Volume 8, Issue 12 Friday, March 24, 2006
Hello ALL,
Thanks to my church family for praying for me Sunday. I’d been suffering with a sore toe and it was a “bear” Sunday. Monday, the pain was almost all gone but Dr. Murphy still told me to lay off work and put me on Antibiotics for the infection. The good part was that I got whirlpool treatments at the hospital every morning. I could get used to that. Then Tuesday, my blood test showed my counts had dipped again. Which was not as bad as it could have been. So far it hasn’t kicked off the severe back pain like previous dips in my hemoglobin. And, since I was already cutting back on work, I’ve had time to nap more.
As of this writing, the toe is improving and I’m hoping a fresh “Lot” of EPO that’s coming in next week will boost the blood counts.
~~~~~
A friend told me that she and her husband purchased their first “King Size” bed last week. “So what?” You say.
The punch line is WHY they finally bought a “King Size” bed. They invested in a Bed upgrade because there wasn’t enough room for them and their two black labs.
Isn’t there a Jeff Foxworthy quote for this? Something like . . . “You may be a redneck if you buy a bigger bed to make room for the dogs.”
~~~~~
Our friend Terry Stockdale sent us this information about his sister-in-law, Jean Stockdale’s ministry - Standing Near the Cross "Without a doubt, the driving passion of my life is to share the radical transforming power of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."
With these words, Jean Stockdale begins her web site Jean Stockdale - Standing Near the Cross. - - http://www.thenextwindow.com/exit.php?url_id=1276&entry_id=222
Practical, humorous, and insightful are just a few words that describe the teaching ministry of Jean Stockdale. God has blessed her with a unique ability to teach profound Biblical principles while using practical illustrations, personal life message, and a sprinkling of sanctified humor.
Jean's Speaking Ministry [http://www.thenextwindow.com/exit.php?url_id=1274&entry_id=222] has taken her across the United States to speak at churches and Christian women's rallies. Through 16 years of her MOMS Ministry, she has helped countless young mothers as they struggled with today's hectic world and including their loves of the Lord, their husbands, and their families.
Visit her web site Jean Stockdale - Standing Near the Cross [http://www.thenextwindow.com/exit.php?url_id=1276&entry_id=222] to read more about Jean, her Speaking Ministry and her MOMS Ministry. Jean lives near Memphis Tennessee and is available for speaking engagements across the country through The Mitchell Group. - - http://www.thenextwindow.com/exit.php?url_id=1277&entry_id=222
http://www.thenextwindow.com/
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I attended the County Wide “AWIN” radio training session Thursday night. These digital 800 MHZ radios have been installed in all fire, law and emergency response agencies. They give us CRYSTAL CLEAR communications throughout the county and the state. I’ve been listening to the Arkansas Department of Emergency Management and the traffic from all over the state is static free.
Now if we just had enough money to outfit EVERY emergency vehicle and responder in the county. Maybe we could go up to Hope and sell a few trailers for the funds?
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The photos on the front of this weeks “Bleat” include shots of our Albemarle Rescue Team training on “Rope Rescue.”
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We’ve been watching the movies of Preston Sturges, writer and director. Our favorites (so far) are “Palm Beach Story” and “Lady Eve.”
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Please pray for David Kirkpatrick’s wife, Sandy Kirkpatrick, who is in Baptist Hospital in Little Rock.
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Three Christian Activists Rescued in Iraq
By BASSEM MROUE
Associated Press Writer
BAGHDAD, Iraq
A coalition force on Thursday freed three Christian peace activists taken hostage in Iraq, ending a four-month hostage drama in which an American among the group was shot to death and dumped on a Baghdad street.
The Iraqi Interior Ministry said the captives were rescued in a joint U.S.-British operation in rural area northwest of Baghdad, between the towns of Mishahda, 20 miles north of Baghdad, and the western suburb of Abu Ghraib, 12 miles from downtown.
