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Bug's Bleat - - GCF: The Hokey Pokey (Shakespearean Style)
The Internet Version of The Ed Sullivan Show
We never let the truth stand in the way of a Good Story"
Volume 8, Issue 08 Friday, February 24, 2006
Hello ALL,
Magnolia Christian Center’s second Men’s Prayer Breakfast of 2006 will be held in the Life Center at 7:45 am on Sunday, February 26. All men and teenage sons are welcome to attend.
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Vanessa and Jimmy are moving into the Cullen AOG parsonage this weekend. Annette is keeping Ethan while Dusty and I keep Josiah.
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Clark Thomas, Arkansas DOL speaker who will be at Albemarle March 1&2, Bother Paul visiting with Cullen Assembly of God members, Jimmy and Vanessa being prayed for and Dusty at an “Upward” ball game.
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Shannon Voigt has completed her Taylor cookbook and shared an MSWord copy with us. It looks like a whole lot (142 pages) of good cooking.
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Speaking of cooking, we saw this in the news today: “Potato Eaters May Have Higher Diabetes Risk” - - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ - - In a long-term study of nearly 85,000 US women, researchers at Harvard found that those with the highest potato intake had a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes. The link was strongest among obese women, who are already at increased risk of the disease. Potatoes have a high Glycemic index, meaning they cause rapid rises in blood sugar that, over time, can damage the pancreatic cells that produce insulin.
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My favorite Winter Olympics sport is curling. And today, the U.S. men won curling bronze
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We extend our sincere sympathy to Mike and Phyllis Skinner in the recent death of her father.
Funeral services for Phillip Mitcham will be Saturday, 2/25, at 1 p.m. at New Beginnings Baptist Church in El Dorado.
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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We have tickets for the "Friends For Pat Antoon Benefit" Steak Dinner and Entertainment on Friday, March 10 @ 7 pm at the Magnolia National Guard Armory. Tickets are $25 each.
There will also be a Silent Auction and Rifle Drawing Announcement at the dinner.
For more information call 234-6684 or 562-3748
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The laissez faire approach taken by the United States in developing the nation's broadband network has failed. Not only have we fallen since 2000 from number three to number 16 in the number of high-speed Internet subscribers per capita, but there's a good chance we'll fall out of the top 20 this year.
The reason is our government's failure to oversee the building of the broadband infrastructure and to provide the subsidies needed to get as many people online as possible. Unlike other developed nations, we haven't taken an approach that would reflect a belief that universal access to the high-speed Internet is a critical component of a competitive economy.
Instead, we've let private industry do all the heavy lifting, which means many rural areas are underserved and a significant percentage of U.S. households can't afford broadband. In addition, the development process threatens to be derailed by squabbling between telecom and cable providers that want to charge for use of the networks they've built and Internet companies that believe the Internet should remain open without any toll roads.
http://update.internetweek.cmp.com/cgi-bin4/DM/y/eucC0GOs7F0G4X0EHRR0EK
Many of these issues are covered in today's InternetWeek feature by freelancer Christopher Heun. In the story, experts say telephone and cable companies aren't giving their customers enough for their money, in comparison to what people get in Japan, South Korea or Canada.
http://update.internetweek.cmp.com/cgi-bin4/DM/y/eucC0GOs7F0G4X0EJEO0E5
And the reason has nothing to do with technology. It comes down to politics and policy, and the government's failure to do its job to protect the national interest.
Give the story a read, and then drop me an email to let me know what you think. I'll use some of the responses of people who disagree with me in a future newsletter, so please include your name and hometown.
mailto:antoneg@pacbell.net
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Americans work more, seem to accomplish less - Study finds technology partly to blame, workers stressed out Unlike a decade ago, U.S. workers are bombarded with e-mail, computer messages, cell phone calls, voice mails and the like, research showed. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11509049
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
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www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.24
Regular was selling for $1.88 in Conway Tuesday. Exactly how many refineries are in that area?
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Fried Rice - - Annette McClellan
Ingredients:
4 cups cooked converted or parboiled rice (precooked and cooled.)
Water chestnuts
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
2 tablespoons finely grated carrot
2 eggs, beaten
½ cup diced onion
2 tablespoons soy sauce
Salt
Pepper
Method:
Cook rice following instructions on package (Bring 2 cups water to a boil, add rice and a dash of salt, reduce heat and simmer in covered saucepan for 20 minutes). Pour rice into a large bowl to let it cool in the refrigerator. Rice must be cold. Cut up chicken, pork, shrimp or ham (or all four), roll in cornstarch and stir-fry in a little oil. Add soy sauce to taste and set aside. Cut up onions and sauté in a little oil. Add cold rice and push to the side of the pan. Scramble the eggs in the pan. Then mix into rice and onions. Add peas, grated carrots, water chestnuts and whatever else you want. Add more soy sauce as desired and cook rice for 6-8 minutes over heat, stirring often.
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BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
The Elephant in the Living Room
The New Zealand Abortion Study
February 24, 2006
Professor David Fergusson, director of the Christchurch Health and Development Study in New Zealand, is firmly pro-choice. But I suspect the good professor might understand if I point out that, lately, he’s been getting a little taste of what it’s like to be pro-life.
Fergusson and two colleagues, L. John Horwood and Elizabeth Ridder, conducted a study on abortion and mental health. And they didn’t find what they expected to find. Their report states, “Those having an abortion [under age 25] had elevated rates of subsequent mental health problems including depression, anxiety, suicidal behaviors and substance use disorders.” Their report goes on to say, “The findings suggest that abortion in young women may be associated with increased risks of mental health problems.”
Talk about irony. We’re used to hearing about the “mental health” aspects of abortion, of course—but usually, we’re being told that a woman’s mental health is in danger if she doesn’t have an abortion. At the very least, this new study forces pro-choicers to question the all-too-common assumption, an assumption that now is putting young women in danger.
Not that most pro-choicers want to hear this, of course—and particularly not now, with the Supreme Court just having agreed to hear an appeal of the partial-birth abortion ban case, where the issue turns on exceptions about the mother’s health. This is why I said that Dr. Fergusson is learning something about what it’s like to be pro-life. This well-regarded researcher and his team normally have no trouble at all getting their work published. But in this case they had to go to four different journals before they could find one that would publish their study. Fergusson has told interviewers that he knows it’s because his findings are too “controversial”—so controversial that New Zealand’s Abortion Supervisory Committee warned him against publishing his work, not for scientific reasons, but for political ones.
Well, Fergusson himself dislikes the idea that pro-lifers will use his work, and he knows that his research could have a devastating effect on the abortion movement in his country. In New Zealand, as the Herald explained, “Every abortion requires two ‘certifying consultants’ to approve it on certain grounds, usually that a woman’s mental health would be [otherwise] endangered.” You can see what the implications would be if the greater “mental health” risk turns out to be having the abortion.
My hat is off to Dr. Fergusson. Despite the controversy, and despite the fact that his results disagreed with his own beliefs, Fergusson was determined to publish them anyway. And he told the Herald, “It verges on scandalous that a surgical procedure that is performed on over one in 10 women has been so poorly researched and evaluated, given the debates about the psychological consequences of abortion.”
That, my friends, is a true professional and a true scientist speaking. It’s people like this who give science a good name. He’s not willing to ignore the elephant in the middle of the room just because no one else wants to talk about it. Instead, he insists on getting the truth out in the open. And that’s what science ought to be all about—not just in New Zealand, but here.
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For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: The Cost of ‘Choice’: Women Evaluate the Impact of Abortion by Erika Bachiochi, ed.
David M. Fergusson, Ph.D., et al., “Abortion in Young Women and Subsequent Mental Health,” Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry 47, no. 1 (2006): 16-24. Adobe Acrobat required.
Ruth Hill, “Abortion Researcher Confounded by Study,” New Zealand Herald, 5 January 2006.
Julie Robotham, “Abortion Linked to Mental Risk,” The Age, 3 January 2006.
David C. Reardon, “Abortion Causes Mental Disorders: New Zealand Study May Require Doctors to Do Fewer Abortions,” LifeIssues.net, 9 February 2005.
Ruth Pollard, “Questions Raised Over Abortion Study’s Findings,” Sydney Morning Herald, 4 January 2006.
“‘Evidence Doesn’t Matter’—APA Spokesperson Says of Abortion Complications,” press release, Elliot Institute, 17 February 2006.
Learn more about the Silent No More Awareness Campaign and Operation Outcry, two efforts dedicated to spreading the truth about abortion and offering post-abortive women hope and healing.
Gina Holland, “Supreme Court Plunges into Abortion Debate,” Forbes, 21 February 2006.
Warren Throckmorton, “Uninformed Consent: Abortion's Mental Health Consequences,” BreakPoint Online, 20 January 2006.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 041015, “Politics First, Women Second: The Illness They Won’t Talk About.”
