Bug's Bleat - - GCF: Mess Cake

Volume 8, Issue 11 Friday, March 17, 2006

Hello All,

It was a rough week in Columbia County. Two single vehicle accidents resulted in one death and six young people hospitalized, several in critical condition. The common thread around the “water cooler” was frustration at the “ignorance” of youth. We had all done “dumb” things as youth, but most of us lived through it. But we all had friends who didn’t.
Is there any way to get our experience into young people so they don’t have to experience the pain we did? No one has figured out a way yet.
~~~~~
News of the week. They’ve built a sidewalk in Cullen, LA right in front of Jimmy and Vanessa’s home. Now they can walk to church without walking on the road.
~~~~~
Our sincere sympathy is extended to Jackie Fulton, Tracy Jones, and Laretha Cooper whose mother away last Wednesday.
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We extend our sincere sympathy to Debbie Wright in the loss of her mother, Mary Smith, who passed away on Saturday.
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Arkansas lost a “squeaker” at the national finals basketball tournament today. I believe the final score was something like 47 to 43.
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include Aunt Margie’s flowers, Josiah, and the Albemarle Fire Brigade training.
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We can’t seem to get our sixth DVD player to show the subtitles on Japanese movies. I’ve tried everything I know. It works fine on French films. So I tried it on our non-TV guardian DVD player. Viola! I can read the subtitles and watch “Ikiru” a wonderful Japanese film from 1952.
~~~~~
“Real” Iraq news (not available on MSM) is available at http://www.michaelyon-online.com/
~~~~~
You might also check out http://www.tellthemididnotcry.com/home.html
Jackie and Jenny Spinner wrote the book “Tell Them I Didn't Cry: A Young Journalist's Story of Joy, Loss, and Survival in Iraq,” published by Scribner. The book chronicles Jackie's time in Iraq reporting for the Washington Post. Her twin sister Jenny, who was Jackie's main contact in the U.S., wrote brief vignettes at the end of each chapter. The program included photographs from the sisters' lives.
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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BATON ROUGE, La., March 16 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ – Albemarle Corporation (NYSE: ALB), a leading chemistry service provider to the life sciences industry, has been named as one of the production partners in the supply of intermediate chemicals for the antiviral Tamiflu(R) (oseltamivir), produced by Roche.

Roche announced today that it has expanded its global manufacturing network for the production of Tamiflu to increase capacity for the product. The company also announced that the manufacturing network will include several Roche sites and more than 15 external contractors, including Albemarle, in nine different countries.

The production partners for the various steps of manufacture have been selected primarily "on the basis of their ability to produce substantial quantities of intermediates and finished materials in accordance with Roche's quality standards in a relatively short time frame," according to Roche.

"Albemarle is very pleased to be part of the supply chain network Roche has assembled to produce Tamiflu," said Ed Tatum, global business director for Albemarle's Fine Chemistry Services unit. "The need to respond to the growing demand for Tamiflu is one of the most important challenges facing the life sciences industry today. We believe that our selection by Roche for this cGMP manufacturing opportunity is further validation of Albemarle's Fine Chemistry Services capabilities, and we are striving to do our part to ensure that the public health needs for this important product are satisfied completely."

