it back up to “snuff.”
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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We still have some tickets for the "Friends For Pat Antoon Benefit" Steak Dinner and Entertainment on Friday, March 10 @ 7 pm at the Magnolia National Guard Armory. Tickets are $25 each.
There will also be a Silent Auction and Rifle Drawing Announcement at the dinner.
For more information call 234-6684 or 562-3748
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Who owns our ports isn’t the issue. Who secures them is.
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Senator Pryor is pushing legislation to allow the FEMA trailers to be installed in flood plains. That would allow some of the 10,000 stored at Hope to be moved to South Louisiana.
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.29
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Manny’s Good Fudge - James Fort McClellan

Ingredients:
¾ cup butter
3 cups sugar
2/3 cup canned milk
1 pkg 12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 jar marshmallow cream
Vanilla
Nuts as desired

Method:
Boil butter, sugar and milk for 5 minutes. Add chocolate chips, marshmallow cream, vanilla and nuts. Spread on a greased pan and cut when cool.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

Breakouts
Which Movies Are Really in the Mainstream?
March 3, 2006

If all goes as expected at this Sunday’s Academy Awards, Brokeback Mountain will win in the “Best Picture,” “Best Director,” and perhaps even “Best Actor” categories. Even if it doesn’t do as well as expected, the film is already being hailed as a “breakout” event, a kind of cultural watershed of sorts—which it almost certainly is not.

By “breakout,” I mean the idea, most famously advanced by New York Times columnist Frank Rich, that the movie would do well in the “heartland,” and that this, in turn, would signal an increased acceptance of same-sex relationships.

As USA Today summarized it, the film would change “how Hollywood portrays gay characters [and] also how gay men and lesbians are accepted by mainstream America.”

Well, it turns out that the reports of a breakout were greatly exaggerated. While admittedly, Brokeback did well at the box office, its audience was exactly whom you would have predicted all along: people in the Northeast and on the West Coast. The film made far more money in Canada than in the Great Plains or the Rocky Mountain states.

There’s nothing new in this pattern. As Mickey Kaus of Slate pointed out, it’s the same pattern we saw with Fahrenheit 9/11, the anti-Bush documentary. Then, as now, reports about the film’s alleged popularity in middle-America were treated as harbingers of a cultural shift. Then, as now, these reports were shown to be equal parts wishful thinking, spin, and propaganda.

But even if we concede that Brokeback’s $70 million-plus at the box office “is a sign of American mainstream status,” we are still left with another question. “What is $288 million or even . . . $370 million” a sign of?

This question was posed by columnist Terry Mattingly. The numbers he’s citing are the comparable box-office takes for The Chronicles of Narnia and The Passion of the Christ, respectively. These films not only made many times what Brokeback did, they did well in every part of the country. By Rich and company’s logic, this would place them and their Christian messages squarely in the “mainstream.” But don’t hold your breath waiting for such an acknowledgment.

The truth is that, as Mattingly writes, “Brokeback Mountain is a solid, artistic niche movie for the hard left in American life.” This group is “dominated by Oscar voters and Hollywood’s most loyal supporters in blue zip codes.”

The insular worldview of this group is why the “Best Picture” nominees are, as the Los Angeles Times put it, “five movies most people haven’t seen.” This year’s Oscars are a celebration of one particular group’s ideals and tell us little about what constitutes mainstream American attitudes.

That’s why we need to ask ourselves another of Mattingly’s questions: Who will make commercially successful movies that “force Hollywood people to grit their teeth when it comes time for the Oscar voting?”

For Mattingly, whose new book Pop Goes Religion looks at the relationship between faith and popular culture, the obvious answer is “Christians.” If we can learn how to make good films—and we’re beginning to do so—that people will want to see, we could then witness a real breakout: one that leads away from Hollywood’s insular worldview and in a much more positive direction.
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For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: Finding God in the Movies: 33 Films of Reel Faith by Robert K. Johnston and Catherine Barsotti.

Terry Mattingly, “American Tribes Go to Different Movies,” Get Religion, 1 March 2006.

Terry Mattingly, Pop Goes Religion: Faith in Popular Culture (W Publishing, 2005).

Scott Bowles, “‘Brokeback Mountain’: Milestone or movie of the moment?” USA Today, 21 February 2006.

Mickey Kaus, “Stix Nix Crix Pix!: Plus—The NYT’s Sacred Rattner,” Slate, 22 February 2006.

Mary McNamara, “5 Films with Depth, if Not Breadth,” Los Angeles Times, 1 February 2006.

Rod Dreher, “The Real Message in Brokeback,” Dallas Morning News, 29 December 2005.

Chad Thompson, “Breathing Humanity into Brokeback,” Townhall.com, 31 January 2006.

Regis Nicoll, “On-Screen Romance: Love, from Casablanca to Brokeback,” BreakPoint Online, 7 February 2006.