Peter Kreeft, Three Approaches to Abortion (Ignatius Press, 2002).
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
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Words of the Week:
imbue: to dye; to instill profoundly.
canard: an unfounded or false report.
probity: complete and confirmed integrity.
titivate: to smarten up; to spruce.
jovial: merry; joyous; jolly.
salutary: beneficial; also, healthful.
alacrity: a cheerful readiness, willingness, or promptness.
munificent: very generous.
from Dictionary.Com
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"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov
"There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere..." - Jane Austen
"I am convinced that the best service a retired general can perform is to turn in his tongue along with his suit, and to mothball his opinions." - Gen Omar N Bradley
"I see the mind of the 5-year-old as a volcano with two vents: destructiveness and creativeness." - Sylvia Ashton-Warner
"To be interested in the changing seasons is, in this middling zone, a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring." - George Santayana
"Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can; all of them make me laugh." - W H Auden
"Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love." - Marc Chagall
"Be of love (a little) more careful than of anything." - E E Cummings
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BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
Landmark Study in UK Shows Faith Plays Significant Role in Well-being of Youth
Jonathan Wynne-Jones/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 24, 2006)
Teenagers who belong to a faith community were much more likely to feel that their life had a sense of purpose.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2167
Bill to Ban Abortion Passe s in South Dakota Senate - Historic Legislation Now Goes to Governor Rounds for Signing
Rev. Patrick J. Mahoney / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 23, 2006)
"Our hope and prayer now is that Governor Michael Rounds will sign this bill and send a clear message to the other states to affirm the dignity of life."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2163
Black History and the Christian Faith Entwined - a NJ Church Celebrates Roots of Faith
John Vandiver / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 22, 2006)
"Many historians, black and white, credit the Christian faith of the slaves as being the single most important factor in unifying and sustaining them as a people"
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2159
U.S. Supreme Court Agrees to Take on Partial Birth Abortion Case
Matt Staver / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 21, 2006)
"Today marks the first action of the High Court in a new direction."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2154
Nationwide Ministry Prays for Leaders on President's Day - Political Affiliation Not an Issue
Jason Davis/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 20, 2006)
"We feel that we have a biblical mandate to pray for those in authority"
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2150
Second "Friendship" Festival Planned in Morocco
Justin Camacho/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 17, 2006)
Creation Fest co-founders Harry Thomas and Tim Landis are planning Friendship Fest 2006 from May 5-7 in Marrakech, Morocco.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2144
Canada's New Conservative Government Moves to Raise Age of Consent
Chris Wiebe / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 17, 2006)
"We want to protect young people from adult sexual predators."
As part of the "law and order" platform Canada's newly elected government ran on only a month ago, a move has been made to increase the national age of sexual consent from the current 14 to 16-years-old. The measure would include a "close-in-age exemption."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2139
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GCF: The Hokey Pokey (Shakespearean Style)
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Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List)
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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*The Hokey Pokey*
Original Lyrics
Put your left foot in,
Your left foot out,
Your left foot in,
And shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around
That's what it's all about.
*The Hokey Pokey*
Shakespearean Style
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt.
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
(-:][:-)
Name Spelling
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Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day)
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to spell their name out loud.
When she came to a young Pakistani boy and asked his name, he replied, "Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee."
"How do you spell that?" asked the teacher.
"My mother helps me," said the little boy.
(-:][:-)
Real Estimating!
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Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld)
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,108769,00.html
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Programmer at this retail chain gets an assignment to add some functionality to four reporting applications. One change request is to add passwords to one of the four applications -- but just one.
"Just doing one sounded suspicious to me," says the programmer. "So I decided to code the password logic in a separate module for easy reuse. I only had to add one line of code to the existing executable."
Fast-forward six months: The new versions are installed in a handful of stores for beta testing before they'll roll out to 1,000 stores nationwide. Programmer's boss drops by his cubicle to tell him that the users like the password function, but they wanted it on all four applications. How long would it take to add it to the other three?
He calculates: add one line of code, compile, do some testing. That's maybe a few hours' work if everything goes as planned -- which it seldom does.
"Two days," he tells his boss.
She's skeptical. "Are you sure?" she says. "Let's say one week."
Programmer shrugs. Boss continues: "Three applications, one week each, I'll tell them three weeks."
He tries to explain that he estimated two days for all three applications. She's still skeptical, but after he assures her that with code reuse he really can finish in two days, boss compromises: She'll tell them it'll be done in one week.
"I went to lunch, came back and updated all three in about an hour," says the programmer. "The module worked great. I walked over to my boss's office to tell her the news. She asked if I was sure it worked. I assured her it did.
"She had already sent the estimate to her manager and, to be safe, she told him two weeks. She asked me not to send it to QA for another week. We didn't want to look too good.
"I had a chuckle and started working on something else. A couple of hours later, she forwarded me a note from her manager to the business client. He had padded it another week. I now had three weeks to finish my already completed changes.
"I worked on other things for a week, recompiled them so the date was recent, and got a big attaboy for finishing so promptly."
(-:][:-)
Time To Go
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Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer.
"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."
"I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
(-:][:-)
Wrong Advertising
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Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," said Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well," interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, 'Play Golf Next Sunday'."
_ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] You Know It's Time to Diet When...
- You dance and it makes the band skip.
- You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
- You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
- You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
- Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
- You run away, and your picture takes up all four sides of the milk carton.
- You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
- You could sell shade.
- Your blood type is Ragu.
- You need an appointment to attend an "open house."
Received from Troy Ark.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Carpet Installers Lump
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Received from Troy Ark.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"Oh, I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom!
Received from Jack N Walker.
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[GCFL.net] Worker Ants
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"
One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a union."
Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
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Stun gun ..... ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 33rd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two (itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nostrils on fire, fingers nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-GUN.. that hurt like all get-out!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nostrils were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my fingers?
I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
(Name withheld for obvious reasons....)
Thanks to Steve Downey
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
*In the Bag*
I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in an airsickness courtesy bag.
After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?"
I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."
(-:][:-)
*Dream Woman*
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."
"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.
"We hadn't started eating yet."
(-:][:-)
*Taste It*
One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!"
WAITER: "Yes,sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which the customer replied triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"
(-:][:-)
*Getting Fat*
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy"
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"
(-:][:-)
*Flight Instructions*
During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The solid-steel weights were bright yellow and marked "14,000 lbs."
But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flight."
Eye Laugh
"Cat Baptism"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=214
"Love Hours"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=239
"Military Cutback"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=243
"Chamaeleon Slice"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=244
"Spot the Giraffe"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=245
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/bashed_attorney.html - - Diary Of A Bashed Attorney "Why did I go to law school? Work is unbearable, I have no free time, and I'm expected to "make rain" at parties. To somehow extract legal fees from revelers who sidle up, drinks in one hand, hors d'oeuvres in the other, looking for free advice. My reward? Lawyer jokes..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Merck Veterinary Manual - - http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp - - The single most comprehensive electronic reference for animal care information. Includes over 12,000 indexed topics and over 1200 illustrations. Rapidly search by topic, species, specialty, disease, and keyword using advanced search.
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Traditions of the Sun - - http://www.traditionsofthesun.org/ - - Our shared interest in better understanding the mysteries of the Sun, forms a common bond between those who built the great structures of Chaco Canyon and the Yucatan, and people today. At this NASA site, you will learn about the ancestral Native Americans in New Mexico and the ancient Maya in the Yucatan and gain a better understanding of the active Sun, and its importance to them and, to us.
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Bartleby.com - - http://www.bartleby.com/ - - The preeminent Internet publisher of literature, reference, and verse providing students, researchers and the intellectually curious with unlimited access to books and information on the web, free of charge.
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Britannica Concise Encyclopedia - - http://concise.britannica.com/ - - A one-volume online encyclopedia that includes 25,000 short entries.
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National Geographic News - - http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/ - - This is a daily news service produced by the popular magazine. Its focus is on the geographic aspects of world news, and it can for example on a particular day report on earthquake studies in Tokyo, large catfish in Thailand and the salvage of a ship on the Carolina coast that may just possibly be the last ship of the pirate Blackbeard.
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Library of Congress - - http://www.loc.gov/ - - The Library of Congress is the nation's oldest federal cultural institution and serves as the research arm of Congress. It is also the largest library in the world, with more than 130 million items on approximately 530 miles of bookshelves. The collections include more than 29 million books and other printed materials, 2.7 million recordings, 12 million photographs, 4.8 million maps, and 58 million manuscripts.