British officials in Baghdad said those freed were Canadians James Loney, 41, and Harmeet Singh Sooden, 32; and Briton Norman Kember, 74. The men _ members of the Chicago-based Christian Peacemaker Teams _ were kidnapped on Nov. 26 along with their American colleague, Tom Fox, 54, whose body was found earlier this month.
Speaking in Toronto, Doug Pritchard, co-director of the group, said no shots were fired during the operation and that the kidnappers were not present when the U.S.-British force freed the hostages. U.S. and British military officials did not provide details of the operation.
In London, British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said Kember was in "reasonable condition" in Baghdad's heavily fortified Green Zone. The two Canadians required hospital treatment, he said, but gave no further details.
Straw also gave few details of the operation, saying only that it followed "weeks and weeks" of planning.
British Prime Minister Tony Blair's office said he was "delighted by the news" of the trio's release. "He is particularly pleased for those released and their families. He congratulates everyone involved in the operation to rescue the hostages," Downing Street said in a statement.
Loney's brother, Ed Loney, told CBC television that his mother had spoken with Loney on the phone and he sounded "fantastic."
"He's alert and he was asking how we were doing and said he was sorry for the whole situation," Ed Loney said. "My mom said, 'Don't worry about it _ just get home and we'll talk about all that stuff when you get here.'"
The kidnapped men were shown as prisoners in several videos, the most recent a silent clip dated Feb. 28 in which Loney, Kember and Sooden appeared without Fox. Fox's body was found March 10 near a west Baghdad railway line with gunshot wounds to his head and chest.
The previously unknown Swords of Righteousness Brigades claimed responsibility for the kidnappings.
In a statement, the Christian Peacemaker Teams said the activists went to Iraq "motivated by a passion for justice and peace." The group called for coalition forces to remove their troops from the country.
"We believe that the illegal occupation of Iraq by Multinational Forces is the root cause of the insecurity which led to this kidnapping and so much pain and suffering in Iraq," the statement said.
Other Americans taken hostage in Iraq and killed in addition to Fox were Ronald Schulz, 40, an industrial electrician from Anchorage, Alaska; Jack Hensley, 48, a civil engineer from Marietta, Ga.; Eugene "Jack" Armstrong, 52, formerly of Hillsdale, Mich.; and Nicholas Berg, 26, a businessman from West Chester, Pa.
Still missing is Jill Carroll, a freelance writer for The Christian Science Monitor who was kidnapped Jan. 7 in Baghdad. She has appeared in three videotapes delivered by her kidnappers to Arab satellite television stations.
The last hostage to be freed in a military operation was Douglas Wood, an Australian rescued in west Baghdad by U.S. and Iraqi forces on June 15 after 47 days in captivity.
On the Net: - - Christian Peacemaker Teams: http://www.cpt.org/
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This week, Michael Yon commented on Iraq and it’s violence.
~
Anyone Smell Smoke?
The Iraqi Civil War
Nobody knows what the future will bring for Iraq. In my opinion, it’s already in a civil war, though many people seem afraid to say it. Actually, the reluctance is more likely ordinal in nature–-no one wants to be the first to say what many know to be true. Many now-stable democracies have suffered civil wars.
Democracy, despite its inherent nobility, is seldom easy or pretty. At its best, democracy is a reflection of the “people,” and we all know what “they” are like.
- (Mission Impossible, Mission Accomplished 23 February 2005)
I wrote those words more than one year ago. Hatred that has been pressurized is a potent and malevolent fuel. Although I’d been in Iraq for just two months, I’d seen enough to know it was too late to talk about hiding the matches—a fire had broken out. The tangled briars of tribal enmities had overgrown, dense from decades of Saddam Hussein’s genocidal death squads. Wrenching that dictatorship changed the political landscape and in the process pumped fresh air into a smoldering fire.