Alex Wainer, “Light of the World, Camera, Action: Behind the Screen: Hollywood Insiders on Faith, Film, and Culture,” BreakPoint Online, 6 January 2006.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
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Words of the Week:
cogent: appealing to the mind or to reason; convincing.
apothegm: a short, witty, and instructive saying.
posit: to postulate; also, to suggest.
scion: a descendant; an heir.
doula: a woman who assists in childbirth.
largess: generous giving; also, gifts of money or other valuables.
dilettante: an amateur; also, an admirer or lover of the fine arts.
from Dictionary.Com
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"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

"New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Things could not have been brought into being by God in any manner or in any order different from that which has in fact obtained." - Baruch Spinoza

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." - Bernard Baruch

"It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old down all the unchanging days, and die one day like any other day, only shorter." - Samuel Beckett

"Anxiety is the space between the 'now' and the 'then.' " - Richard Abell

"Maturity is coming to terms with that other part of yourself." - Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

Mississippi Joins Burgeoning Movement to Ban Abortion - Governor Says He Would Sign the Bill
"The current movement to ban abortion in the states and challenge Roe v. Wade is an historic and unprecedented one - and it is picking up steam."

Founder of the World Congress of Families Sides with Mayor of Moscow - Children, Not Alternative Lifestyles, Should Be Celebrated
Larry Jacobs / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 24, 2006)
"Individuals involved in a homosexual lifestyle should have the same rights as other citizens. Nevertheless, any society wanting a future should celebrate the natural and the fecund, not the intentionally barren."
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GCF: Nose Ring

Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day)
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

(-:][:-)

Perfectly Made

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List)
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers.

I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret.

He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.

(-:][:-)

Reason for Happiness?

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license.

"Will there be any change of address?" the clerk inquired.

"No," I replied.

"Oh, good," she said, clearly delighted. "You got the house."

(-:][:-)

Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work

Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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1. You've read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 2006 - and it's only the middle of February.

2. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis. Or maybe Mister Rogers.

3. You've definitively figured out a way to get Gilligan OFF the island.

4. You decide to see how many Jolt Colas you can drink before the inevitable explosion occurs.

5. Co-workers come into your cubicle frequently ... to borrow pencils from your ceiling.

6. The 5th Division of Paper Clips has completely overrun the Pushpin Infantry, and General White-Out has called for reinforcements.

(-:][:-)

Weight Report

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List)
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
-----------------------------------------

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.

Comments, suggestions, flames, etc.
tellswor@slonet.org
_ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] GCFL Donation Drive time

Donation Drive (15 days left) Do you enjoy GCFL? If so, please consider a small donation to help keep things running. Please visit http://www.gcfl.net/donate.php for details.

About once every six months or so, we humbly ask for a small donation to keep things running here at GCFL.net.

Wait! Before you run off to unsubscribe from the list thinking, "I thought they said this thing was free!!!" let me reassure you: GCFL IS, AND WILL ALWAYS REMAIN FREE! There is no obligation to pay for GCFL mailings.

It does cost money to run GCFL.net (just like everything else), but instead of peppering the mailings with advertisements everyday, we prefer to just ask for a small donation. If we do a good job, some people will be willing to donate a dollar or two, and if we keep our costs down, it will be enough.

Since 1996, we've been mailing good, clean funnies to GCFL members and they have always come through wonderfully, giving when they can.

We receive emails and letters nearly everyday from members saying how much they enjoy GCFL, and how it helps them start their day. It seems people from 12 to 101 (seriously!) enjoy our funnies, and we sure enjoy making GCFL what it is.

We only ask for one dollar because we feel it's not too much to ask, and just about everyone should be able to handle it. However, if you can't afford it, don't worry about it! We'll continue the best we can.

So, if you feel so inclined, please send your donation to:

GCFL Box 100 Harvest, AL 35749 USA

Send a dollar bill (or two) (yes, it's OK to send cash in the mail for this purpose), or if you want to, write checks to "GCFL." You can also use PayPal (www.paypal.com) if you prefer. Please use email address gcfl@gcfl.net. Remember PayPal charges 2.9% + 30 cents for each transaction, so maybe you PayPal people can send $1.34 to cover that cost? It's your call.

Thanks for helping us keep GCFL alive and kicking!

John Price GCFL Director

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[GCFL.net] Paramedic Lawyer

PARAMEDIC LAWYER

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times.

"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."

The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average response time by 20 percent."

Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(-:][:-)

Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?

So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your presence.

What's so great about humans anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple:

THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations, and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans, and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train.

2. How and When to Get Your Human's Attention

Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as conducting business, spending time with their families, or even sleeping.

Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice.

Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want:

Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it assumes the paper is more important than you. It will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys, and small children.

Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's "golden time" is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention; remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious.

3. Punishing Your Human Being

Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire; the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:

* Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.

* Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.

* Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack.

* After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling.

* While your human is sleeping, lie on its face.

4. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive?

The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disemboweled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented.

After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend the following: cold-blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes, and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm-blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbor's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it.

5. How Long Should You Keep Your Human?

You are obligated to your human for only one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will take you only so far.

Received from Pastor Tim.

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Cart Ads

My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance. Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards.

"Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked.

"That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?"

"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it."

Received from The Cybersalt Digest.

(-:][:-)

Marines

LETTER FROM A FARM KID (now at Camp Pendleton, San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay... practically nothing. Men got to shave but it's not so bad... there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you 'til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

Received from Brennon Meals.

GCFL - *Coffee Cool*

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay.

Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113

Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

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Wrong e-mail address

LESSON to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday, and his wife was flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without notici! ng his error, sent the email to the wrong address. Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston... a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a Minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Date: Friday, October 13, 2005
Subject: I have Arrived!

Dearest Love:

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send email to your loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS: Sure ! is freaking hot down here!!

Thanks to John Chadsey
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Thanks to John Chadsey
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NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

THESE ARE LISTED AS THEY WERE SPELLED. These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.)