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A Primer on Gasoline Prices - - http://www.eia.doe.gov/neic/brochure/oil_gas/primer/primer.htm - - This Primer has been created by the Energy Information Administration with the U.S. Department of Energy. Gasoline, one of the main products refined from crude oil, accounts for just about 16 percent of the energy consumed in the United States. The primary use for gasoline is in automobiles and light trucks. Gasoline also fuels boats, recreational vehicles, and various farm and other equipment. While gasoline is produced year-round, extra volumes are made in time for the summer driving season. The cost to produce and deliver gasoline to consumers includes the cost of crude oil to refiners, refinery processing costs, marketing and distribution costs, and finally the retail station costs and taxes. The prices paid by consumers at the pump reflect these costs, as well as the profits (and sometimes losses) of refiners, marketers, distributors, and retail station owners.
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How Far Is It? - - http://www.indo.com/distance/ - - This site uses data from the US Census and a supplementary list of cities around the world to find the latitude and longitude of two places, and then calculates the distance between them (as the crow flies). It also provides a map showing the two places, using the Xerox PARC Map Server.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 21, 2006
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.
Special Report: Playing with Fire
It's a troubling statistic, only two out of every seven homes has a working smoke detector; and with more than half of all house fires happening at night, News 2's Brad Franko tells us in this special report; without one you're playing with fire:
It's your worst nightmare. A fire while you sleep. Your only protection is one of the most neglected pieces of equipment in your home, if you have one at all.
"That's your life right there.. That gives you a chance." - Charleston Fire Chief Rusty Thomas
The numbers show, not enough people give themselves that chance. According to the state fire marshall's office, 64 people died in structure fires across the state in 2005. 19 of those had smoke alarms; only seven of those were working. The most common reason: no battery!
To illustrate just how effective smoke detectors are, if used properly we enlisted help from the City of Charleston Fire Department. We set a couch on fire inside the departments training tower. It smoldered for a 47 seconds before the alarm, placed on the wall just below the ceiling went off.
"The smoke will get you long before the fire will." - Chief Rusty Thomas
I stayed inside with an infrared camera. For me, it takes all of a minute and 45 seconds before I need the assistance of my airpack. After the door was closed, the thick black smoke continues to build and the temperature rises above 1000 degrees.
Obviously in here we have one couch that's burning... In a regular house you're going to have all kinds of stuff that's going to go up... Now we've lost all visibility and it's real hot. And three minutes into the burn; anyone inside would have very little chance of getting out alive.
Sharon Walker knows first hand how quickly things can go bad in a fire; her daughter and two grand-daughters were killed in a mobile home fire in Whitesville on January 27th.
"There was smoke around the door, and the windows were blacked out." - Sharon Walker
Fire officials they didn't have a smoke detector; but if they did, the outcome may have been different.
Our fire at the training tower is now 3:30 minutes old and the smoke detector has melted and stopped working. Upstairs is a different story, up there still no signs of the inferno on the first floor.
It's not until that downstairs door is opened that smoke triggers the alarm, making escape through the first floor all but impossible.
It was a good three to five minutes that the fire was burning before the second floor alarm went off... And that's a problem don't you think...
Isn't that the catch 22 you sleep with your doors closed avoiding the smoke, but you can't hear the detector unless it's in the right place (Brad asking Chief Rusty Thomas).
"That's exactly right you got to have them in the right place" - Chief Rusty Thomas
In a one story home: the chief recommends putting that detector near the bedrooms.
In a two story home: you're going to need more than one. Ideally in a two story two bedroom home; six smoke detectors would provide widespread coverage. One on the first floor. One in the living room, the hallway, and kitchen. And on the second floor one in each bedroom and one at the top of the stairwell.
"I'm glad you did this story because this is exactly what happens; we had a regular couch fire and in 15-45 seconds that first alarm went off." - Chief Rusty Thomas
15-45 seconds that could have saved Sharon Walkers family.
"I urge everyone to get a smoke detector and make sure it's working... Maybe we wouldn't be going through this if that was the case." - Sharon Walker
"If we can save one life then that detector has done it's job... Give yourself a chance by having a working detector." Chief Rusty Thomas
They're not that expensive.
"Well we give them away for free." - Chief Rusty Thomas
Bottom line; without one you're playing with fire!
If you have a smoke detector but want to improve your fire protection; here are some tips:
1. There's safety in numbers; put at least one on each floor.
2. For further protection; have them hard wired, with a battery back-up.
3. Test them at least once a month.
4. Make sure you keep your detectors free of dust..
5. Replace the batteries twice per year and replace the detector every ten years.
6. And remember a smoke detector is useless if you don't know how to get out. Develop escape plans and practice them at least twice per year.
Thank you to the City of Charleston Fire Department for their assistance with this story.
Brad Franko
Count on 2 News
Thursday, February 9, 2006
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 20, 2006
God's Way
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.
A preacher and his wife from NY were visiting my parents (old friends of theirs from childhood). I stopped by and we discussed things from philosophy to affairs of the world today.
The preacher told his story. A teacher was in front of the class disputing the existence of God. This was an evening class where mature people attended, including a soldier just back from Iraq. The teacher said "If there is a God, I am begging to see proof of this. If there is a God, for proof He needs to knock me out of this chair I am sitting in right now." Five minutes passed and nothing happened. The teacher felt he had proved his point but then said " If there is a God, He must knock me out of this chair within 10 minutes." Two minutes passed and nothing happened, everyone kind of looking around. Then the soldier back from Iraq walked up to the teacher's desk and hit him right between the eyes, knocking him completely out of the chair and his senses.
The teacher woke up after being knocked out and asked the soldier," What did you do that for?" The Soldier replied, " God sent me to help you see the light, but for His mercy in sending me instead of coming Himself, you would now be dead."
Thought about morals of this story and want to share them below:
God does work in mysterious ways.
What you beg for, you may get - make sure you beg and pray for what you really, really want.
All negative thoughts you may have, at home, play, or work, need to be carefully examined and dealt with. There is a silver lining in every cloud. Just look at the Nightly News; you are likely better off than you think.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 15, 2006
Heart Attacks
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.
Women (and men) should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.
Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 14, 2006
It's As Easy As ABC
ABCs of Preventing Heart Disease, Stroke and Heart Attack
Sounds simple doesn't it? So why are coronary heart disease and stroke the No. 1 and No. 3 killers of Americans? One reason is undeniably a lack of commitment to a heart-healthy lifestyle. Your lifestyle is not only your best defense against heart disease and stroke, it's also your responsibility.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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A kid asked Jesus... how much do u love me? Jesus replied," I love you this much." and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us.
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Rural firefighters stood by and watched a fire destroy a garage and a vehicle because the property owner had not paid membership dues.
Bibaldo Rueda - who was injured battling the flames Monday - offered to pay the dues as the fire blazed away, but the Monett Rural Fire Department does not have a policy for on-the-spot billing, Sheriff's Detective Robert Evenson said.
Fire Chief Ronnie Myers defended the no-pay, no-aid policy, saying the membership-based organization could not survive if people thought the department would respond for free. The department said it will fight a fire without question if a life is believed to be in danger.
Rueda used a garden hose and buckets to fight the flames while firefighters stood by on the road, watching in case the blaze spread to neighboring properties owned by members. The fire eventually burned itself out.
Rueda said no one told him about the dues policy when he moved in 1 1/2 years ago.
~
What do you think?
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The Little Red Hen (Modern Version)
Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.
She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread.
"Who will help me bake the bread! ?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves"
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then a government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle,"
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free.
And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT?
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Row boat competition
Unfortunately this is how most American companies do things..........
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Ohio River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practice and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
And that is the way it is.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 41 --- 23 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus --
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Rockets, Badgers and Bananaphones
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, the clog dance capital of north central Paraguay. :P
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Riding Rockets
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Most of my brushes with greatness happened while I was working at Space Camp. There I met both George Bush [41] and Ted Kennedy. I drank a beer with "Rocket Boys" author and NASA engineer Homer Hickam and I hung out in the ward room with Richard M. Nixon, the world- famous Space Camp counselor who happened to share his name with the 37th President of the United States. I even met a few astronauts, including my favorite astronaut of all time: Mike Mullane.
Mike's son Pat, along with his future son-in-law Steve "Rooster" Wade, and I shared a counselor's room in Bay 8 of the "The Bubble," Space Camp's dormitory. Between Bays 7 and 8 was an upstairs storeroom where we stored the freeze dried astronaut dinners we would occasionally inflict upon the unsuspecting campers. While the campers did not particularly care for this arid astro-delicacy, the field mice around The Bubble couldn't get enough of the stuff. Soon, every mouse critter within 100 miles was making a beeline to The Bubble with a requisite pit stop in Bay 8. The morning that Steve Wade awoke to see a mouse on chest -- a mouse that Pat and I lovingly named "Throdor, King of the Mutant Rats" -- was a particularly vivid [and humorous] episode in my life.