CGMP are the "current Good Manufacturing Practices" followed by pharmaceutical and biotech firms to ensure that their products and intermediates used to make those products meet specific requirements for identity, strength, quality, and purity.
~~~~~
Bible Cure for: Chronic Fatigue and Fibrommyalgia
Dr. Don Colbert (Mar 13, 2006)

Are you feeling drained and depleted from chronic fatigue? In this concise, easy-to-read book you'll discover a wealth of usable information to help you win the battle against chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia once and for all! Learn biblical secrets on health and the latest medical research on how to break free from chronic pain and fatigue! This book contains findings that your doctor may never have told you!
• Steps - from burned out to fired up
• Foods that harm - and foods and supplements that give life
• A walking program - just for you
• God's promise - to strengthen and comfort you

You want to be healthy. God wants you to be healthy. Now at last here's a source of information that will help you get healthy - body, mind and spirit.

More...
http://thewellbookstore.com/item.asp?PID=2668
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.49
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Angel Biscuits Aunt Gertrude Taylor


Ingredients:
1 pkg dry yeast
2 Tbsp. warm water
5 cups flour
¼ cup sugar
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. soda
1 cup shortening
3 cups buttermilk


Method:
In warm water combine dry ingredients, cut in shortening and add yeast and buttermilk. Knead well; roll out and cut with biscuit cutter. Slash and fold over. Bake at 375º for 15 to 20 minutes. Dough may be refrigerated and used as needed. My favorite.
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson

When Dad Is Missing
To Own a Dragon and A Dad-Shaped Hole in My Heart

By Kristine Steakley

March 17, 2006

Liberal columnist Maureen Dowd titled her latest book Are Men Necessary? It’s a question that feminists have long joked about, most famously in the fish-on-a-bicycle analogy; but modern reproductive technology and the growing trend of same-sex “marriage” give this question urgency. Does it matter if children grow up without a father? As long as a child is loved and wanted and raised in a nurturing environment, can we sidestep the role of fatherhood and still end up with children who are emotionally healthy?

Mark Earley, president of Prison Fellowship, made it a point to visit juvenile detention centers when he was attorney general of Virginia. In all of his visits, Earley says he met not one kid behind bars who had a father living at home. Indeed, children without fathers are significantly more likely to commit suicide, exhibit behavioral problems, drop out of school, abuse drugs or alcohol, and find themselves in prison.

Two new books address the pain and challenge of growing up without a father. Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, writes for men in To Own a Dragon, while Christian counselor H. Norman Wright writes for women in A Dad-Shaped Hole in My Heart. Both authors walk their readers through an exploration of the void left by a father’s absence and into the wholeness of God’s perfect Fatherhood.

FAIRY-TALE FATHERS
In To Own a Dragon, Donald Miller begins with a series of stories about the men who influenced his childhood after his father left the family: Bill Cosby as Cliff Huxtable on The Cosby Show, the landlord’s “pothead” son, a slightly unstable Vietnam vet with a penchant for model airplanes, and a very patient youth pastor. Each had a role in shaping Miller’s understanding of what it meant to be a man. Still, the concept of a father was elusive for Miller. “For me a father is nothing more than a character in a fairy tale. And I know fathers are not like dragons in that fathers actually exist, but I don’t remember feeling that a father existed for me . . . in a way I don’t miss having a father any more than I miss having a dragon.”

All of that changed through a pivotal friendship with nature photographer John MacMurray, credited as a co-author on the book for the depth of his influence on Miller. MacMurray and his wife invited Miller to move into their guest quarters. For four years, Miller saw what it meant to be a godly man. “For the first time in my life,” he wrote, “I saw what a father does, what a father teaches a kid, what a husband does around the house, the way a man interacts with the world around him, the way a man—just as does a woman—holds a family together.”

MacMurray’s mentoring marked a turning point for Miller, who now runs a foundation that helps single moms and provides mentors for kids without dads. He likens the interplay of generations to pilots who constantly radio one another to learn about weather conditions ahead and to warn those behind. Without the benefit of wisdom from older men who have been through the same stages of life, many young men find themselves adrift and aimless and stuck in what some are now terming “suspended adolescence.” Miller uses the rest of his book to speak to some of the issues that arise from this loss of direction. He assures men that they are men by virtue of creation and encourages them to act like men, to assume responsibility, to be mature in their dealings with women, and to live with integrity.

Miller’s honest and humorous stories of his own journey to maturation bring a sense of hope and purpose to his writing. He ends by encouraging others who have experienced the deep sense of pain and loss created by a father’s absence to see themselves as “wounded healers,” a phrase he borrows from Bishop Desmond Tutu. The pain that God allows in our lives, Miller says, can be a path to empathy, allowing us to bring the same kind of healing we have experienced ourselves to others who are in the same situation.

“LITTLE GIRL, ARISE”
H. Norman Wright tells the story of Jairus in his book A Dad-Shaped Hole in My Heart. In the biblical account, Jairus, an official at the synagogue, came to Jesus with a desperate plea for his daughter, who was deathly ill. Before they reached the house, a friend arrived with the sad news that Jairus’s daughter had died. But, at the climax of the familiar narrative, Jesus went to Jairus’s house anyway and healed the little girl, bringing her back to life with the words, “Little girl, arise.”

Wright reminds us that daughters were not valued in Jairus’s day and he was exposing himself to potential ridicule for going to so much trouble over one insignificant girl, but love for his daughter compelled him to take the risk. Wright tells his readers that this love and resurrection power is available today for women who have been gravely wounded by an absent father.

Many daughters feel abandoned and forgotten by their fathers. Whether their fathers are simply emotionally absent or are physically absent due to adoption, divorce, or death, these daughters go through life with emptiness in their hearts where a father’s love should be. Wright addresses each of these unique situations individually, detailing the common effects of each on the relational, emotional, and spiritual life of a woman. He leads readers through a series of written exercises that help her identify and understand her places of hurt. Then he guides her through Scriptures that speak to that pain.

Wright maintains that “time by itself is not a healer,” but that “Jesus Christ is and has the answer for a bruised heart.” Too often, he says, we encourage one another to “forgive and forget,” a palliative that masks rather than heals pain. Instead, he urges women to acknowledge the very real issues that may exist in their family, to deal with the past, and to chart a new relationship with their fathers based on acceptance and forgiveness. “Forgiveness,” he writes, “is a medicine for pain. It heals the pain of a wounded memory and the hole in the heart as well as seething rage, resentment, and the chokehold of hate.”

THE PERFECT FATHER
Both Miller and Wright acknowledge that there is only one perfect father: our Father in heaven. Many individuals harboring resentment or anger toward their earthly fathers have difficulty trusting in a God who so often calls Himself our Father. Wright notes that “your father can have a tremendous impact upon . . . your belief in God the Father and your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” He says that women who grow up without a dad often see God as untrustworthy, unfaithful, distant, and unpredictable. Miller struggled with these same doubts and suspicions of God. “If our earthly fathers are God’s way of communicating His love for us,” he thought, “then apparently God only loves some of us.”

Leaving this fear and distrust of God behind, both authors assert, requires a realization that, as Miller puts it “our fathers aren’t God. They can help us understand who God is and how good He is, but they can also do a lot of damage. But God is God regardless, and if we take the Bible as true, it’s good to think He is fathering us perfectly.” Wright agrees, noting that Jesus acts as our advocate with the Father, and “because of all that He went through here on earth, combined with His complete knowledge of God, He is the one who can show you the way out of your past. He can show you how to respond, how to turn from denial, and how to face whatever the truth may be, opening up a way for you to move forward in your life.”

Fathers matter immensely in the growth to emotional, social, and spiritual maturity. At their best, they give us a glimpse of the love and care that our heavenly Father lavishes on us. And even at their worst, they point us to the God who created the concept of fatherhood and is the only perfect Father for every son and daughter chosen and adopted into His holy family.