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the runs.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. [you know, this could be legit! ;-) ]

15. I kept billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer foR missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids!

~~Blessed are the cracked, for it is they who let in the light~~

Thanks to John Chadsey
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Dads*

My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep.

Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven.

When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up.

"Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"

(-:][:-)

*Parrot Attitude*

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

(-:][:-)

*Misbehaving Phone Call*

Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.

Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

(-:][:-)

*Listen For The Word*

Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless, so my wife handed him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the speaker said the word "and."

After a while, he grew bored, and I asked, "Would you like to listen for a different word?"

"Yes," he whispered. "I'd like to listen for 'Amen'."

Eye Laugh

"Flee The Fridge"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=260

"Dog Tired"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=246

"Gas Saver"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=247

"Pastoral Reference"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=248

"Shelf Life"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=249

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/mscareerperson.html - - Ms. CareerPerson Answer Your Questions "Lately I've been getting lots of e-mail from women who'd like to return to the work-force. My first instinct is to ask: Why on earth would you want to do that..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Picasa - - http://picasa.google.com/ - - Picasa is software that helps you instantly find, edit and share all the pictures on your PC. Every time you open Picasa, it automatically locates all your pictures (even ones you forgot you had) and sorts them into visual albums organized by date with folder names you will recognize. You can drag and drop to arrange your albums and make labels to create new groups. Picasa makes sure your pictures are always organized.
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Home Improvement Tools - - http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_improvement/tools/ - - This Popular Mechanics magazine site presents dozens of articles from the magazine's archives on hand and power tools, including purchase and use of specific tools, product reviews, and tool tests. Tools discussed include: circular saws, table saws, routers, tape measures, clamps, chisels, wire strippers, and screwdrivers. Related sites: DIY Network: Home Improvement Tools / This Old House: Tools & Materials.
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FedStats - - http://www.fedstats.gov/ - - FedStats is the new window on the full range of official statistical information available to the public from the Federal Government. Use the Internet's powerful linking and searching capabilities to track economic and population trends, education, health care costs, aviation safety, foreign trade, energy use, farm production, and more. Access official statistics collected and published by more than 100 Federal agencies without having to know in advance which agency produces them.
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Merck Veterinary Manual - - http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp - - The single most comprehensive electronic reference for animal care information. Includes over 12,000 indexed topics and over 1200 illustrations. Rapidly search by topic, species, specialty, disease, and keyword using advanced search.
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FamilyDoctor.org - - http://www.familydoctor.org/ - - This Web provides health information for the whole family site is operated by the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), a national medical organizations representing more than 93,700 family physicians, family practice residents and medical students. All of the information on this site has been written and reviewed by physicians and patient education professionals at the AAFP.
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Robert's Rules of Order - - http://www.bartleby.com/176/ - - In 1876 General Henry M. Robert set out to bring the rules of the American Congress to members of ordinary societies with the publication of Pocket Manual of Rules of Order. It sold half a million copies before this revision of 1915 and made Robert's name synonymous with the orderly rule of reason in deliberative societies.
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100 Most Often Misspelled Words - - http://yourdictionary.com/library/misspelled.html - - Here are the 100 words most often misspelled ('misspell' is one of them) as presented by yourDictionary.com. Each word has a mnemonic pill with it and, if you swallow it, it will help you to remember how to spell the word. Master the orthography of the words on this page and reduce the time you spend searching dictionaries by 50%.
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National Weather Service - - http://www.nws.noaa.gov/ - - The National Weather Service (NWS) provides weather, hydrologic, and climate forecasts and warnings for the United States, its territories, adjacent waters and ocean areas, for the protection of life and property and the enhancement of the national economy. NWS data and products form a national information database and infrastructure which can be used by other governmental agencies, the private sector, the public, and the global community.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 2, 2006
Today's Message is from Brenda Pritchard (a Houston Albemarle employee).
GENERAL SAFETY - OFFICE SAFETY PRACTICES

It is amazing how many people who work in offices take safety for granted. Most people think of a construction site or factory when they think of safety. Well, that's not the way it should be. Granted, construction sites and factories are potentially extremely dangerous; but offices can be too, especially when no one considers safety. Let's review some of the situations that increase exposure to injury and what we can do about them. Avoid walking and reading at the same time. If it is important enough to read, then stop and read it. Never leave file cabinets open and unattended; never, not even for a minute. How long does it really take to open a file cabinet? Never run in the office. Nothing is so important that you must risk running into a co-worker.

Leave your shoes on. If your shoes are too uncomfortable to wear all day, then wear different shoes. Running around the office barefoot is a sure way to stub a toe or pick up a staple. When you must carry files, don't carry more than you are capable of. If you're grunting or your muscles get tired, you're carrying too much. Use a cart or make more trips.

Avoid placing extension cords on the floor. These are tripping hazards and can also become fire hazards. Never, ever put your fingers in an automatic stapler or stamper. Always unplug it before you try to unjam it.

Always keep aisle ways clear. Never stack boxes or supplies in aisle ways or in front of egress paths. Never arrange offices with desks in front of exits. Avoid bending at the waist when accessing low files. If you must access low files, either stoop down or get on your knees. Avoid twisting and reaching for files or other materials in your work station. Move your whole body to prevent back strain.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 24, 2006 Stay Focused
Today's Message is from Belinda Fischer (a Houston Albemarle employee).