Throughout 2005, I said in writing, on the radio and television that Iraq is in a state of Civil War. It had been in that state for decades. I’d point to all the kindling heaped around the country and point to the smoke on the horizon, but most people politely dismissed the warnings. Now the fire is bigger. Listen. Listen! Iraq is in a state of Civil War. Much bigger than it was a year ago, and next year it will be bigger still, if we do not recognize that there is a FIRE!
There is no reason why Iraq and its proud people cannot make it. There is nothing written in any holy scripture – so far as I know – that says Iraq cannot make it. Iraq can, but will it? Not if we don’t stop quibbling over definitions and just come to grips that the fire is growing. This is not a fire we can afford to leave to natural forces. Not in that tinderbox we call the Middle East.
http://michaelyon-online.com/
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Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
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Mark Twain once said; “There are lies, danged lies, and statistics.” I was reminded of that by the news story about the number of pieces of luggage lost by the airlines each year. An estimated 30 million bags were temporarily lost by airlines in 2005, and 200,000 of those bags (many of which end up at Unclaimed Baggage Center of Scottsboro, AL - - http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/) were never reunited with their owners, according to an industry report released Monday.
The “good” news is that the 30 million misdirected bags comprised only 1 percent of the 3 billion bags processed last year by airports.
Only statistics could make 30 million missing bags insignificant (“only 1 percent”). I wonder what the statistics are for lost travelers?
~~~~~
The Barksdale AFB Holiday in Dixie "Defenders Of Liberty" Big Air show Saturday and Sunday, May 13-14, gates open at 9:00 am, Show starts at 10:00 am
9:00 AM - 11:00 AM
Radio Controlled aircraft
Dave Leedom and Gary Boucher
Luke Lambard demo
9:30 AM (Saturday Only)
United States Marine Reserves
Iraqi Freedom Formation and Medals Ceremony
11:00 AM - 12:00 PM
B-52 Wall of Fire
MiG-17 demo
B-1 fly-by
Jimmy Franklin & Shockwave tease
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM
National Anthem and Airshow Welcome
Black Dagger Parachute Team
Tora! Tora! Tora!
1:00 PM - 2:00PM
Greg Poe demo
Jimmy Franklin Jet-Powered Waco
2:00 PM - 3:00 PM
A-10 demo team
B-17
B-24
B-25
P-51
Heritage flight (A-10, P-51)
Ed Hamill demo
Shockwave
3:00 PM - 4:00 PM
USN Blue Angels
*Performers and times are subject to change
http://www.barksdaleairshow.org/schedule.php
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We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com. Older issues can be found at bugsbleat.blogspot.com, bugsbleatnew.blogspot.com, and bugsbleat4q.blogspot.com.
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Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
www.aaa.com Regular
Current Avg. $ 2.50
http://www.fuelgaugereport.com/
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Recipe(s) of the week - We’re sharing recipes from Shannon Voigt’s new Taylor Recipe Book
Howard’s Chili - Novie Gordon (Mrs. Gordon was one of my elementary school teacher at Taylor.)
Ingredients:
5 lb ground beef
4-5 cloves garlic
3 large onions
¾ cup chili powder
1 Tbsp. salt
1 ½ tsp. white pepper
1 Tbsp. cumin seed
1 ½ Tbsp. cumin powder
1 can tomato paste
3 cups water
1 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. sugar
Method:
Grind garlic and onions in food processor until a pulp. Cook in large kettle with ground beef until done, stirring constantly. Add chili powder. Add salt. Add all other ingredients except sugar. Cook slowly for several hours. Stir occasionally and check if extra seasoning is needed. (Howard checks his chili several times for additional seasoning, if needed.) Add sugar just before removing from heat. For better taste, let stand before serving.
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BreakPoint With Chuck Colson
Overcoming the Clash of Civilizations
The Bible and Other Faiths
March 24, 2006
Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.
The clash of civilizations is a term most of us are familiar with. But it’s more than just a catchphrase or a book title. It’s a grim reality that we live with every day, as we deal with acts of religiously inspired terrorism.