Of course, Space Camp management -- as management anywhere is wont to do -- downplayed the incident and refused to do anything to dis-invite our furry Bubblemates. Astronaut Mike Mullane came to our rescue. A few weeks after hearing about Steve's mouse encounter, Mike sent the three of us his astronaut photograph with the following inscription:
"To Throdor, King of the Mutant Rats,
Here's hoping all your dreams come true in upstairs bay 8.
-- Mike Mullane, Astronaut"
Of course, Pat, Steve, and I immediately posted the photograph on our door. A few days later, while on a tour of The Bubble with the Director of the Space and Rocket Center, the Chairman of Nippon Steel saw the photograph, turned to the Director, and asked "Who's Throdor?"
Problem solved.
Not only is Mike Mullane my favorite astronaut, he's also one heck of an exterminator.
What does all of this have to do with today's Tourbus post. Well, Mike Mullane has written a new book titled "Riding Rockets : The Outrageous Tales of a Space Shuttle Astronaut" [US$26.00 hardcover / ISBN 0743276825.] I know we don't do book reviews that often, but I highly recommend that you buy multiple copies of "Riding Rockets." This book is THAT good. Mike holds no punches, giving you an inside peek at the thrills, fears, inside jokes, and unimaginable frustrations of the United States astronauts corps.
The publisher Simon & Schuster posted an excerpt from chapter one:
http://www.simonsays.com/content/book.cfm?sid=33&pid=514931&agid=2
and you can read an exceptional, in-depth review of the book at:
http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewnews.html?id=1090
The review sums up this book much better than I can. And I am not just saying that because of Throdor.
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Meme Review: Badgers and Bananaphones
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Speaking of badgers [huh?], I want to spend some time over the next couple of months re-introducing to different internet phenomena, the stuff that was once really, really popular and then quickly fell out of favor. Think of this as an internet pop culture history tour. Our first stop is Jonti Picking's "Badger Badger Badger" Flash video at
http://weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers/
As with most internet phenomena, don't bother looking for a point. It's just badgers, mushrooms, and snakes. Over and over again. Study this video carefully. It's important, especially if you want to fully experience the joy that is
http://www.lemonizer.com/banana/
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Volume 11, Number 38 --- 07 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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In today's TOURBUS, a supercool tool that lets you zoom in on your house from cyberspace and view the price tag. Also in this issue, cookies demystified, the Click of Doom, and solutions for other annoying problems. Read on!
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What's Your House Worth?
--------------------------
Ever wonder what your house (or one that's for sale) is really worth? Getting a property valuation from a realtor or appraiser can be a hassle, and might cost several hundred dollars. Now in just a few clicks, you can learn the estimated value of almost any house in the United States, and it won't cost you a nickel.
http://askbobrankin.com/house_values.html
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Eat Your Cookies
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I often get email from people who misunderstand or fear browser cookies. Today someone asked me about the "Google cookie is spyware" rumor, which is total rubbish. Others ask how to turn off cookies because their anti-virus or anti-spyware program falsely identifies them as security threats.
Should you really worry about cookies? I've written a a guide that tells you everything need to know about these tasty little critters. Read on for a closer look at the good, the bad, and the crumbly aspects of web browser cookies.
http://askbobrankin.com/eat_your_cookies.html
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The Click of Doom
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Is your hard drive making a clicking sound? Do you sometimes hear a repeated click-whir sound and then the computer locks up? Beware... it could be the Click of Doom!
Generally a clicking sound coming from your hard drive is a Bad Omen. It could be a harbinger of horrific hardware happenings, but it might also be something you can fix in a few seconds. If you've got "the click" read this article to find out what you should be doing ASAP!
http://askbobrankin.com/hard_drive_makes_a_clicking_sound.html
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Computer Keeps Restarting?
----------------------------
Today a reader asked me this question about a misbehaving PC:
"My PC running on Windows XP frequently restarts it self for no apparent reason. Any files or internet pages I have been working on are lost. The PC reboots to the desktop and I have to redo all my work. Any ideas please?"
There are several possible reasons why this might happen, including overheating, faulty memory, and hardware or software glitches. If this has ever happened to you, learn how to determine the cause and prevent this annoying problem.
http://askbobrankin.com/computer_restarts_itself.html
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Directory Information Overload?
---------------------------------
Sure, there are lots of online yellow pages websites. But all too often, I find it frustrating to get the phone number or address for a business or public facility. Point, click, search, wade through multiple pages of search results, drill down into confusing category headings, and MAYBE you can find that phone number. Here's good news... it just got easier to do what should be a simple task.
http://askbobrankin.com/directory_information_overload.html
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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
Have a safe and happy weekend, and we'll talk again soon.
+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Junior Charity League “Follies” Friday night - February 24, and Saturday night - February 25. ~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
The Department of Defense announced the death of eight Marines and two airmen who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. All 10 died Feb. 17, when two CH-53 helicopters crashed into the Gulf of Aden in the vicinity of Ras Siyyan, northern Djibouti, while flying a training mission in the Godoria Range area. The Marines and airmen were deployed to Djibouti as part of the Combined Joint Task Force-Horn of Africa.
The Marines were assigned to Marine Heavy Helicopter Squadron 464, Marine Air Group 29, 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing, II Marine Expeditionary Force, New River, N.C.
01. 1st Lt. Brandon R. Dronet, 33, of Erath, La.
02. Sgt. James F. Fordyce, 22, of Newton Square, Pa.
03. Lance Cpl. Samuel W. Large, Jr., 21, of Villa Rica, Ga.
04. Sgt. Donnie Leo F. Levens, 25, of Long Beach, Miss.
05. Cpl. Matthieu Marcellus, 31, of Gainesville, Fla.
06. Sgt. Jonathan E. McColley, 23, of Gettysburg, Pa.
07. Lance Cpl. Nicholas J. Sovie, 20, of Ogdensburg, N.Y.
08. Capt. Bryan D. Willard, 33, of Hummelstown, Pa.
The airmen were:
09. SrA. Alecia S. Good, 23, of Broadview Heights, Ohio. Good was assigned to the 92nd Communications Squadron, Fairchild Air Force Base,Wash.
10. Staff Sgt. Luis M. Melendez Sanchez, 33, of Bayamon, Puerto Rico. Sanchez was assigned to the 1st Communications Squadron, Langley Air Force Base, Va.
The cause of the incident is under investigation.
11. Sgt. 1st Class Amos C. Edwards, Jr., 41, of Savannah, Ga., died in Ar Rutbah, Iraq, on Feb. 17, from a non-combat related cause. Edwards was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 118th Field Artillery Regiment, 48th Brigade Combat Team, Savannah, Ga.
12. Cpt. Anthony R. Garcia, 48, of Fort Worth, Texas, died in Tikrit, Iraq, on Feb. 17, from a gun shot wound. Garcia was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment, 101st Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.
13. Sgt. Charles E. Matheny, IV, 23 of Stanwood, Wash., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 18, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Matheny was assigned to the Army's 704th Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
14. Cpl. Matthew D. Conley, 21, of Killen, Ala., died Feb. 18, when his vehicle was attacked with an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
15. Daniel J. Kuhlmeier, 30, of Omaha, Neb., died Feb. 20 in Baghdad, Iraq when the convoy he was traveling in was struck by an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to Detachment 204, 2nd Field Investigations Region, Offutt Air Force Base, Neb.
16. Staff Sgt. Jay T. Collado, 31, of Columbia, S.C., died Feb. 20 from an improvised explosive device near Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Light/Attack Helicopter Squadron-267, Marine Aircraft Group-39, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, he was attached to the U.S. Army’s 4th Infantry Division.
17. 2nd Lt. Almar L. Fitzgerald, 23, of Lexington, S.C., died Feb. 21 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany from wounds received Feb. 18 as a result of an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to the 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making your Birthday list. (Well, I didn’t expect to get everything for Christmas.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
~~~
MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
~~~
MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
~~~
MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
~~~
MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
~~~
MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
~~~
MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
~~~
Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
~~~
Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
~~~
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 1:16-17 Ezek 43:25-27 Neh 8:18-9:1-2 Luke 9:18-20 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Clark Thomas, Arkansas DOL speaker who will be at Albemarle March 1&2, Bother Paul visiting with Cullen Assembly of God members, Jimmy and Vanessa being prayed for and Dusty at an “Upward” ball game.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
We never let the truth stand in the way of a Good Story"
Volume 8, Issue 08 Friday, February 24, 2006
Hello ALL,
Magnolia Christian Center’s second Men’s Prayer Breakfast of 2006 will be held in the Life Center at 7:45 am on Sunday, February 26. All men and teenage sons are welcome to attend.