Recently I was traveling to College Station on one of our many trips to Aggieland, and I looked over to the car next to me, and the driver was reading the newspaper. He had the paper balanced on the steering wheel and was attempting to drive while reading the newspaper. There are already so many distractions on the road without us complicating things with stuff like talking on the phone, putting on make up, reading a book or newspaper, looking at the passengers in the vehicle while talking to them, letting our dogs climb on us while driving down the road, etc. This is just a reminder to stay focused on the road while driving, and drive defensively (especially around other cars that have people driving while reading the newspaper!!!). Accidents can happen in a split second, and when we least expect it.

------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 22, 2006
Boiling Water in the Microwave
Today's Message is from Becky Wofford (a Houston Albemarle employee).

In this season of "winter" weather when many people may need only a cup of hot water for cocoa or tea to take the chill out, I thought the following tip that I received via email would be appropriate.

A 26-year old man decided to have a cup of coffee. He took a cup of water and put it in the microwave to heat it up (something that he had done numerous times before). I am not sure how long he set the timer for, but he wanted to bring the water to a boil. When the timer shut the oven off, he removed the cup from the oven. As he looked into the cup, he noted that the water was not boiling, but suddenly the water in the cup "blew up" into his face. The cup remained intact until he threw it out of his hand, but all the water had flown out into his face due to the build up of energy. His whole face is blistered and he has 1st and 2nd degree burns to his face, which may leave scarring. He also may have lost partial sight in his left eye. While at the hospital, the doctor who was attending to him stated that this is a fairly common occurrence and water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc., (nothing metal). A much safer choice is to boil the water in a teakettle or use the hot water faucets or the coffee makers when at work.
Here is General Electric's response to the email article:

"Thanks for contacting us, I will be happy to assist you. The e-mail that you received is correct. Microwaved water and other liquids do not always bubble when they reach the boiling point. They can actually get superheated and not bubble at all. The superheated liquid will bubble up out of the cup when it is moved or when something like a spoon or tea bag is put into it. To prevent this from happening and causing injury, do not heat any liquid for more than two minutes per cup. After heating, let the cup stand in the microwave for thirty seconds before moving it or adding anything into it."
Here is a Science Teacher's response to the email article:
"I have seen this happen before. It is caused by a phenomenon known as super heating. It can occur anytime water is heated and will particularly occur if the vessel that the water is heated in is new, or when heating a small amount of water (less than half a cup). What happens is that the water heats faster than the vapor bubbles can form. If the cup is very new then it is unlikely to have small surface scratches inside it that provide a place for the bubbles to form. As the bubbles cannot form and release some of the heat that has built up, the liquid does not boil, and the liquid continues to heat up well past its boiling point.

What then usually happens is that the liquid is bumped or jarred, which is just enough of a shock to cause the bubbles to rapidly form and expel the hot liquid. The rapid formation of bubbles is also why a carbonated beverage spews when opened after having been shaken."
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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It is time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN Humor! Only I don't see it as Humor, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE ! If you feel the same, pass this on to your True American friends. Ya'll know who ya' are...
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect that America is a melting pot and that we are the greatest nation on earth because we take the best of all nations and combine it to make it better!

God Bless the U S A !
Git 'er done!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to Sam Boggs
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Grandpa's Hands

This reminded me of my dad; I'll never look at my hands the same!

Grandpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK. Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," he said in a clear strong voice. "I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to him. "Have you ever looked at your hands," he asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?" I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making. Grandpa smiled and related this story: "Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my Mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my Parents and Spouse and walked my Daughter down the aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friend's foot. They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ " I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my Grandpa's hands and led him home. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife I think of Grandpa. I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face. When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life. Let's continue praying for one another.

Thanks to David Lamb
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What I wish people knew about EMS, Firefighters, & Law Enforcement.

I wish you could know what it is like to search a burning bedroom for trapped children at 3 am, flames rolling above your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl, the floor sagging under your weight as the floor below you burns.

I wish you could comprehend a husband's horror at 6 in the morning as I check his wife of 40 years for a pulse and find none. I start CPR anyway, hoping to bring her back, knowing intuitively it is too late. But wanting her husband and family to know everything possible was done to try to save her life.

I wish you knew the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled mucus, the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames crackling, the eeriness of being able to see absolutely nothing in dense smoke-sensations that I've become too familiar with.

I wish you could read my mind as I respond to a building fire "Is this a false alarm or a working fire? How is the building constructed? What hazards await me? Is anyone trapped?" Or to call, "What is wrong with the patient? Is it minor or life-threatening? Is the caller really in distress or is he waiting for us with a 2 x 4 or a gun?"

I wish you could be in the emergency room as a doctor pronounces dead the beautiful five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the past 30 minutes, who will never go on her first date or say the words, "I love you Mommy" again.

I wish you could know the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine or unit the driver with his foot pressing down hard on the pedal, my hand pressing the air horn as hard as I can, as you fail to yield the right-of-way at an intersection or in traffic. When you need us however, your first comment upon our arrival will be, "It took you forever to get here!"

I wish you could know my thoughts as I help extricate a teenage girl from the remains of her automobile. "What if this was my daughter, sister, my girlfriend or a friend? What is her parent's reaction going to be when they open the door to find a police officer with hat in hand?"

I wish you could know how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my parents and family, not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come back from the last call.