In such a difficult and often frightening situation, how should we live? How do we relate to the people of different backgrounds and beliefs that we see every day? And going beyond that, how do we talk to them to about Christ? In these tense times, we’re in need of a thorough and practical answer.
Ida Glaser helps us to meet that need in her new book, The Bible and Other Faiths: Christian Responsibility in a World of Religions. Glaser is uniquely qualified for the task. She is the daughter of a Christian mother and a Jewish father who later converted to Christianity. She has spent her entire career working with international students and studying interfaith relations.
In her book, as her subtitle suggests, she focuses on the responsibilities that Christians have in dealing with their neighbors of other faiths. Glaser acknowledges the difficulties and problems in dealing with people of other beliefs. But she calls us to account for our own behavior.
Tragically, Glaser has seen situations where Christians have killed in the name of religion—in Nigeria, for instance, when Christian youths killed Muslims who tried to pass their roadblocks. More commonly, Glaser has known Christians whose skewed theology has led them to look down on people of other faiths and to think that some people groups are inherently better than others.
Glaser takes us where we need to go—back to the Bible—to emphasize that God’s care and provision has always been for all people, as demonstrated by Christ’s death on the cross. Looking at current events in the Middle East, for example, Glaser says, “Whatever their interpretation of the current state of Israel, Christians have no basis either to treat the Jews as people whom God hates or to treat Israel’s enemies as people whom God hates. Any theology which leads either to hatred of Jews or to hatred of Muslims must be wrong in itself or be wrongly applied.”
This truth has radical implications about how you and I as Christians should live our lives and deeply convicts many of us. Both Chuck and I take seriously the words of God in Genesis 12:2, where He blesses Israel and says, “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.” Therefore, we have an especially strong attachment to Israel and the Jewish cause. Chuck has also spoken many times of our support for Israel, because it is a beacon for democracy in that troubled region. But that’s no excuse for hating Arabs and Muslims. The fact is that we have a Savior who came for all people.
This is the very point our founding fathers understood when they wrote in the Declaration of Independence, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.”
Glaser’s book, The Bible and Other Faiths, can be a helpful guide for Christians to look beyond the barriers that separate us from our neighbors. Its central message is one that we need to take to heart: We can only share the Gospel of Christ and the hope of Christ with other people, however great our differences, when they know that we care about them and respect them as human beings made in the image of God.
--------------------------------------------
For further reading and information:
Today’s BreakPoint offer: Subscribe today to BreakPoint WorldView magazine. Call 1-877-322-5527.
Ida Glaser, The Bible and Other Faiths: Christian Responsibility in a World of Religions (InterVarsity, 2005).
BreakPoint Commentary No. 030218, “Covenant and Conflict: Israel’s Place in the World Today.”
“Christian Relief Opens Door of Faith to Pakistani Muslims,” Christian Post, 24 December 2005.
Luanne Austin, “The Opportunity to Love Our Enemies,” BreakPoint Online, 2001.
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004 Prison Fellowship.
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
amalgam: an alloy of mercury with other metals; also, a mixture.
dudgeon: a state or fit of intense indignation.
paragon: a model of excellence or perfection.
aubade: a song greeting the dawn.
succor: aid; help; also, to help or relieve.
paterfamilias: the male head of a household; the father of a family.