Kristine Steakley is a writer for Prison Fellowship.

-----------------------------------
FOR FURTHER READING
Donald Miller and John MacMurray, To Own a Dragon: Reflections On Growing Up Without A Father (Navpress, 2006).

H. Norman Wright, A Dad-shaped Hole In My Heart (Bethany House, 2005).
Suzanne Fields, “The Love Song of Maureen Dowd,” Townhall.com, 14 November 2005.

“The Trouble with Boys,” Newsweek, 30 January 2006.

Kristine Steakley, “Fumbling Childhood: The Bad Results of a Good Divorce,” BreakPoint Online, 3 November 2005.

“Divorce through a Child’s Eyes: Between Two Worlds,” BreakPoint Commentary, 29 November 2005.

“Psychological Cheerleading: Raising Boys without Men,” BreakPoint Commentary, 27 October 2005.

The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
crapulous: sick from, or marked by, excessive drinking.
parvenu: an upstart; one newly risen in class or economic status.
manse: a large and imposing residence.
uxorious: excessively fond of or submissive to a wife.
Ides: the fifteenth day of March, May, July, and October, and the thirteenth day of the other months.
megalomania: a mental disorder characterized by delusions of grandeur.
verdant: green.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Before you can do something you must first be something." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears." - Marcus Aurelius

"There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education." - Chuang-tzu

"Remember March, the Ides of March remember. Did not great Julius bleed for justice' sake? What villain touched his body, that did stab and not for justice?" - William Shakespeare

"Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs." - Malcolm Forbes

"O Paddy dear, an' did ye hear the news that's goin'; round? The shamrock is by law forbid to grow on Irish ground! No more Saint Patrick's Day we'll keep, his colour can't be seen, For there's a cruel law agin the wearin' o' the Green!" - Unknown
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/

St. Patrick and the Celtic Christians
Teresa Neumann Reporting (Mar 17, 2006)

The phrase "Celtic Christianity" is tossed about a lot these days. But what exactly is it?

A 2001 Religious & Ethics PBS interview shed some light on the subject. Said Bob Abernathy concerning the "rediscovery" of Celtic spirituality: "When the pagan Celts of Ireland were converted to Christianity by St. Patrick in the 5th century, they brought with them their love of nature and friendship and their awareness of the sacred in all the most ordinary parts of life."

Judy Valente noted, "A nomadic tribe that first appeared in Eastern Europe hundreds of years before Christ, the Celts migrated westward, finally settling in the green fields of Ireland. The Celts were fierce warriors, but when they weren't at war they lived simple, agrarian lives. They found meaning in the most routine tasks of life, sacredness in the nature around them, and spiritual sustenance in the close ties of friendship, but they also valued solitude and silence. This is the hushed, beautiful, and brooding landscape that was the Celtic environment."

Chicago lawyer Colleen Grace, who attends Old St. Patrick's Church, agreed. "I think what it's all about is bringing God into the everyday ordinariness of life and really, you know, appreciating the special moments that you have here. In the Celtic way of life, there were prayers for everything; there were prayers for waking up in the morning ; there were prayers for preparing breakfast; prayers for preparing the fire; prayers for putting the fire out at night, and, you know, redoing it the next morning. So just the idea that there could actually be prayerful moments in every small detail of what you do made me, I think, look at things a little bit differently. It's a very joyous way of looking at the world, and I don't think you have to be Catholic or Irish at all to appreciate the joy of living."

Theologian John O'Donohue, who came to Chicago to help establish a center for the study of Celtic spirituality, believes St. Patrick found the Celts receptive to Christianity because they already shared their view of the sacredness of nature and of friendship. "I think that there is, in Celtic spirituality, a rhythm of seeing, which can alter the way that one approaches the world," he said, adding this spontaneous blessing: "May the sense of something absent enlarge our lives and may our souls be as free a s the ever-new waves of the sea. May we succumb to the danger of growth. May we live in the neighborhood of wonder. And may we belong to love with the wildness of dance, and may we know that we are ever embraced in the kind circle of God."

The pastor of St. Patrick's Church in Chicago, Father Jack Wall, gave this insight: "One of the things that is the danger in all of spiritual traditions, no matter what it is, and that is that somehow the spiritual experience pulls you away from the experience of life and living. If it is not leading toward the struggle of creating human community, continuing to transform human institutions, being involved in the human enterprise of trying to build up the Earth, somehow bringing that power of God life into the human expression, it is not true spirituality."

Indeed, St. Patrick's Lorica -- or "morning" prayer, also called a prayer of protection -- is a beautiful, well-known prayer attributed to him which articulates this very concept. Also called The Deer's Cry or I Awake Today it reads in part:

I arise today Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, Through a belief in the Threeness, Through confession of the Oneness Of the Creator of creation.

I arise today through the strength of Heaven the rays of the sun, the radiance of the moon, the splendor of fire, the speed of lightening, the swiftness of the wind, the depth of the sea, the stability of the earth the firmness of rock.

May Christ shield me today against poison and fire, against drowning and wounding, so that I may fulfill my mission and bear fruit in abundance. Christ behind and before me, Christ behind and above me, Christ with me and in me, Christ around and about me, Christ on my right and on my left, Christ when I lie down at night, Christ when I rise in the morning, Christ in the heart of every man who think s of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone that speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

In conclusion then, "Celtic" Christianity -- though different in a variety of ways -- seems to differ from "Roman" Christianity primarily in the area of the believer's perspective of the world. For the Christian coming from a Roman perspective, the world is an enemy not to be trusted or tolerated. For a Celtic Christian, the world is a gift -- fallen like mankind -- but a gift nevertheless. Fickle and dangerous, the world may not be a friend at all times, but it is not THE enemy. Celtic Christians view the world as an exciting medium for evangelization, a planet created for our nourishment and habitation, and something to joyfully experience.

Leave it to the Irish to extract joy where they can find it!

For more fascinating information on Ireland, St. Patrick, and Celtic Christianity, visit the l ink below.

http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2259
More...
http://www.reformation.org/ireland.html

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GCF: Mess Cake

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe

If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@egroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess Specialists) caught from the crew and how they gave back as much as they got. He talked to the Food Service Officer and decided to talk to the cooks and get them to be more cheerful when they served the meals to the sailors coming down the line. A smile and a cheerful comment, a willingness to serve them will reap great benefits he told them.

After his pep talk the Food Service Officer and the Chaplain stood back and watched the food being served.

A new sailor aboard walked down the line but he didn't like anything he saw so he just carried his tray down the line till he got to the desert section. He picked up a saucer containing a large piece of chocolate cake.

The Mess Specialist looked at him, "Is that all you're gonna eat?" he asked.

The sailor said, "Yeah, the rest of it don't look too appetizing."

The Mess Specialist smiled and said, "Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?"

The Chaplain smiled and nudged the Food Service Officer in the ribs,
"I told you my talk did them some good."

The kid said, "Yeah, man, I'd appreciate it."

The cook leaned over and cut the piece of cake on the tray in half.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Home Donations

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can."

"To be sure," said the beleaguered woman, "I'll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each."
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Labor Pains

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website: Subscribe
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When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life.

As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, "Mom, does that hurt?"

"Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries.

"Wow," he continued in awe, "does it hurt the mother too?"
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Wedding Ceremony

Emailed to me another humor list (Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List) -Tom
Subscribe to Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh list at the website:
Subscribe
--------------------------------------------

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief ceremony in front of the congregation.

For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.

"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
_ ____________________________ _

GCF: Nervous Witness

Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
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An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?"

"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."

"Whom did you marry?"

"Well, a woman."

The lawyer bellowed angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"

To which the witness replied meekly, "My sister did."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / Never criticize a man \ \_/ ////
\ / until you've walked a mile \ /
\ _/ in his shoes. That way, if he \_ /
/ / doesn't like what you have to say, \ it'll be OK because you'll be a mile away
and you'll have his shoes.
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / The journey of a thousand miles \ /
\ _/ begins with a broken fan belt \_ /
/ / or a leaky tire. \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Veni, Vedi, Velcro \ /
\ _/ (I came, I saw, I stuck to it) \_ /
/ / \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / Lecture: The art of \ \_/ ////
\ / transferring information from \ /
\ _/ the notes of the lecturer to the \_ /
/ /notes of the students without passing \ through the minds of either.
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It's a shame that \ /
\ _/ stupidity isn't painful! \_ /
/ / \ _ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
[GCFL.net] Wet Clothes

After her son fell into the pond yet again and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated mother sent him to his room and washed and dried his clothes.

A little later, she heard a commotion in the back yard and called out, "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?"

There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter."

Received from Steve Sanderson.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Donald MacDonald

I heard a story recently about a student named Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (in Scotland) who was admitted into the prestigious Oxford University and was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. His clan was so excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but they were concerned how he would do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied in his thick brogue, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and he won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night."

"Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with those awful noisy English neighbors?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

Received from Tim Savage.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Punny Reading

"The Human Brain" by Sara Bellum

"Please Don't Hurt Me" by I. Bruce Easily

"Life Through the Eyes of a Drunk" by Al Coholic

"Thirty Yards to the Outhouse" by Will E. Makeit (illustrated by Betty Wont)

"The Proper Use of Sunscreens" by Justin Casey Burns

"How to Cure Scratching" by Ivan Awfulich

"Discount Alternatives" by Robin Stuff

"How to Save Time" by Terry A. While

Received from Cybersalt Digest.

(-:][:-)

[GCFL.net] Baseball Doctor

Thanks to everyone that donated during the donation drive! Once again it was a success. And now we start another six months of commercial-free good, clean funnies... */

As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season.

When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area.

I heard one man say to his wife, "Look, honey, here comes your anesthesiologist."

Received from You Make Me Laugh.

(-:][:-)

-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.

*Age Hat*

In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger."

"Then I don't want it," retorted the customer.

"I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"

(-:][:-)

*Seat Sacrifice*

On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said,

"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward..."

(-:][:-)

*Time Off*

Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the man.

"How do you think you will do that?" said the other one. He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down.

The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing? "I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off," said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The second worker began walking out too. The boss asked her where did she think she was going?

"Home. I can't work in the dark."

(-:][:-)

*Fair Trial*

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says,

"Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense."

Eye Laugh

"Moose Doctor"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=1

"Cage Match"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=3

"Promise Keeper"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=4

"Signs of Control"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw227

(-:][:-)

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Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/thoughtful.html - - Thoughtful Interview "For a job applicant, an interview is to be sought, then dreaded, then endured. And managers rarely relish interviews any more than the trembling supplicant on the other side of their desk. So it's probably just as well that people can't read minds. If they could..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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U.S. Government RSS Library - - http://www.firstgov.gov/Topics/Reference_Shelf/Libraries/RSS_Library.shtml - - This site provides access to government sites with RSS feeds. Topics include agriculture, business, education, health, international relations, and science. Also includes a link for downloading RSS readers. RSS has several meanings: Really Simple Syndication, Rich Site Summary, and RDF Site Summary, where RDF stands for Resource Data Framework. In any case, it's a method of summarizing the latest news and information from a website, that can be easily read by many news readers or news aggregators.
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Locked Down: Gangs in the Supermax - - http://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/prisongangs/index.html - - Twenty years ago, a new kind of prison was taking America by storm. The supermax prison was designed to incapacitate dangerous criminals by locking them down in stark isolation, sometimes for years on end. So have the supermaxes lived up to their promise of stopping violent criminals? At this American RadioWorks site, former gang members discuss gang affiliation and the stress of debriefing. Their stories offer a rare view inside the locked-down world of the supermax.
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History of Flight from Around the World - - http://www.aiaa.org/content.cfm?pageid=307 - - Many nations gave birth to aviation and the pioneers who propelled its stunning successes. To recognize these contributions, we asked the International Council of Aeronautical Sciences (ICAS) to have each ICAS country identify its pioneers and present the story of its national achievements in aerospace.
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Hurricane Digital Memory Bank: Preserving Stories from the 2005 Hurricane Season - - http://hurricanearchive.org/ - - Hurricane Digital Memory Bank: Preserving Stories from Katrina, Rita, and Wilma uses electronic media to collect, preserve, and present the stories, images, and responses of the devastating 2005 hurricane season.
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Exploring Space: The Quest for Life - - http://www.pbs.org/exploringspace/ - - Our galaxy alone contains hundreds of billions of stars, giving scientists a vast cosmic frontier to search. Could alien life be looking up at its own sky and asking, 'Is there life out there?' This PBS site helps you learn about the amazing quest for life that begins on Earth and extends into the heavens above.
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State Medicaid Benefits - - http://www.kff.org/medicaid/benefits/index.jsp - - This site contains Medicaid Benefits survey data from 2003 and 2004 with information about benefits covered, limits, co-payments and reimbursement methodologies for the 50 states, the District of Columbia and the Territories.
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AnnualReports.com - - http://www.annualreports.com/ - - This free service allows users to review an annual report in an easy and convenient manner. Boasting the most complete and up-to-date listings of annual reports on the internet, AnnualReports.com provides instant access to annual reports in their actual format in one single location. For educated investors, corporate annual reports are the most important research tool available. Annual Reports enable investors to stay up to date on a company's yearly outlook.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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"Life is like a coin, you can spend it any way you want but only once."

May this encourage you always...

Don't spend major time with minor people. If there are people in your life that continually disappoint you, break promises, stomp on your dreams, too judgmental, have different values and don't have your back during difficult times...that is not a friend.

To have a friend, be a friend. Sometimes in life as you grow, your friends will either grow or go. Surround yourself with people who reflect similar values, goals, interests and lifestyle.