I wish you could know how it feels listening to our radios with officers, firefighters and EMT's out and when we call for them and our heart drops because no one answers back or to here a bone chilling 911 call of a child or wife needing assistance.

I wish you could feel the hurt as people verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse us or belittle what I do, or as they express their attitudes of "It will never happen to me."

I wish you could realize the physical, emotional and mental drain or missed meals, lost sleep and forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have seen.

I wish you could know the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving someone's property, or being able to be there in time of crisis, or creating order from total chaos.

I wish you could understand what it feels like to have a little boy tugging at your arm and asking, "Is Mommy okay?" Not even being able to look in his eyes without tears from your own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold back a long time friend who watches his buddy having CPR done on him as you take him away in the Medic Unit. You know all along he did not have his seat belt on.

Unless you have lived with this kind of life, you will never truly understand or appreciate who I am, we are, or what our job really means to us...I wish you could though.

Thanks to John Burge
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Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spendingtime with.

Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in New Zealand." (Charles Schultz and Don Canfield )

Thanks to Buddy Kyle
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"When your hut is burning"

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for GOD to rescue him and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened, and everything was lost.

He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger.

"GOD, how could you do this to me?" he cried.

Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here? "Asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because GOD is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain, and suffering.

Remember that, the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of GOD.

Thanks to Genevieve White
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verse of the day -- Harley Hudson

Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one would say you were baptized in my name. Now I did baptize also the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized any other. For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would not be made void. - - 1 Co 1:13-17 (NASB95)

Do your remember the story demonstrating Solomon’s wisdom? Two prostitutes came to the great king and asked him to judge between them. It seems that both were living in the same apartment and both had young babies. During the night, one of the mothers rolled over upon her infant and smothered it. Not wanting to be childless, she switched babies while her roommate was sleeping. Upon awaking in the morning, the second mother found her child motionless and cold … except it wasn’t hers. She rightfully claimed her living child, but could not pull it from the mother who actually had done the dastardly deed. Could Solomon solve this problem?

As we know, Solomon asked for a sword and proceeded to prepare to chop the living child in half. One of the mothers screamed in shock, “Let the other woman have the child!” The second urged the king to continue with the execution. The wise king had his answer. The one who called for mercy for the child was the real mother and was awarded custody of the infant.

Jesus had been accused of being a servant of satan because He healed people. Jesus’ response was simple, “Can a man serve two masters? He will hate the one and love the other.”

What do these two stories have in common? What do they have to do with today’s verses? The answer is simple. Both have to do with dividing things. The first proposed dividing had the intent of discovering truth. The second was a false accusation the led to the teaching of a valuable lesson about being divided.

Paul asks the question in verse 13: “Has Christ been divided?” Remember, we talked about sectarianism last time – the divisiveness in the Corinthian church and the divisiveness in the modern American church. Paul is shocked! The picture he paints with this simple question points to a Christ who has been drawn and quartered. Some might be claiming to be the upper right torso while others were claiming to be the lower left haunches. Absurd? You bet! Obviously Jesus has not been treated in that way! He is the resurrected Christ, perfect and whole. Even in crucifixion, not a bone in his body was broken.

Christ is not divided and neither should his Church be divided. Paul continues by saying that he is glad that very few of those in Corinth had been even baptized by him. They actually had no claim to be “of Paul”. The claim they do have comes because of the Gospel that he preached … the Gospel of a resurrected Lord who brings all believers into a right relationship with the One True God. As Christ is not divided, neither is His Gospel, and neither should be His bride, the Church.

Can you even begin to imagine what would happen if the American Church worked in a united fashion … each part of the body functioning with the gifts that the Holy Spirit had endowed them with. Some the fingers, some the feet, some the eyes, some the heart … all working for the common good, the spreading of the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Oh but for the divisions it might happen! Is Christ divided? God forbid. Then let the Church unite!

-=+=-

Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, “I am of Paul,” and “I of Apollos,” and “I of Cephas,” and “I of Christ.” Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? - - 1 Cor 1:12-13 (NASB95)

Paul, not one to pull punches nor leave things ambiguous, blurts out what is on his mind. Remember, these are Paul’s objections to what is happening in Corinth. He has yet to even begin to address the questions they have asked. “… that each one of you is saying, ‘I am of Paul,’ and ‘I of Apollos,’ and ‘I of Cephas,’ and ‘I of Christ.’” It seems that the Corinthians had begun to divide themselves up into groups based upon who lead them to Christ … or perhaps who they though was the best preacher/teacher … or maybe who looked best in the pulpit. We don’t know exactly what the criterion for these groups was. What we do now is that like a bunch of adolescent kids on the playground, they had chosen sides, and they were not particularly shy about which group they thought was best.

If we look at the names of the groups, we see that each has some input into the Corinthian Church. Paul was the founder of the congregation. He had wandered into the city after leaving Athens. He apparently was sick and weak. He says later that he came to them without the fiery preaching that others may have used. If tradition is any indication, Paul was a rather short Jew with the deeply hooked nose associated with Jews of his day. He was certainly no Brad Pit or even a Harrison Ford. Since he came to them in weakness, relying on the power of the Gospel for his strength, it is unlikely that he was a powerful orator like Billy Graham. Still, some thought he was great enough to follow.