stolid: unexcitable; unemotional.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art. Even more. It is the revenge of the intellect upon the world. To interpret is to impoverish, to deplete the world - in order to set up a shadow world of 'meanings.' " - Susan Sontag
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore
"Spring in the world! And all things are made new!" - Richard Hovey
"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from." - Elisabeth KuBler-Ross
"I look upon every day to be lost, in which I do not make a new acquaintance." - Samuel Johnson
"Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself." - Anthony Trollope
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
U.S. Secretary of State Rice, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper Phone Afghan President Karzai Concerning Christian Convert
News staff / Aimee Herd reporting (Mar 24, 2006)
Some reports say Abdul Rahman may be released soon. - - http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2291
Israel and Its Christian Support Base Linked by New Christian Edition of The Jerusalem Post
Michael Ireland / Aimee Herd reporting (Mar 22, 2006)
According to a report in ANS, The Jerusalem Post is now partnering with the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem on the new edition. - - http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2283
"Stunning" Gallup Poll Reveals Christianity Growing in Japan
Michael Ireland/Teresa Neumann Reporting (Mar 21, 2006)
"In my 50 years of polling, there has been no study that I would consider as important as this one . . ." - - http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2278
Prayer Alert: Cyclone Larry Wreaks Havoc on Coast of Australia -- Leaves Thousands Homeless
Meraiah Foley / Aimee Herd reporting (Mar 20, 2006)
"The damage to dwellings is very extensive. Thank heavens it does not appear as though there have been any very serious injuries." - - http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=2275
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GCF: Bonus
Emailed to me from another humor list (You Make Me Laugh) -Tom To subscribe to You Make Me Laugh, send a blank email to: SUBSCRIBE-laugh@lists.crosswalk.com
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. Just send an email to: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit the Good Clean Fun web site http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor/ Unsubscribe info for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent.
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(Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.)
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Young Patients
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
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A pediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at ease and test their knowledge of body parts.
One day, while pointing to a Little boy's ear, the doctor asked him, "Is this your nose?"
Immediately the little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mom, I think we'd better find a new doctor!"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Considerate?
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -Tom To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to: martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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As I was on the way home from a long and stressful day at the office, the car phone rang. It was my husband. "Will you be joining me in the whirlpool bath tonight?" he asked. "What a lovely way to spend an evening," I thought. I was about to tell him how considerate he was when he continued, "Because if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Don't Ignore the Kids
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
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The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.
"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."
"How?"
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Hopeless Pupil
Emailed to me by a friend (Thanks, Howard) -Tom
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"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other."
"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears."
"You see, sir? I'm no good at math, either."
_ ____________________________ _
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / "They laughed at Joan of Arc, \ /
\ _/ but she went right ahead \_ /
/ / and built it." \ - Gracie Allen
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / A road map will tell us \ /
\ _/ everything we need to know... \_ /
/ / except how to fold it up again. \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / \ /
\ _/ If I'm not back in 5 minutes, \_ /
/ / wait longer... \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / I joined a health club last \ \_/ ////
\ / year, spent about 400 bucks. \ /
\ _/ Haven't lost a pound. \_ /
/ / Apparently you have to show up. \ (((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_ \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / If you are going to try \ /
\ _/ cross-country skiing, \_ /
/ / start with a small country. \ _ ____________________________ _
/ ) Thomas S. Ellsworth ( / / tellswor@slonet.org \ _( (_ http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor _) )_
(((\ \>_/ )_______________________( \_Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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[GCFL.net] Kid Comments
* A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth?" One little girl spoke up: "According to my daddy -- terrible!"
* Trying to come to the aid of his father, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the little tyke piped up, "Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!"
* Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said, "Let's play doctor." "Good idea," said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue."
* I guess you can get too health conscious... The wife and I don't have a lot of "junk food" in the house. Upon eating a snack of some munchies or other, my grandson asked what vitamins they had in them. I told him I doubted there were any at all. He replied wide-eyed, "You mean these are just for fun?"
Received from You Make Me Laugh.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Warning Sign
I recently attended a small business-marketing seminar at which the speaker used actual examples to reinforce her teaching points. She told a delightful story about a coffee shop that distinguished itself from the competition by prominently displaying a warning sign that read: "Unattended children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy!"
Received from Jay T.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] New Patio
My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.
He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.
Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"
Received from Steve Sanderson.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Collect Call
My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"
Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
Received from Cybersalt Digest.
(-:][:-)
[GCFL.net] Head Check
One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head.
Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.
When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead.
It read: "My name is Daniel."
Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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"The Lie-Clock"
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks.
Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have
never moved, indicating that she never
told a lie."
"Incredible", said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Clinton's clock?" asked the man.
"Clinton's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Thanks to Norma Kay
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Hillary Clinton was spending the morning at a primary school in Ithaca, New York talking to the children about her job as a US Senator. After her talk, she offered question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.
"My name is Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
And third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rang for recess. Hillary Clinton informed the kids that they would continue after recess. When they resumed, Hillary said, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time.
Who has a question?"
A different little boy raised his hand; the esteemed Senator from New York pointed him out and asked him what his name is.
"My name is Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have five questions:
First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?
Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And fifth - What happened to Kenneth?..."
Thanks to Eric Morrison
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This is what happens when you don't listen.
When Osama bin Laden died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates.
He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"
Thanks to Eric Morrison
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LETTER FROM CAMP
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our Royal Ranger Commander told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Commander Mike got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Commander Mike gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Commander Mike said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24.
He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Commander Mike is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver.In fact, he is teaching Jesse how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Commander Mike wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast--it's concrete ( because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out, instead. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Commander Mike isn't crabby like some commanders. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Steven and I threw up, but Commander Mike said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in the Marines in Nam.
I'm so glad he got out of the Marines and became our commander. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a section ate?
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some more dynamite and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.
Love, Grant
Thanks to Daphne Roberts
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Welcome to You Make Me Laugh, a free newsletter from Crosswalk.com, the world's largest Christian website.
*Ten for Sure*
My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.
After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.
"Everything's fine, Folks," he reassured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items."
(-:][:-)
*Parts is Parts*
A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead.
Furious at the factory's incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind.
Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: "TURN THE PART OVER."
(-:][:-)
*Four Letter Surgery*
Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm ok but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
(-:][:-)
*Poor Vagabond*
A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon."
He knocked gently on the door.
The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window.
"Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked politely.
The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly.
"Could I just have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she said again.
"Could I at least sleep in your stable?"
"No!" by this time she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond said, "Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.
"D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?"
(-:][:-)
*Harmonica Gift*
Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said to his Uncle Rodney, the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."
"That's great," said his Uncle Rodney. "Do you know how to play it?"
"Oh, I don't play it," Little Johnny said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."
(-:][:-)
Eye Laugh
"Central Squirrel"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=7
"Body by Home Depot"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw228
"Snowman Preaching"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=8
"Branch Office"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=9
"Cat Kung Fu"
http://www.cybersalt.org/g06.php?id=10
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Daily devotionals are available at http://link.Crosswalk.Com/UM/T.asp?A1. 39. 17757. 1. 494611 You can access more information on Crosswalk's Fun page http://www.Crosswalk.Com/fun/! Crosswalk gives credit to the author of a joke when author is known. Feel free to send notification to admin@cybersalt.org in cases where credit has not been given to the author! -SUBSCRIPTION INFO- * Copyright2004 Crosswalk.Com, Inc. and its Content Providers. All rights reserved. Introducing www.Crossguide.Com Where Christians find Products, Services & Ministries.
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/secret_shopper.html - - Secret Shopper "'I'm not going in there. No way. Forget it.' My seventy-something mother's stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I'd just suggested..."
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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Science News for Kids - - http://www.sciencenewsforkids.org/ - - Science News for Kids is a new Web site devoted to science news for children of ages 9 to 13. Our goal is to offer timely items of interest to kids, accompanied by suggestions for hands-on activities, books, articles, Web resources, and other useful materials. Our emphasis is on making the Web site appealing by offering kids opportunities to comment on the subject matter, ask questions of scientists featured in articles, try out mathematical puzzles, and submit their own work for possible Web publication. At the same time, we are interested in offering teachers creative ways of using science news in their classrooms.