When I think of any of my successes, I am thankful to GOD from whom all blessings flow, and to my family and friends that enrich my life.

Over the years my phone book has changed because I changed for the better. At first you think you're going to be alone, but after a while new people show up in your life that make your life so much sweeter and easier to endure.

Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together."

If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens: Chickens Can't Fly!

I love the Lord and thank Him for all that He does in my life, therefore, I'm passing this on. Yes I do love Jesus. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I would be nothing!

Without Him, I am nothing. But with Him, I can do all things.

Phil 4:13 Be Positive - Be Progressive - Take the time to make a Positive difference in someone's life.

Walk by faith
Not by sight

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Receive God's blessings and have a wonderful week!

Thanks to Trina Montgomery
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[Bug's NOTE: We were unable to verify this story but we like it.]

A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!" "God created everything?"
The professor asked. "Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied. The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."

The student became quiet and did not respond to the professor's hypothetical definition.. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?" "Of course", replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?" "What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The other students snickered at the young man's question.The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat.
Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."
Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil. To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.
The young man's name-Albert Einstein

Thanks to Ricky and Sarah Shepherd
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THE FINAL INSPECTION

The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you ?
Have you alw! ays turned the other cheek ?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had! too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

~Author Unknown~

Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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verse of the day -- Harley Hudson

I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.

1 Co 2:3-5 (NASB95)

There are two reasons Paul came to the Corinthians in weakness. The first we discussed last time: Paul wanted the Gospel to speak for itself – he recognized that there is not “I” in “Gospel”. The second has more to do with the hearers.

Of course you recall that Paul’s introduction to the book quickly became a “rant” on sectarianism or divisions among the Corinthians. Some were saying, “I am of Paul. I am of Apollos …” Well, the topic is back. Paul came to the Corinthians in weakness for the Corinthian’s sake. He did not want them influenced by his style. He wanted them to respond to the Gospel because of the Gospel message. He didn’t want them influenced by flowery speech and worldly wisdom.

I’ve heard it too many times to believe that it doesn’t exist in any denominational background in the American church. When speaking to those of a Pentecostal background, some say they came to the Lord because of the ministry of this-or-that minister. Charismatics lean more towards those whose teaching emphasizes the supernatural. “I was saved because so-and-so prophesied over me.” Christian Church folk had their favorite evangelists as do the Baptists. The list could continue, but the point is made. We tend to be swayed because of the style or personality of individual preachers. All too often, those same folk seldom grow beyond the infantile spiritual stage. When the high-powered preacher is gone, they often founder in a quagmire of indifference and confusion. There is no spiritual depth, only a simple faith that has done little to bring transformation.

If this sounds a lot like someone you know, rest assured that the condition is not terminal … if that individual recognizes that salvation comes not from a dynamic preacher but Jesus Christ. I’m not talking about a “church” knowledge of this fact, but a “heart” knowledge. The first is seed planted in shallow soil. The second is planted in rich, deep topsoil. The first will quickly fade. The second will produce abundant fruit.

Paul wanted the Gospel to speak for itself “in demonstration of the Spirit and of power”. It is difficult for us to understand, but when the “I” is removed from the Gospel, ministry is enhanced. The Gospel can speak much louder when we simply act as a conduit rather than a translator. Sure, this is not an easy thing to grasp. We all must learn from Paul’s example. We must get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit minister in power for it is the Gospel’s power that produces solid, mature, reproducing believers who will spread the Good News from shore to shore and pole to pole.

Harley

-=+=-

Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory; but just as it is written, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him.”
1 Co 2:6-9 (NASB95)

It is interesting to watch where people seek wisdom. When I was a kid the catch-phrase was “Confucius say …” Now none of us believed in anything Confucius might say, but it was the “in thing” at that moment. What we didn’t realize was that there were those who really did care. They though someone that old and that oriental just had to be wise. A while later the in thing was the wise man on top of the mountain. The weary pilgrim would eventually crawl to that lofty place and ask his most important question. Usually it went something like this: “What is the meaning of life?” We didn’t really think there was a wise man on top of a mountain who had all of the answers, but there were those who did.

I used to think that science would produce all the answers to all the questions man could ever ask. Lofty scientists would eventually unravel all the mysteries of life and truly give us meaning for being. I still follow scientific news. In some ways science has fulfilled the promise of solving the mysteries, yet the more questions science answers, the more questions there are to be answered.

I recall a car owner’s manual from many years ago. (No, I’m not old enough to really remember it, but I read about it … and not on the internet!) The document actually said that automotive engineering had progressed so far and to such lofty heights that there would never be a car as advanced as that vehicle. The owner was promised the absence of obsolescence. If I recall correctly, that year was back in the ‘40s or ‘50s!

Confucius, oriental mysticism, science, engineering … all promised something that they could not provide. The reason is simple. Wisdom does not come from human systems. Wisdom comes from the One who created everything. Wisdom does not come from observation and education. Wisdom comes from a being that created thought.

It is true that most of us know this fact … at least in a “Sunday school” way. It is in our heads, but is it in our hearts? Are we trusting God to provide … or are we looking for a higher paying job? Are we seeking satisfaction in a relationship with Jesus … or are we desiring the next and best model of __________________? You fill in the blank.

I like the way Paul finishes today’s selection: Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him. Do you want the absolute best? Are you willing to accept things that you can only imagine? Do you desire to see things that even the wildest visionaries have yet to dream? The formula to achieve all of this is simple: Love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. Love him with every ounce of strength you have. Don’t limit Him with your ideas, but trust Him to fulfill His dreams for you.

-=+=-

For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.
1 Co 2:10-13 (NASB95)

Let’s bring ourselves to home plate for a second. Paul, in this section of the letter, is informing us of the superiority of God’s wisdom over man’s wisdom. This is an important teaching because it lays the groundwork for all answers Paul will give to the Corinthian’s questions. Simply put, remember that God’s wisdom is superior to man’s wisdom. Paul will lay on the sarcasm again in a bit, and it is important to remember this lesson.

Now, Paul begins by telling us that no one knows the mind of God better than the Spirit of God. He tells us that the Spirit “searches all things, even the depths of God.” In case we find that hard to understand, Paul draws a word picture for us … and I will make it personal. Who on this planet knows Harley better that the spirit (the most inner and personal part) of Harley? Even Melanie, my best friend and wife, can’t claim to know more about me than I do. I know my shortcomings as well as my good points. I know what I think in the middle of the night … she doesn’t unless I tell her. I am the only one who can plumb the depths of my heart and find what is under the ugliest rock in the darkest recess of my being.

So it is with the Spirit of God. Only He can know the thoughts of God, for He is at the very heart of God. This is important because Paul is disclosing his source for the wisdom of God that he possesses and is available to us. We receive the wisdom of God through the Spirit of God.