Apollos was an itinerate preacher who frequented Corinth. His early teachings were based upon the “baptism of John”. That means he preached repentance but did not have all the facts. John called for the people to prepare for the Messiah. Paul and the Apostles called for a people who would follow the Messiah. Apollos’ message was incomplete … until Pricilla and Aquila found him and taught him the entire Good News Message. It seems that Aquila was a fiery preacher capable of leading a needy people like a Pied Piper.

Cephas was most likely the Apostle Peter. There may be others who would lay claim to the name in Corinth, but the great Apostle still is the leading candidate. We do know that Peter was fiery, opinionated, outspoken, and an ambassador of Jesus, the Messiah. Whether he made a trip to Corinth or not, I don’t know. Even if he didn’t, his influence surely reached Corinth in the form of reputation and, most likely, converts who traveled in that direction.

Then there is Jesus. We all know Him and follow Him. What I sectarian about that? The claim was sectarian in that those who claimed it were placing themselves in a position of divisiveness. They were not using the name of Jesus to bring unity, but to set themselves apart from the rest of the Corinth crowd.

As you know or will soon discover, I will not leave you without a modern application. So, here it is. Have you ever heard anyone say “I’m a Baptist”, “I’m a Methodist”, “I’m a charismatic”, or even “I’m a Christian Church member?” There you have it. These titles are all sectarian and divisive. None of these groups, though they all preach the same Gospel of Jesus, designs to bring unity to the body, but foster disunity on the basis of a favorite “doctrine” or teaching. Think about it. Am I not right? Really? Deep down in your heart you know it is true.

Are you mad at me yet? Hang on. If you don’t unsubscribe because of this writing, you likely will tomorrow.

-=+=-

Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you. - - 1 Co 1:10-11 (NASB95)

What happened to the nice, loveable, kind, complimentary Apostle? He has moved from gentleness to exhorter in a heartbeat. Paul is agitated. As we shall see in a few verses, Paul just couldn’t stand still one last second. He had to launch into his first issue. He will return to being nice in a bit, but for now the Corinthians should be wearing steel toed sandals because Paul is on a rampage.

As an aside, it is important to know that Paul is dictating this letter. He is not sitting at a desk carefully crafting a reply. There is not pile of wadded parchment littering the floor as he started and stalled and started again. This is Paul the preacher, the exhorter, the exposer of wrong actions and evil. He is probably pacing the floor as his scribe scratches to keep up with the fiery outburst. Paul has jumped ahead in his response and has launched into full frontal attack.

What was Paul’s first issue? Divisions. Disunity. Sectarianism. Cronyism. Call it what you will, Paul found out that there were problems … and the greatest of these was the inability of the Corinthian church to get along. Fortunately, we know who spilled the proverbial beans: Chloe’s people. What is not clear is whether Chloe’s people were the bearers of the letter the Corinthians sent to Paul or whether they were sent separately. What we do know is that there is trouble in River City and it is NOT spelled “pool”. Pardon the pun and reference to “Music Man”, but I couldn’t resist.

Paul’s exhortation begins with a simple request: “… that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you …” Thus Paul launches into a teaching that will set the theme for the entire letter to First Corinthians, though that theme is not necessarily “unity”. Indeed, this is just the launching pad. The true theme is revealed a bit later … after Paul has settled down, perhaps after the scribe reads back what he has written and Paul realized that he did not finish the initial thoughts.

For now, it is sufficient to understand one thing: that the Corinthians be of the same mind and the same judgment. Paul wants a single minded set of believers who will work together to advance the Kingdom of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in Corinth and thus throughout the reaches of the Roman Empire.

It is with a similar thrust that God is calling the American church to abandon her divisiveness and sectarianisms and rally around the Cross of Jesus Christ. Lest I begin to spoil the comments for the next verse, I shall cease to write and pray that we will have ears to hear and hearts to listen to what God is saying to us. We need what Paul is telling us. We need to see and hear and obey the words of God as spoken through this man some 2000 years ago. They are as fresh today as they were to the Corinthians. They are also as stinging today as they were then … if we will keep an open mind and let the Word speak.

-=+=-

I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, that in everything you were enriched in Him, in all speech and all knowledge, even as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you, so that you are not lacking in any gift, awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will also confirm you to the end, blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. - - 1 Co 1:4-9 (NASB95)

We’ve all heard of the “sandwich method” of confrontation. Before you criticize someone, you give them a compliment. After the criticism, you compliment them again. Today’s verses are the “bread” of Paul’s letter.

Paul is genuinely blessing the Corinthians. He does indeed thank God for them. They are indeed recipients of God’s grace. They are truly enriched in Christ Jesus. They have certainly been blessed with God’s Word and knowledge of God’s salvation. This is all verified because of their saved condition. Jesus intercedes for them before the Father. Nor were the Corinthians lacking in any spiritual gifts. They had them all … and that was part of the problem, but that is a message for another day. The Corinthians were eagerly seeking Jesus and His final plans for them. Paul wanted above all else for them to be true to God, and Jesus, and the Gospel. Finally, he reminds the Corinthians that God is true to His word and will see them through to the end because of their relationship with Jesus.

I can imagine the readers with a rather smug look on their faces. They thought they had it made. Sure, there were problems. They had expressed that fact in a letter to the Apostle. Now the great one had answered them and they were content that he would find them adequate.