~~~~~
Vanessa and Jimmy are moving into the Cullen AOG parsonage this weekend. Annette is keeping Ethan while Dusty and I keep Josiah.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Clark Thomas, Arkansas DOL speaker who will be at Albemarle March 1&2, Bother Paul visiting with Cullen Assembly of God members, Jimmy and Vanessa being prayed for and Dusty at an “Upward” ball game.
~~~~~
Shannon Voigt has completed her Taylor cookbook and shared an MSWord copy with us. It looks like a whole lot (142 pages) of good cooking.
~~~~~
Speaking of cooking, we saw this in the news today: “Potato Eaters May Have Higher Diabetes Risk” - - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ - - In a long-term study of nearly 85,000 US women, researchers at Harvard found that those with the highest potato intake had a higher risk of developing type 2 diabetes. The link was strongest among obese women, who are already at increased risk of the disease. Potatoes have a high Glycemic index, meaning they cause rapid rises in blood sugar that, over time, can damage the pancreatic cells that produce insulin.
~~~~~
My favorite Winter Olympics sport is curling. And today, the U.S. men won curling bronze
~~~~~
We extend our sincere sympathy to Mike and Phyllis Skinner in the recent death of her father.
Funeral services for Phillip Mitcham will be Saturday, 2/25, at 1 p.m. at New Beginnings Baptist Church in El Dorado.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We have tickets for the "Friends For Pat Antoon Benefit" Steak Dinner and Entertainment on Friday, March 10 @ 7 pm at the Magnolia National Guard Armory. Tickets are $25 each.
There will also be a Silent Auction and Rifle Drawing Announcement at the dinner.
For more information call 234-6684 or 562-3748
~~~~~
The laissez faire approach taken by the United States in developing the nation's broadband network has failed. Not only have we fallen since 2000 from number three to number 16 in the number of high-speed Internet subscribers per capita, but there's a good chance we'll fall out of the top 20 this year.
The reason is our government's failure to oversee the building of the broadband infrastructure and to provide the subsidies needed to get as many people online as possible. Unlike other developed nations, we haven't taken an approach that would reflect a belief that universal access to the high-speed Internet is a critical component of a competitive economy.
Instead, we've let private industry do all the heavy lifting, which means many rural areas are underserved and a significant percentage of U.S. households can't afford broadband. In addition, the development process threatens to be derailed by squabbling between telecom and cable providers that want to charge for use of the networks they've built and Internet companies that believe the Internet should remain open without any toll roads.
http://update.internetweek.cmp.com/cgi-bin4/DM/y/eucC0GOs7F0G4X0EHRR0EK
Many of these issues are covered in today's InternetWeek feature by freelancer Christopher Heun. In the story, experts say telephone and cable companies aren't giving their customers enough for their money, in comparison to what people get in Japan, South Korea or Canada.
http://update.internetweek.cmp.com/cgi-bin4/DM/y/eucC0GOs7F0G4X0EJEO0E5
And the reason has nothing to do with technology. It comes down to politics and policy, and the government's failure to do its job to protect the national interest.
Give the story a read, and then drop me an email to let me know what you think. I'll use some of the responses of people who disagree with me in a future newsletter, so please include your name and hometown.
mailto:antoneg@pacbell.net
~~~~~
Americans work more, seem to accomplish less - Study finds technology partly to blame, workers stressed out Unlike a decade ago, U.S. workers are bombarded with e-mail, computer messages, cell phone calls, voice mails and the like, research showed. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11509049
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.24
Regular was selling for $1.88 in Conway Tuesday. Exactly how many refineries are in that area?
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Fried Rice - - Annette McClellan
Ingredients:
4 cups cooked converted or parboiled rice (precooked and cooled.)
Water chestnuts
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
2 tablespoons finely grated carrot
2 eggs, beaten
½ cup diced onion
2 tablespoons soy sauce
Salt
Pepper
Method:
Cook rice following instructions on package (Bring 2 cups water to a boil, add rice and a dash of salt, reduce heat and simmer in covered saucepan for 20 minutes). Pour rice into a large bowl to let it cool in the refrigerator. Rice must be cold. Cut up chicken, pork, shrimp or ham (or all four), roll in cornstarch and stir-fry in a little oil. Add soy sauce to taste and set aside. Cut up onions and sauté in a little oil. Add cold rice and push to the side of the pan. Scramble the eggs in the pan. Then mix into rice and onions. Add peas, grated carrots, water chestnuts and whatever else you want. Add more soy sauce as desired and cook rice for 6-8 minutes over heat, stirring often.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
The Elephant in the Living Room
The New Zealand Abortion Study
February 24, 2006
Professor David Fergusson, director of the Christchurch Health and Development Study in New Zealand, is firmly pro-choice. But I suspect the good professor might understand if I point out that, lately, he’s been getting a little taste of what it’s like to be pro-life.
Fergusson and two colleagues, L. John Horwood and Elizabeth Ridder, conducted a study on abortion and mental health. And they didn’t find what they expected to find. Their report states, “Those having an abortion [under age 25] had elevated rates of subsequent mental health problems including depression, anxiety, suicidal behaviors and substance use disorders.” Their report goes on to say, “The findings suggest that abortion in young women may be associated with increased risks of mental health problems.”
Talk about irony. We’re used to hearing about the “mental health” aspects of abortion, of course—but usually, we’re being told that a woman’s mental health is in danger if she doesn’t have an abortion. At the very least, this new study forces pro-choicers to question the all-too-common assumption, an assumption that now is putting young women in danger.
Not that most pro-choicers want to hear this, of course—and particularly not now, with the Supreme Court just having agreed to hear an appeal of the partial-birth abortion ban case, where the issue turns on exceptions about the mother’s health. This is why I said that Dr. Fergusson is learning something about what it’s like to be pro-life. This well-regarded researcher and his team normally have no trouble at all getting their work published. But in this case they had to go to four different journals before they could find one that would publish their study. Fergusson has told interviewers that he knows it’s because his findings are too “controversial”—so controversial that New Zealand’s Abortion Supervisory Committee warned him against publishing his work, not for scientific reasons, but for political ones.
Well, Fergusson himself dislikes the idea that pro-lifers will use his work, and he knows that his research could have a devastating effect on the abortion movement in his country. In New Zealand, as the Herald explained, “Every abortion requires two ‘certifying consultants’ to approve it on certain grounds, usually that a woman’s mental health would be [otherwise] endangered.” You can see what the implications would be if the greater “mental health” risk turns out to be having the abortion.
My hat is off to Dr. Fergusson. Despite the controversy, and despite the fact that his results disagreed with his own beliefs, Fergusson was determined to publish them anyway. And he told the Herald, “It verges on scandalous that a surgical procedure that is performed on over one in 10 women has been so poorly researched and evaluated, given the debates about the psychological consequences of abortion.”
That, my friends, is a true professional and a true scientist speaking. It’s people like this who give science a good name. He’s not willing to ignore the elephant in the middle of the room just because no one else wants to talk about it. Instead, he insists on getting the truth out in the open. And that’s what science ought to be all about—not just in New Zealand, but here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: The Cost of ‘Choice’: Women Evaluate the Impact of Abortion by Erika Bachiochi, ed.
David M. Fergusson, Ph.D., et al., “Abortion in Young Women and Subsequent Mental Health,” Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry 47, no. 1 (2006): 16-24. Adobe Acrobat required.
Ruth Hill, “Abortion Researcher Confounded by Study,” New Zealand Herald, 5 January 2006.
Julie Robotham, “Abortion Linked to Mental Risk,” The Age, 3 January 2006.
David C. Reardon, “Abortion Causes Mental Disorders: New Zealand Study May Require Doctors to Do Fewer Abortions,” LifeIssues.net, 9 February 2005.
Ruth Pollard, “Questions Raised Over Abortion Study’s Findings,” Sydney Morning Herald, 4 January 2006.
“‘Evidence Doesn’t Matter’—APA Spokesperson Says of Abortion Complications,” press release, Elliot Institute, 17 February 2006.
Learn more about the Silent No More Awareness Campaign and Operation Outcry, two efforts dedicated to spreading the truth about abortion and offering post-abortive women hope and healing.
Gina Holland, “Supreme Court Plunges into Abortion Debate,” Forbes, 21 February 2006.
Warren Throckmorton, “Uninformed Consent: Abortion's Mental Health Consequences,” BreakPoint Online, 20 January 2006.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 041015, “Politics First, Women Second: The Illness They Won’t Talk About.”
Peter Kreeft, Three Approaches to Abortion (Ignatius Press, 2002).