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Body Mass Index - - http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/ - - The term BMI is often used when discussing the obesity epidemic, but what is BMI? BMI stands for Body Mass Index. It is a number that shows body weight adjusted for height. BMI can be calculated with simple math using inches and pounds, or meters and kilograms. For adults aged 20 years or older, BMI falls into one of these categories: underweight, normal, overweight, or obese.
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The New Military? American Troop Strength - - http://www.pbs.org/now/politics/troopsforiraq.html - - Companion site to PBS special on American troop strength. American troop strength is still close to the lowest levels since the beginning of the Cold War - the high for active duty Army personnel was reached in 1968 at 1,570,343. In December, 2004 that figure stood at 494,112.
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Google Mars - - http://www.google.com/mars/ - - In collaboration with NASA researchers at
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Arizona State University, Google has created some of the most detailed scientific maps of Mars ever made. Related site: NASA Mars Mission Home Page - - http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/
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FirstGov: Government Science Portal - - http://www.science.gov/ - - This gateway to government science information allows searches across 30 databases and more than 1,700 science Web sites. Science.gov currently accesses over 47 million pages of government science information.
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Women in Broadcasting History - - http://www.lib.umd.edu/LAB/exhibits/leadingrole/ - - The Library of American Broadcasting at the University of Maryland holds an assortment of archival collections pertaining to women's contributions to American radio and television. This exhibit offers a sampling of items drawn from those collections. The exhibit provides a glimpse into the lives and careers of 16 American women who worked in broadcasting during its most crucial years of development and expansion, in the mid-20th century.
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Science of Gardening - - http://www.exploratorium.edu/gardening/ - - Like all great endeavors, gardening is both a science and an art. This Exploratorium site demonstrates how the plants we tend feed our bodies, our minds, and our senses.
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------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 23, 2006
Today's Message is from Doug Thompson (a Houston Albemarle employee).
Storing and Using Household Chemicals
Here are some helpful hints.
Keep products in their original containers.
Always store containers upright, not on their side.
Make sure labels are securely fixed to containers and are readable.
Keep chemicals in a cool, dry place, out of reach of children and pets.
Never mix products together. The results could be dangerous - even deadly.
Buy only what you need and use it all up.
Share extras (such as leftover paint) with friends and neighbors.
Source - Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ)
http://163.234.20.106/assistance/hhw/store_use.html
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 22, 2006
Dangerous Combination of Chemicals
Safety From The Heart by John McIver
Saturday morning, my wife decided to remove some scuff marks from the floor in the kitchen. While cleaning, she decided to move the stove out from the wall and clean from behind it. She tried Spic & Span and water. This did not remove the soiled area, so she tried Greased Lightning in the spray bottle. This also did not remove the soiled area. So she resorted to
Clorox.
When she poured the Clorox on the area, she saw vapors rising. She immediately smelled the fumes of the fatal mixture. She covered her mouth and nose with her arm to prevent being overcome with fumes. Being in poor health, she was lucky that she could get to the back door to get fresh air.
I was asleep in the recliner and she decided she better check on me to see if I was OK. We both were OK, but this could have resulted in an emergency situation. It took several hours for her to stop coughing and for her nose and eyes to stop watering from this dangerous combination of chemicals.
Please be careful when mixing any household cleaning products.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 21, 2006
Another Fire Related Death
Today's Message is from Dick Waller (a Houston Albemarle employee).
I was thinking, what could I tell you folks about day-to-day safety that you haven't already heard. I did not want to repeat anything you have heard over and over.... that was until 2:30 a.m. this morning. I responded to a house fire in the city. There was a victim and I was the one who found her.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE check your smoke detector. Make sure it's working properly. If you don't have a smoke detector, get one. Get it installed, don't make another fireman have to find you or your loved one like I did today.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 20, 2006
Fire Fatalities in Orangeburg
Today's Safety From the Heart message was submitted by Keith Black.