How complacent we, the American church, tend to be. Many of us were raised Christians. We knew about Jesus from the day we were born. Some of us were read children’s versions of the Bible even before we were born. Those of us who came to know Jesus later in life have come to an equal contentment. We are on the right track. After all, didn’t God bless America with all of this wealth and success so that we might spread the Gospel around the world? Indeed the American church has done that, and we are reaping the benefits of that work.

Friends, remember that these verses are the bread. The sandwich will not be complete until Paul slathers on the goods that make up the middle. Let us not make the mistake of the Corinthians and take on an arrogance that is unbecoming. Most of us are reaping what our forefathers have sown. The greatness of America is founded upon the faithfulness of our parents’ parents and generations long past. Let us not forget that there are no spiritual grandchildren in the Kingdom of God. We are either Christians because we are dedicated followers of Jesus … or we are like the mixed multitude that infiltrated the nation of Israel as they wandered through the wilderness reeking havoc on everything God was trying to do.

Paul has been tame up to this point in his letter. That will change with the next verses. Be ready to have your complacency challenged.

-=+=-

Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and our brother Sosthenes, to the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ—their Lord and ours: Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. - - 1 Corinthians 1:1-3 (NIV)

I have thought and prayed long and hard about this series. One part of me is anxious to return to the “saddle” and get on with writing. Another part has enjoyed the time off and wants to remain “lazy”. The third part wants to cut and run since the text is all of First Corinthians! I can assure you of this: by the time I am finished … and I will do my utmost best to stay true to God’s Word … most of you will have asked to be removed from the Verse of the Day mailing and disavow the day you ever heard of me.

First Corinthians is written for the people of Corinth, but the message could have been written for the American church. Paul is addressing eleven subjects of concern. Four of them are his concerns concerning the Corinthian church. The remaining seven are answering the questions the Corinthian Christians are asking the great Apostle. This study will be neither easy nor awe inspiring, but it will be informative and … at least I pray … life changing. Hang on, folks. First Corinthians is on the way.

As we begin our study, it is important to know a bit about it and Corinth. Paul is the author. He is writing a letter to a church with problems. He reminds the readers who they are. They are the sanctified ones. To put that in modern English, they are the people who have been chosen by God and set aside for His purposes. They are not only saved; they are holy. This has all come to them at the expense of Jesus’ sacrifice, death, and resurrection.

Paul greets the Corinthians much as he does most other believers. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace is God’s unearned favor, love, and undying devotion. Peace is what we all desire: rest from the wars and storms that assail us, often on a daily basis. The letter is a response to seven problems the Corinthians asked Paul to resolve. But Paul has his own issues with the Corinthians. We will discuss all of this as time goes by.

Corinth, the city-state, was a major commercial hub. Goods from the east would travel by ship to the eastern port of Corinth, travel across a few miles of land on rail (the ships were actually unloaded, lifted out of the water, reloaded and transported across he landmass through Corinth) and then offloaded at Corinth’s western port and set on its way to Rome. This was done because of dangerous waters south of Corinth. It was a safety issue.

This process made Corinth a major center for commerce, education, religious ardor, and ultimately wealth. Corinth was a relatively new city in Paul’s day, having been destroyed then rebuilt by Rome. In the process, Corinth was repopulated by people brought from Rome. Most of the citizens became wealthy with “new” money. They had arrived poor or “middle class” and were now living a life of great leisure, luxury, and licentiousness. The popular gods and goddesses were sexually oriented. It is reported that the temple of Aphrodite at one time employed over 1000 temple prostitutes so that men could worship this sensual goddess.

Thus, we can see that Corinth was a city full of temptation and sin. Is this beginning to sound familiar? Do you know a land that has similar qualities. We will see how all of this fits into our study as time progresses. As for now, hang onto your seats. Paul promises a rocky ride.

-=+=-

Harley

c. 2006 Harley E. Hudson

If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@sbcglobal.net and request a free subscription.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 42 --- 28 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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In today's TOURBUS, read about Internet Classics -- the sites that I consider required viewing for all netizens. Also, learn how to debunk Urban Legends and Hoaxes, surf safely with a wi-fi connection and repair a damaged Windows system. Read on!

+---------------------------------------+

---------------------------------
Going Viral - Internet Classics
---------------------------------

Ever since the Web went graphical in the early 90's, there have been people motivated to create websites that exist only to be amusing, annoying or completely useless. And like a car wreck, we just can't keep ourselves from looking at these things... and telling all our friends. I consider these Internet Classics required viewing. They're part of Internet lore and legend, and everyone should see all of them at least once.

* Go ahead... press The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything. Useless since 1994, the RBBTDDA is one of the first websites to go viral, meaning that it became well-known by word of mouth. http://www.pixelscapes.com/spatulacity/button.htm

* Evil Conspiracy Unmasked! All Your Base Are Belong To Us reveals proof of a conspiracy so large and so complicated that well... you know. Zero Wing, a poorly translated Japanese video game for the Sega Genesis console, served as the inspiration for this phenom. http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy.com

Read all 11 items in Internet Classics - Part 1 here:

http://askbobrankin.com/internet_classics.html

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Urban Legends and Hoaxes
--------------------------

Is the government planning to implement an email tax? Does lipstick contain dangerous levels of lead? Will Microsoft send you money for forwarding an email? Do you need to add your cell phone number to a "Do Not Call" directory? And should you boycott Pepsi because their new cans are offensive?

No, Nyet, Nein, Non, and Nope!