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
imbue: to dye; to instill profoundly.
canard: an unfounded or false report.
probity: complete and confirmed integrity.
titivate: to smarten up; to spruce.
jovial: merry; joyous; jolly.
salutary: beneficial; also, healthful.
alacrity: a cheerful readiness, willingness, or promptness.
munificent: very generous.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov
"There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere..." - Jane Austen
"I am convinced that the best service a retired general can perform is to turn in his tongue along with his suit, and to mothball his opinions." - Gen Omar N Bradley
"I see the mind of the 5-year-old as a volcano with two vents: destructiveness and creativeness." - Sylvia Ashton-Warner
"To be interested in the changing seasons is, in this middling zone, a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring." - George Santayana
"Among those whom I like, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can; all of them make me laugh." - W H Auden
"Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love." - Marc Chagall
"Be of love (a little) more careful than of anything." - E E Cummings
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
Landmark Study in UK Shows Faith Plays Significant Role in Well-being of Youth
Jonathan Wynne-Jones/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 24, 2006)
Teenagers who belong to a faith community were much more likely to feel that their life had a sense of purpose.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2167
Bill to Ban Abortion Passe s in South Dakota Senate - Historic Legislation Now Goes to Governor Rounds for Signing
Rev. Patrick J. Mahoney / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 23, 2006)
"Our hope and prayer now is that Governor Michael Rounds will sign this bill and send a clear message to the other states to affirm the dignity of life."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2163
Black History and the Christian Faith Entwined - a NJ Church Celebrates Roots of Faith
John Vandiver / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 22, 2006)
"Many historians, black and white, credit the Christian faith of the slaves as being the single most important factor in unifying and sustaining them as a people"
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2159
U.S. Supreme Court Agrees to Take on Partial Birth Abortion Case
Matt Staver / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 21, 2006)
"Today marks the first action of the High Court in a new direction."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2154
Nationwide Ministry Prays for Leaders on President's Day - Political Affiliation Not an Issue
Jason Davis/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 20, 2006)
"We feel that we have a biblical mandate to pray for those in authority"
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2150
Second "Friendship" Festival Planned in Morocco
Justin Camacho/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Feb 17, 2006)
Creation Fest co-founders Harry Thomas and Tim Landis are planning Friendship Fest 2006 from May 5-7 in Marrakech, Morocco.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2144
Canada's New Conservative Government Moves to Raise Age of Consent
Chris Wiebe / Aimee Herd reporting (Feb 17, 2006)
"We want to protect young people from adult sexual predators."
As part of the "law and order" platform Canada's newly elected government ran on only a month ago, a move has been made to increase the national age of sexual consent from the current 14 to 16-years-old. The measure would include a "close-in-age exemption."
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2139
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GCF: The Hokey Pokey (Shakespearean Style)
------------------------------------
Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List)
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
------------------------------------
*The Hokey Pokey*
Original Lyrics
Put your left foot in,
Your left foot out,
Your left foot in,
And shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around
That's what it's all about.
*The Hokey Pokey*
Shakespearean Style
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt.
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
(-:][:-)
Name Spelling
-------------------------------------
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day)
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
-------------------------------
It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to spell their name out loud.
When she came to a young Pakistani boy and asked his name, he replied, "Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee."
"How do you spell that?" asked the teacher.
"My mother helps me," said the little boy.
(-:][:-)
Real Estimating!
------------------------------------
Found at The Shark Tank (Computerworld)
http://www.computerworld.com/departments/opinions/sharktank/0,4885,108769,00.html
-----------------------------------
Programmer at this retail chain gets an assignment to add some functionality to four reporting applications. One change request is to add passwords to one of the four applications -- but just one.
"Just doing one sounded suspicious to me," says the programmer. "So I decided to code the password logic in a separate module for easy reuse. I only had to add one line of code to the existing executable."
Fast-forward six months: The new versions are installed in a handful of stores for beta testing before they'll roll out to 1,000 stores nationwide. Programmer's boss drops by his cubicle to tell him that the users like the password function, but they wanted it on all four applications. How long would it take to add it to the other three?
He calculates: add one line of code, compile, do some testing. That's maybe a few hours' work if everything goes as planned -- which it seldom does.
"Two days," he tells his boss.
She's skeptical. "Are you sure?" she says. "Let's say one week."
Programmer shrugs. Boss continues: "Three applications, one week each, I'll tell them three weeks."
He tries to explain that he estimated two days for all three applications. She's still skeptical, but after he assures her that with code reuse he really can finish in two days, boss compromises: She'll tell them it'll be done in one week.
"I went to lunch, came back and updated all three in about an hour," says the programmer. "The module worked great. I walked over to my boss's office to tell her the news. She asked if I was sure it worked. I assured her it did.
"She had already sent the estimate to her manager and, to be safe, she told him two weeks. She asked me not to send it to QA for another week. We didn't want to look too good.
"I had a chuckle and started working on something else. A couple of hours later, she forwarded me a note from her manager to the business client. He had padded it another week. I now had three weeks to finish my already completed changes.
"I worked on other things for a week, recompiled them so the date was recent, and got a big attaboy for finishing so promptly."
(-:][:-)
Time To Go
-----------------------------------
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
--------------------------------
Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the inevitable answer.
"Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."
"I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
(-:][:-)
Wrong Advertising
----------------------------
Emailed to me from another humor list (The Funnies)
To subscribe to The Funnies, send a blank email to:
andychaps_the-funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
----------------------------
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," said Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Well," interrupted the dealer, "didn't you receive them yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown.
"However, you sent us some golf pencils...each stamped with the words, 'Play Golf Next Sunday'."
_ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
[GCFL.net] You Know It's Time to Diet When...
- You dance and it makes the band skip.
- You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
- You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
- You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
- Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
- You run away, and your picture takes up all four sides of the milk carton.
- You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
- You could sell shade.
- Your blood type is Ragu.
- You need an appointment to attend an "open house."
Received from Troy Ark.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Carpet Installers Lump
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Received from Troy Ark.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"Oh, I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom!
Received from Jack N Walker.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Worker Ants
The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"
One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a union."
Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Stun gun ..... ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 33rd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two (itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nostrils on fire, fingers nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-GUN.. that hurt like all get-out!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nostrils were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my fingers?
I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
(Name withheld for obvious reasons....)
Thanks to Steve Downey
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
*In the Bag*
I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in an airsickness courtesy bag.
After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?"
I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."
(-:][:-)
*Dream Woman*
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.
"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."
"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.
"We hadn't started eating yet."
(-:][:-)
*Taste It*
One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!"
WAITER: "Yes,sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which the customer replied triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"
(-:][:-)
*Getting Fat*
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy"
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"
(-:][:-)
*Flight Instructions*
During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The solid-steel weights were bright yellow and marked "14,000 lbs."
But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flight."
Eye Laugh
"Cat Baptism"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=214
"Love Hours"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=239
"Military Cutback"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=243
"Chamaeleon Slice"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=244
"Spot the Giraffe"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g05.php?id=245
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/bashed_attorney.html - - Diary Of A Bashed Attorney "Why did I go to law school? Work is unbearable, I have no free time, and I'm expected to "make rain" at parties. To somehow extract legal fees from revelers who sidle up, drinks in one hand, hors d'oeuvres in the other, looking for free advice. My reward? Lawyer jokes..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Merck Veterinary Manual - - http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp - - The single most comprehensive electronic reference for animal care information. Includes over 12,000 indexed topics and over 1200 illustrations. Rapidly search by topic, species, specialty, disease, and keyword using advanced search.
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Traditions of the Sun - - http://www.traditionsofthesun.org/ - - Our shared interest in better understanding the mysteries of the Sun, forms a common bond between those who built the great structures of Chaco Canyon and the Yucatan, and people today. At this NASA site, you will learn about the ancestral Native Americans in New Mexico and the ancient Maya in the Yucatan and gain a better understanding of the active Sun, and its importance to them and, to us.
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Bartleby.com - - http://www.bartleby.com/ - - The preeminent Internet publisher of literature, reference, and verse providing students, researchers and the intellectually curious with unlimited access to books and information on the web, free of charge.
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Britannica Concise Encyclopedia - - http://concise.britannica.com/ - - A one-volume online encyclopedia that includes 25,000 short entries.
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National Geographic News - - http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/ - - This is a daily news service produced by the popular magazine. Its focus is on the geographic aspects of world news, and it can for example on a particular day report on earthquake studies in Tokyo, large catfish in Thailand and the salvage of a ship on the Carolina coast that may just possibly be the last ship of the pirate Blackbeard.
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Library of Congress - - http://www.loc.gov/ - - The Library of Congress is the nation's oldest federal cultural institution and serves as the research arm of Congress. It is also the largest library in the world, with more than 130 million items on approximately 530 miles of bookshelves. The collections include more than 29 million books and other printed materials, 2.7 million recordings, 12 million photographs, 4.8 million maps, and 58 million manuscripts.