With that in mind, let us think through a chronology of our spiritual growth. Sometime in the past we heard the Gospel proclaimed … and we eventually responded to it. That response involved asking Jesus to take over our lives and become our Lord. He graciously applied His blood to us and saved us from the sins of our past … and our present … and our future. According to Ephesians 1, the Holy Spirit was given to us at that time as a seal, earnest money, guaranteeing our place in the family of God, the Church. Since that time, we should have been learning what it means to be a child of the King. We should have learned, or are learning, that as a child of God we have all the rights and privileges that any child has.

Now, let’s ponder the Holy Spirit for a second. What is His role in our spiritual lives? Jesus calls Him a comforter. A better translation might tell us that He is our source of understanding, our source of Godly wisdom, because He speaks to us and teaches us. He is our tutor, our teacher. Paul had the same Spirit working in his life … and that Spirit spoke to and through him to bring the wisdom of God to bear upon all aspects of his life … and the lives of those to whom Paul preached. That would include the Corinthians and, by extension, you and me.

Whew! That was a long way around the mulberry bush to come to this statement. Paul’s wisdom, and our wisdom, is not of this world. It is given to us by the Spirit of God who knows the heart of God and shares it all with us!

-=+=-

But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Co 2:14-16 (NASB95)

Have you ever tried to talk to someone who does not speak English? The conversation usually goes something like this:

“I want a doughnut.”
Unintelligible reply.
“I said,” you repeat very slowly, “I want a doughnut.”
Unintelligible reply.
“Read my lips,” you say with a bit of irritation. “I want a doughnut.”
Unintelligible reply.
“Hey!” you raise your voice as though the person is deaf. “I SAID I WANT A D-O-U-G-H-N-U-T!!!!”
Unintelligible reply.
“Oh, forget it. I’ll find something somewhere else!” And you storm out the door.

That is exactly how a spiritual conversation with a world-loving, non-believing man. He simply cannot understand what you are saying. Even if you translate “church” language into the common vernacular, he is still incapable of putting “Cross” and “Jesus” and “salvation” into a meaningful sentence. He doesn’t accept the things you say because you are an idiot … at least in his mind. The wisdom you have simply eludes comprehension. Paul says they are “spiritually appraised” … whatever that means.

OK. We’ll discuss “spiritually appraised”. First, note that the pronoun “they” appears before the phrase. What does “they” refer to? All pronouns must have an antecedent. Since we are talking about the spiritual man, it could be him … except the spiritual man is singular and referred to as “he” and “him”. So, what else is there in these verses that could be plural? Ah, there it is: “things of the spirit.” The things of the spirit are those things that are spiritually appraised. “Appraised” means compared, or judged, or explained. So, “they are spiritually appraised” means that the things of the spirit are impossible for the natural man to comprehend because these things are spiritual and he is not. He is speaking a foreign language and you are speaking English!

Paul tells us that the spiritual man judges, appraises, compares all things. That means that he looks at everything through “spiritual glasses”. He looks at a sunset and sees the beauty of God. He looks at a microscopic creature and sees the wondrous creative power of God. He watches scientists come up with conflicting conclusions and is simply amazed that these dudes cannot see that God created the microscopic and the complex. They didn’t “evolve”; they were created unique by a power greater than any single or group of men.

Where did the spiritual man get this ability? He has the mind of Christ. Before you get confused, Paul quotes from Isaiah 40:13 when he says: For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? Isaiah says that no one has the mind of Christ … and that was true in Isaiah’s day, but, Paul tells us, we have the mind of Christ. We certainly CAN understand the things of God!

-=+=-

Harley

c. 2006 Harley E. Hudson

If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@sbcglobal.net and request a free subscription.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 44 --- 16 March 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
-----------------------------------------------------

TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Sudoku / PBJ Time

Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, where we haven't had an incident of a swagman stealing a jumpbuck and hiding it in his tucker bag for at least three weeks.

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Newsweek Sudoku
---------------

Sudoku is the abbreviation of the Japanese phrase "suuji wa dokushin ni kagiru" which, depending on translation, means either

"The digits must remain single"
or
"In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the Forty- seven Ronin, and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori!"

Homer Simpson quotes aside, Sudoku is a wildly popular and challenging logic puzzle You've probably seen it in your local newspaper. In Sudoku,

you are given a 9x9 grid. Some of the grid squares already contain numbers -- you cannot change these. To work the puzzle, fill in the empty squares of the grid with the numerals 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9.

The puzzle is solved when each ROW, each COLUMN, and each 3x3 square within the puzzle contain the numerals 1 through 9 with each numeral appearing once. The 3x3 squares are differentiated by shading. [Source: Newsweek Sudoku Help]

You already knew that, didn't you? Well, what you may not know is that our friends at Newsweek magazine, with the help of uclick, have a free web page that lets you play Sudoku online:

http://www.uclick.com/client/nwk/nwdoc/

Three Sudoku puzzles are available every day. (1) The normal 9x9 puzzle we all know and love; (2) A smaller 6x6 mini puzzle. This is a great place to start if you've never played Sudoku before; (3) A massive 16x16 puzzle that uses both numbers and letters. This is not for the faint of heart.

Newsweek's Sudoku puzzles also offer both a cheat and a bug. The cheat is that if you click in an empty square and then press the spacebar on your keyboard, Newsweek will automatically show you the entries which are possible for each square. This makes the puzzles MUCH easier, although the "hints" in the mega puzzles are so small they're almost illegible.

As for the bug, the first time you complete a row, column, or square, the game will display an "About the Lights" pop-up box. At the bottom of the box are the words "Don't show this message the next time I play this game" but [at least on my computer] there is no checkbox. Well, there is a check box, it's just invisible. Move your pointer to the left of the "Don't show this..." sentence and, if you're lucky, your pointer will change into a finger. Click your mouse, and then close the pop-up window. Problem solved.

If you are addicted to Sudoku, or if you have never played it and want to see what everyone is talking about, hop on over to Newsweek's free Sudoku page and watch the hours slowly disappear from your life. :)

----------------------
Info for Web Designers
----------------------

[Warning: This next part is kind of advanced stuff. Please accept my apologies in advance.]

If you create web pages that display active content such as embedded QuickTime movies, RealPlayer movies, Java Applets, or Flash, Shockwave, or Authorware players, check out

http://www.macromedia.com/devnet/activecontent/

In their February 26-ish Windows/Microsoft Update, our friends in Redmond fundamentally changed the way Internet Explorer handles embedded, active content. From here forward, "Active content that is embedded in HTML pages in certain ways will not be able to receive user input (for example, keyboard or mouse events) until the user clicks to either activate or continue loading the control." You can find a short Breeze presentation on this topic, and a possible fix [a js "design around" solution], at

http://adobe.breezecentral.com/activecontent022606/

-------------------------------------
Meme Review: Peanut Butter Jelly Time
-------------------------------------

I want to spend some time over the next couple of months re-introducing you to different internet phenomena, the stuff that was once really, really popular and then quickly fell out of favor. Think of this as an internet pop culture history tour. Today's stop is at

http://home.comcast.net/~etrata/flash/banana.swf

This is what happens when you throw together an old Buckwheat Boys song, a copy of Macromedia Flash, and way too much free time.

Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.

==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Investing for Retirement Class at SAU - Tuesday, April 4
Dr. David Ashby, the Peoples Bank Professor of Economics at SAU, will advise people about investing for retirement. This course will cover the basics of retirement planning from calculating how much is needed, to what type of accounts to use, to where to invest the money. Participants will learn how to save income taxes while saving for retirement. The class will also look at how mutual funds can simplify the whole process.
This class will be offered from 6 to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, April 4, in Business 205.
There is no charge to participate in this course.
~~~
Albemarle Steak and Bingo Supper - April 22, 2006
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/