All of the above are FALSE. Some of the rumors, urban legends and hoaxes you receive in your email inbox may have a ring of truth, but how can you be sure? Learn how to avoid a knee "jerk" reaction -- get the scoop on these hoaxes and tips for debunking on your own:
http://askbobrankin.com/urban_legends_and_hoaxes.html

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Surfing Safely in Starbucks
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If you use wireless Internet access in public places like Starbucks or the airport, you should take some simple precautions to make sure you're not broadcasting your passwords and other personal info to others in the vicinity...

A few months ago I met with a group of Internet professionals, all of us sporting laptops with wireless connections. One attendee put up a slide on the overhead showing logins and passwords from a dozen other attendees. Needless to say, many jaws dropped open.

Learn how to surf safely on a wireless connection, whether you're in a public place or your home...
http://askbobrankin.com/is_public_wifi_access_safe.html

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Missing or Damaged Files
--------------------------

A reader asked me this question about a damaged Windows system:

> "When my uncle's PC is powered up he gets message CAN'T LOAD > MSMGR32.DLL - is there a way to keep the message from displaying, > or do I need to reload the whole system?"

If Windows is whining about a missing or damaged file, you don't need to reload the system. That's a rather drastic measure, since you'd have to re-install all your software, as well as apply all the security patches. Even on a fast system with a high-speed Internet connection, that would take hours.

Here are some tips on replacing a missing or damaged Windows system file:
http://askbobrankin.com/missing_or_damaged_dll_files.html

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Fiddling While Your Hard Drive Crashes
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In last week's TOURBUS, I wrote about the Click of Doom, and other sounds that hard drives make when they're about to self-destruct. After reading that article, long-time reader MmeMoxie sent me a link to something absolutely hilarious -- music based on the sound clips of hard drive failures. Read the original "Click of Doom" article and the follow up here:
http://askbobrankin.com/fiddling_while_drive_crashes.html

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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin

+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Al Hawijah, Iraq, on Feb. 22, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during patrol operations. All four soldiers were assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 327th Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky. Killed were:
01. Staff Sgt. Gregson G. Gourley, 38, of Salt Lake City, Utah.
02. Sgt. Rickey E. Jones, 21, of Kokomo, Ind.
03. Pfc. Christopher L. Marion, 20, of Pineville, Mo.
04. Pfc. Allan A. Morr, 21, of Shiawassee County, Mich.

The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died near Balad, Iraq, on Feb. 22, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their Bradley Fighting Vehicle. All three soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo. Killed were:
05. Staff Sgt. Curtis T. Howard II, 32, of Ann Arbor, Mich.
06. Sgt. Gordon F. Misner II, 23, of Sparks, Nev.
07. Spc. Thomas J. Wilwerth, 21, of Mastic, N.Y.

08. Sgt. Jessie Davila, 29, of Greensburg, Kan., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 20, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Davila was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 137th Infantry, Lawrence, Kan.

09. Lance Cpl. Adam J. Vanalstine, 21, of Superior, Wis., died Feb. 25, from an improvised explosive device in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Baghdad, Iraq on Feb. 26, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during patrol operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Squadron, 71st Cavalry, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division of Fort Drum, N.Y. Killed were:
10. Spc. Clay P. Farr, 21, of Bakersfield, Calif.
11. Spc. Joshua U. Humble, 21, of Appleton, Maine.

12. Sgt. Dimitri Muscat, 21, of Aurora, Colo., died in Balad, Iraq, on Feb. 24, of non-combat related injuries sustained earlier that day in Samarra, Iraq. Muscat was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.

13. Pvt. Joshua F. Powers, 21, of Skiatook, Okla., died in Baghdad, Iraq on Feb. 24, from a non-combat related injury. Powers was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

14. Spc. Joshua M. Pearce, 21, of Guymon, Okla., died in Mosul, Iraq, on Feb. 26, when an improvised explosive device detonated near Stryker military vehicle during patrol operations. Pearce was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 172nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

15. Staff Sgt. Christopher J. Schornak, 28, of Hoover, Ala., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 26, when his dismounted patrol was engaged by enemy forces using small arms fire. Schornak was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 12th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

16. Pfc. Benjamin C. Schuster, 21, of Williamsville, N.Y., died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq on Feb. 25, from a gunshot wound. Schuster was assigned to the Army National Guard's 2nd Battalion, 101st Cavalry Regiment, Buffalo, N.Y.

17. Master Sgt. Emigdio E. Elizarraras, 37, of Pico Rivera, Calif., died in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan on Feb. 28, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during a reconnaissance mission. Elizarraras was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, N.C.

18. Pfc. Tina M. Priest, 20, of Austin, Texas, died in Taji, Iraq on March 1, from non-combat related injury. Priest was assigned to the 4th Support Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Divison, Fort Hood, Texas.

19. Sgt. Joshua V. Youmans, 26, of Flushing, Mich., died at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas, on March 1, from injuries sustained in Habbaniyah, Iraq on Nov. 21, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. Youmans was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion,125th Infantry Regiment, Saginaw, Mich.

20. Lance Cpl. John J. Thornton, 22, of Phoenix, Ariz., died Feb. 25 of wounds received as a result of an enemy mortar attack in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making my Anniversary Present list. (Well, I did get a new medicin bag for my birthday.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Acts 3:16 Acts 2:12-16 Rom 8:15-16 Rom 16:17-18 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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Saturday, March 04, 2006

Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Nose Ring

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