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A Primer on Gasoline Prices - - http://www.eia.doe.gov/neic/brochure/oil_gas/primer/primer.htm - - This Primer has been created by the Energy Information Administration with the U.S. Department of Energy. Gasoline, one of the main products refined from crude oil, accounts for just about 16 percent of the energy consumed in the United States. The primary use for gasoline is in automobiles and light trucks. Gasoline also fuels boats, recreational vehicles, and various farm and other equipment. While gasoline is produced year-round, extra volumes are made in time for the summer driving season. The cost to produce and deliver gasoline to consumers includes the cost of crude oil to refiners, refinery processing costs, marketing and distribution costs, and finally the retail station costs and taxes. The prices paid by consumers at the pump reflect these costs, as well as the profits (and sometimes losses) of refiners, marketers, distributors, and retail station owners.
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How Far Is It? - - http://www.indo.com/distance/ - - This site uses data from the US Census and a supplementary list of cities around the world to find the latitude and longitude of two places, and then calculates the distance between them (as the crow flies). It also provides a map showing the two places, using the Xerox PARC Map Server.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 21, 2006
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.
Special Report: Playing with Fire
It's a troubling statistic, only two out of every seven homes has a working smoke detector; and with more than half of all house fires happening at night, News 2's Brad Franko tells us in this special report; without one you're playing with fire:
It's your worst nightmare. A fire while you sleep. Your only protection is one of the most neglected pieces of equipment in your home, if you have one at all.
"That's your life right there.. That gives you a chance." - Charleston Fire Chief Rusty Thomas
The numbers show, not enough people give themselves that chance. According to the state fire marshall's office, 64 people died in structure fires across the state in 2005. 19 of those had smoke alarms; only seven of those were working. The most common reason: no battery!
To illustrate just how effective smoke detectors are, if used properly we enlisted help from the City of Charleston Fire Department. We set a couch on fire inside the departments training tower. It smoldered for a 47 seconds before the alarm, placed on the wall just below the ceiling went off.
"The smoke will get you long before the fire will." - Chief Rusty Thomas
I stayed inside with an infrared camera. For me, it takes all of a minute and 45 seconds before I need the assistance of my airpack. After the door was closed, the thick black smoke continues to build and the temperature rises above 1000 degrees.
Obviously in here we have one couch that's burning... In a regular house you're going to have all kinds of stuff that's going to go up... Now we've lost all visibility and it's real hot. And three minutes into the burn; anyone inside would have very little chance of getting out alive.
Sharon Walker knows first hand how quickly things can go bad in a fire; her daughter and two grand-daughters were killed in a mobile home fire in Whitesville on January 27th.
"There was smoke around the door, and the windows were blacked out." - Sharon Walker
Fire officials they didn't have a smoke detector; but if they did, the outcome may have been different.
Our fire at the training tower is now 3:30 minutes old and the smoke detector has melted and stopped working. Upstairs is a different story, up there still no signs of the inferno on the first floor.
It's not until that downstairs door is opened that smoke triggers the alarm, making escape through the first floor all but impossible.
It was a good three to five minutes that the fire was burning before the second floor alarm went off... And that's a problem don't you think...
Isn't that the catch 22 you sleep with your doors closed avoiding the smoke, but you can't hear the detector unless it's in the right place (Brad asking Chief Rusty Thomas).
"That's exactly right you got to have them in the right place" - Chief Rusty Thomas
In a one story home: the chief recommends putting that detector near the bedrooms.
In a two story home: you're going to need more than one. Ideally in a two story two bedroom home; six smoke detectors would provide widespread coverage. One on the first floor. One in the living room, the hallway, and kitchen. And on the second floor one in each bedroom and one at the top of the stairwell.
"I'm glad you did this story because this is exactly what happens; we had a regular couch fire and in 15-45 seconds that first alarm went off." - Chief Rusty Thomas
15-45 seconds that could have saved Sharon Walkers family.
"I urge everyone to get a smoke detector and make sure it's working... Maybe we wouldn't be going through this if that was the case." - Sharon Walker
"If we can save one life then that detector has done it's job... Give yourself a chance by having a working detector." Chief Rusty Thomas
They're not that expensive.
"Well we give them away for free." - Chief Rusty Thomas
Bottom line; without one you're playing with fire!
If you have a smoke detector but want to improve your fire protection; here are some tips:
1. There's safety in numbers; put at least one on each floor.
2. For further protection; have them hard wired, with a battery back-up.
3. Test them at least once a month.
4. Make sure you keep your detectors free of dust..
5. Replace the batteries twice per year and replace the detector every ten years.
6. And remember a smoke detector is useless if you don't know how to get out. Develop escape plans and practice them at least twice per year.
Thank you to the City of Charleston Fire Department for their assistance with this story.
Brad Franko
Count on 2 News
Thursday, February 9, 2006
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 20, 2006
God's Way
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Dale Mann.
A preacher and his wife from NY were visiting my parents (old friends of theirs from childhood). I stopped by and we discussed things from philosophy to affairs of the world today.
The preacher told his story. A teacher was in front of the class disputing the existence of God. This was an evening class where mature people attended, including a soldier just back from Iraq. The teacher said "If there is a God, I am begging to see proof of this. If there is a God, for proof He needs to knock me out of this chair I am sitting in right now." Five minutes passed and nothing happened. The teacher felt he had proved his point but then said " If there is a God, He must knock me out of this chair within 10 minutes." Two minutes passed and nothing happened, everyone kind of looking around. Then the soldier back from Iraq walked up to the teacher's desk and hit him right between the eyes, knocking him completely out of the chair and his senses.
The teacher woke up after being knocked out and asked the soldier," What did you do that for?" The Soldier replied, " God sent me to help you see the light, but for His mercy in sending me instead of coming Himself, you would now be dead."
Thought about morals of this story and want to share them below:
God does work in mysterious ways.
What you beg for, you may get - make sure you beg and pray for what you really, really want.
All negative thoughts you may have, at home, play, or work, need to be carefully examined and dealt with. There is a silver lining in every cloud. Just look at the Nightly News; you are likely better off than you think.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 15, 2006
Heart Attacks
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.
Women (and men) should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.
Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
February 14, 2006
It's As Easy As ABC
ABCs of Preventing Heart Disease, Stroke and Heart Attack
Sounds simple doesn't it? So why are coronary heart disease and stroke the No. 1 and No. 3 killers of Americans? One reason is undeniably a lack of commitment to a heart-healthy lifestyle. Your lifestyle is not only your best defense against heart disease and stroke, it's also your responsibility.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ.
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A kid asked Jesus... how much do u love me? Jesus replied," I love you this much." and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us.
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Rural firefighters stood by and watched a fire destroy a garage and a vehicle because the property owner had not paid membership dues.
Bibaldo Rueda - who was injured battling the flames Monday - offered to pay the dues as the fire blazed away, but the Monett Rural Fire Department does not have a policy for on-the-spot billing, Sheriff's Detective Robert Evenson said.
Fire Chief Ronnie Myers defended the no-pay, no-aid policy, saying the membership-based organization could not survive if people thought the department would respond for free. The department said it will fight a fire without question if a life is believed to be in danger.
Rueda used a garden hose and buckets to fight the flames while firefighters stood by on the road, watching in case the blaze spread to neighboring properties owned by members. The fire eventually burned itself out.
Rueda said no one told him about the dues policy when he moved in 1 1/2 years ago.
~
What do you think?
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The Little Red Hen (Modern Version)
Once upon a time, on a farm in Texas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.
She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread.
"Who will help me bake the bread! ?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. She baked five
loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves"
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.
And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then a government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle,"
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand,"
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free.
And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established. Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT?
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Row boat competition
Unfortunately this is how most American companies do things..........
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Ohio River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and one person rowing.
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower.
There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practice and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
And that is the way it is.
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 41 --- 23 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus --
+---------------------------------------+
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Rockets, Badgers and Bananaphones
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, the clog dance capital of north central Paraguay. :P
+---------------------------------------+
--------------
Riding Rockets
--------------
Most of my brushes with greatness happened while I was working at Space Camp. There I met both George Bush [41] and Ted Kennedy. I drank a beer with "Rocket Boys" author and NASA engineer Homer Hickam and I hung out in the ward room with Richard M. Nixon, the world- famous Space Camp counselor who happened to share his name with the 37th President of the United States. I even met a few astronauts, including my favorite astronaut of all time: Mike Mullane.
Mike's son Pat, along with his future son-in-law Steve "Rooster" Wade, and I shared a counselor's room in Bay 8 of the "The Bubble," Space Camp's dormitory. Between Bays 7 and 8 was an upstairs storeroom where we stored the freeze dried astronaut dinners we would occasionally inflict upon the unsuspecting campers. While the campers did not particularly care for this arid astro-delicacy, the field mice around The Bubble couldn't get enough of the stuff. Soon, every mouse critter within 100 miles was making a beeline to The Bubble with a requisite pit stop in Bay 8. The morning that Steve Wade awoke to see a mouse on chest -- a mouse that Pat and I lovingly named "Throdor, King of the Mutant Rats" -- was a particularly vivid [and humorous] episode in my life.