01. Lance Cpl. Bunny Long, 22, of Modesto, Calif., died March 10 from a suicide, vehicle-borne, improvised explosive device in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Headquarters Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.

02. Lance Cpl. Nicholas R. Anderson, 21, of Sauk City, Wis., died March 13 in a non-hostile vehicle accident in Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

03. Lance Cpl. Kristen K. Figueroa, 20, of Honolulu, Hawaii, died March 12 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Twentynine Palms, Calif.

The Department of Defense announced the death of four soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died west of Asadabad, Afghanistan, on March 12, when an improvised explosive device detonated near their HMMWV during combat operations. Killed were:
04. Staff Sgt. Joseph, R. Ray, 29, of Asheville, N.C. Ray was assigned to the Army Reserve's 391st Engineer Battalion, Asheville, N.C.
05. Sgt. Kevin D. Akins, 29, of Burnsville, N.C. Akins was assigned to the Army Reserve's 391st Engineer Battalion, Asheville, N.C.
06. Sgt. Anton J. Hiett, 25, of Mount Airy, N.C. Hiett was assigned to the Army Reserve's 391st Engineer Battalion, Greenville, S.C.
07. Spc. Joshua L. Hill, 24, of Fairmount, Ind. Hill was assigned to the Army Reserve's 391st Engineer Battalion, Asheville, N.C.

08. Staff Sgt. Bryan A. Lewis, 32, of Bunkie, La., died north of Rustamiyah, Iraq, on March 13, when an improvised device detonated near his HMMWV during a convoy operations. Lewis was assigned to the 519th Military Police Battalion, 49th Military Police Brigade, Fort Polk La.

09. Pfc. Angelo A. Zawaydeh, 19, of San Bruno, Calif., died in Baghdad, Iraq on March 15, when his traffic control point came under mortar attack during combat operations. Zawaydeh was assigned to the Army's 2nd Battalion, 502nd Infantry, 2nd Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died near Ar Ramadi, Iraq on March 13, when they came under small arms fire and an improvised explosive device detonated during combat operations. Killed were:
10. Staff Sgt. Marco, A. Silva, 27, of Alva, Fla. Silva was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
11. Sgt. Corey A. Dan, 22, of Norway, Maine. Dan was assigned the Army's 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.

http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making my Anniversary Present list. (Well, I did get a new medicine bag for my birthday.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
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Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
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"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
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MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
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MCC - Early Morning Prayer - Monday - Friday, From 6:30 am to 8:00 am
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MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
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Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.

God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Isa 43:11-13 2 Cor 5:21 Rom 9:20-21 Heb 12:25-27 Lam 3:19-26 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII

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