Of course, Space Camp management -- as management anywhere is wont to do -- downplayed the incident and refused to do anything to dis-invite our furry Bubblemates. Astronaut Mike Mullane came to our rescue. A few weeks after hearing about Steve's mouse encounter, Mike sent the three of us his astronaut photograph with the following inscription:
"To Throdor, King of the Mutant Rats,
Here's hoping all your dreams come true in upstairs bay 8.
-- Mike Mullane, Astronaut"
Of course, Pat, Steve, and I immediately posted the photograph on our door. A few days later, while on a tour of The Bubble with the Director of the Space and Rocket Center, the Chairman of Nippon Steel saw the photograph, turned to the Director, and asked "Who's Throdor?"
Problem solved.
Not only is Mike Mullane my favorite astronaut, he's also one heck of an exterminator.
What does all of this have to do with today's Tourbus post. Well, Mike Mullane has written a new book titled "Riding Rockets : The Outrageous Tales of a Space Shuttle Astronaut" [US$26.00 hardcover / ISBN 0743276825.] I know we don't do book reviews that often, but I highly recommend that you buy multiple copies of "Riding Rockets." This book is THAT good. Mike holds no punches, giving you an inside peek at the thrills, fears, inside jokes, and unimaginable frustrations of the United States astronauts corps.
The publisher Simon & Schuster posted an excerpt from chapter one:
http://www.simonsays.com/content/book.cfm?sid=33&pid=514931&agid=2
and you can read an exceptional, in-depth review of the book at:
http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewnews.html?id=1090
The review sums up this book much better than I can. And I am not just saying that because of Throdor.
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Meme Review: Badgers and Bananaphones
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Speaking of badgers [huh?], I want to spend some time over the next couple of months re-introducing to different internet phenomena, the stuff that was once really, really popular and then quickly fell out of favor. Think of this as an internet pop culture history tour. Our first stop is Jonti Picking's "Badger Badger Badger" Flash video at
http://weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers/
As with most internet phenomena, don't bother looking for a point. It's just badgers, mushrooms, and snakes. Over and over again. Study this video carefully. It's important, especially if you want to fully experience the joy that is
http://www.lemonizer.com/banana/
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Volume 11, Number 38 --- 07 February 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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In today's TOURBUS, a supercool tool that lets you zoom in on your house from cyberspace and view the price tag. Also in this issue, cookies demystified, the Click of Doom, and solutions for other annoying problems. Read on!
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What's Your House Worth?
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Ever wonder what your house (or one that's for sale) is really worth? Getting a property valuation from a realtor or appraiser can be a hassle, and might cost several hundred dollars. Now in just a few clicks, you can learn the estimated value of almost any house in the United States, and it won't cost you a nickel.
http://askbobrankin.com/house_values.html
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Eat Your Cookies
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I often get email from people who misunderstand or fear browser cookies. Today someone asked me about the "Google cookie is spyware" rumor, which is total rubbish. Others ask how to turn off cookies because their anti-virus or anti-spyware program falsely identifies them as security threats.
Should you really worry about cookies? I've written a a guide that tells you everything need to know about these tasty little critters. Read on for a closer look at the good, the bad, and the crumbly aspects of web browser cookies.
http://askbobrankin.com/eat_your_cookies.html
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The Click of Doom
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Is your hard drive making a clicking sound? Do you sometimes hear a repeated click-whir sound and then the computer locks up? Beware... it could be the Click of Doom!
Generally a clicking sound coming from your hard drive is a Bad Omen. It could be a harbinger of horrific hardware happenings, but it might also be something you can fix in a few seconds. If you've got "the click" read this article to find out what you should be doing ASAP!
http://askbobrankin.com/hard_drive_makes_a_clicking_sound.html
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Computer Keeps Restarting?
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Today a reader asked me this question about a misbehaving PC:
"My PC running on Windows XP frequently restarts it self for no apparent reason. Any files or internet pages I have been working on are lost. The PC reboots to the desktop and I have to redo all my work. Any ideas please?"
There are several possible reasons why this might happen, including overheating, faulty memory, and hardware or software glitches. If this has ever happened to you, learn how to determine the cause and prevent this annoying problem.
http://askbobrankin.com/computer_restarts_itself.html
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Directory Information Overload?
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Sure, there are lots of online yellow pages websites. But all too often, I find it frustrating to get the phone number or address for a business or public facility. Point, click, search, wade through multiple pages of search results, drill down into confusing category headings, and MAYBE you can find that phone number. Here's good news... it just got easier to do what should be a simple task.
http://askbobrankin.com/directory_information_overload.html
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That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
Have a safe and happy weekend, and we'll talk again soon.
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==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
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.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
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Junior Charity League “Follies” Friday night - February 24, and Saturday night - February 25. ~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
The Department of Defense announced the death of eight Marines and two airmen who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. All 10 died Feb. 17, when two CH-53 helicopters crashed into the Gulf of Aden in the vicinity of Ras Siyyan, northern Djibouti, while flying a training mission in the Godoria Range area. The Marines and airmen were deployed to Djibouti as part of the Combined Joint Task Force-Horn of Africa.
The Marines were assigned to Marine Heavy Helicopter Squadron 464, Marine Air Group 29, 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing, II Marine Expeditionary Force, New River, N.C.
01. 1st Lt. Brandon R. Dronet, 33, of Erath, La.
02. Sgt. James F. Fordyce, 22, of Newton Square, Pa.
03. Lance Cpl. Samuel W. Large, Jr., 21, of Villa Rica, Ga.
04. Sgt. Donnie Leo F. Levens, 25, of Long Beach, Miss.
05. Cpl. Matthieu Marcellus, 31, of Gainesville, Fla.
06. Sgt. Jonathan E. McColley, 23, of Gettysburg, Pa.
07. Lance Cpl. Nicholas J. Sovie, 20, of Ogdensburg, N.Y.
08. Capt. Bryan D. Willard, 33, of Hummelstown, Pa.
The airmen were:
09. SrA. Alecia S. Good, 23, of Broadview Heights, Ohio. Good was assigned to the 92nd Communications Squadron, Fairchild Air Force Base,Wash.
10. Staff Sgt. Luis M. Melendez Sanchez, 33, of Bayamon, Puerto Rico. Sanchez was assigned to the 1st Communications Squadron, Langley Air Force Base, Va.
The cause of the incident is under investigation.
11. Sgt. 1st Class Amos C. Edwards, Jr., 41, of Savannah, Ga., died in Ar Rutbah, Iraq, on Feb. 17, from a non-combat related cause. Edwards was assigned to the Army National Guard's 1st Battalion, 118th Field Artillery Regiment, 48th Brigade Combat Team, Savannah, Ga.
12. Cpt. Anthony R. Garcia, 48, of Fort Worth, Texas, died in Tikrit, Iraq, on Feb. 17, from a gun shot wound. Garcia was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 101st Aviation Regiment, 101st Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.
13. Sgt. Charles E. Matheny, IV, 23 of Stanwood, Wash., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on Feb. 18, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Matheny was assigned to the Army's 704th Support Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
14. Cpl. Matthew D. Conley, 21, of Killen, Ala., died Feb. 18, when his vehicle was attacked with an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations in Ar Ramadi, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
15. Daniel J. Kuhlmeier, 30, of Omaha, Neb., died Feb. 20 in Baghdad, Iraq when the convoy he was traveling in was struck by an improvised explosive device. He was assigned to Detachment 204, 2nd Field Investigations Region, Offutt Air Force Base, Neb.
16. Staff Sgt. Jay T. Collado, 31, of Columbia, S.C., died Feb. 20 from an improvised explosive device near Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Light/Attack Helicopter Squadron-267, Marine Aircraft Group-39, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, he was attached to the U.S. Army’s 4th Infantry Division.
17. 2nd Lt. Almar L. Fitzgerald, 23, of Lexington, S.C., died Feb. 21 at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany from wounds received Feb. 18 as a result of an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif. During Operation Iraqi Freedom, his unit was attached to the 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward).
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making your Birthday list. (Well, I didn’t expect to get everything for Christmas.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Rom 1:16-17 Ezek 43:25-27 Neh 8:18-9:1-2 Luke 9:18-20 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue. This week, "Word" and "PDF" subscribers get to see photos of Clark Thomas, Arkansas DOL speaker who will be at Albemarle March 1&2, Bother Paul visiting with Cullen Assembly of God members, Jimmy and Vanessa being prayed for and Dusty at an “Upward” ball game.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
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