Having been in the fire service for a number of years it seems like we hear more now than ever before about fire-related deaths. Fire death tragedies have been all around us so far in 2006, three deaths within a twenty-mile radius of Orangeburg last week. This is truly hard for me to understand with all the modern devices we have to prevent this from happening. Having been closely involved with one of these fatalities, which was a ten-year-old boy, makes me think that as responsible adults we are obligated to see that our families are safe.
Now how do we do that? Spend lots of money on high dollar smoke detectors and fire alarm systems. NO. Good planning with our families is the best prevention -- having regular discussions and developing escape routes for each family member. Each area of the home should have several planned escape routes. You will be surprised at how well a five or six-year-old child will remember what to do in an emergency, but it is up to us to see that they are taught how to do them.
The ten-year-old I spoke of earlier would not have been a statistic if the family would have had planned escape routes. How do I know this? I found him sitting up in his bed less than two feet away from his bedroom window.
------------ Safety From The Heart ----------
March 17, 2006
Hesitate When the Light Turns Green
Prepared by Joe Sanders, BRT employee
Traffic around Baton Rouge has been and continues to be quite heavy. The simple trips now take longer than they did a year ago. Many of us have not changed our habits and do not allow more time to get from point to point. People seem anxious and more willing to take chances as they drive. I have noticed an even greater number of drivers since the Katrina population boom that speed up as traffic signals turn to yellow then red, rather than sit through another cycle. This seems particularly true in the parish outside of the city limit.
When the signal turns green, please hesitate long enough to be sure the intersection is clear. If someone runs the light and hits you, even though you may be legally in the right, you can still be injured.
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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After Reading THIS, you'll NEVER look at a banana in the same way again!
Bananas Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS:
Forget the pills -- eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia:
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation:
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers:
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn:
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness:
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves:
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers:
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control:
Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking:
Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes:
According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
Thanks to Norma Kay
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I sat in my seat of the Boeing 767 waiting for everyone to hurry and stow their carry-ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure to be a long, uneventful flight home.
With the huge capacity and slow moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very well. I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on my issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these clowns to get their act together.
I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed thru the "Sky Mall" magazine from the seat pocket in front of me.
You know it's really getting rough when you resort to the over priced, useless sky mall crap to break the monotony.
With everyone finally seated, we just sat there with the cabin door open and no one in any hurry to get us going although we were well past the scheduled take off time.
No wonder the airline industry is in trouble I told myself.
Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we were being delayed.
The entire plane let out a collective groan.
She resumed speaking to say "We are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane and the delay shouldn't be more than 5 minutes.
The word came after waiting six times as long as we were promised that I was finally going to be on my way home.
Why the hoopla over "these" folks?
I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be the reason for the hold up ..
Just get their butts in a seat and let's hit the gas I thought.
The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several U.S. Marines returning home from Iraq!!!
Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into applause.
The men were a bit taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering for them as they searched for their seats.
They were having their hands shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Marines as he passed by her.
The applause, whistles and cheering didn't stop for a long time.
When we were finally airborne, I was not the only civilian checking his conscience as to the delays in "me" getting home, finding my easy chair, a cold beverage and the remote in my hand.
These men had done for all of us and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my" issues I took for granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American way of life.
I took for granted that others had paid the price for my ability to moan and complain about a few minutes delay to "me" while those Heroes were going home to their loved ones.
I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we landed, I suggested to the attendant that she announce over the speaker a request for everyone to remain in their seats until our heroes were allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane.
The cheers and applause continued until the last Marine stepped off and we all rose to go about our too often taken for granted everyday freedoms.
I felt proud of them.
I felt it an honor and a privilege to be among the first to welcome them home and say "Thank You for a job well done."
I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned. I can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this and a prayer for those who cannot because they are no longer with us.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
WELCOME HOME! AND THANKS FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!!!!
Thanks to Dianne Mellow
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You can help reach seekers with the real Truth about Jesus! With the release of "The Da Vinci Code" movie just weeks away, millions of people will soon be presented with a very distorted view of Jesus and Christianity. Amazingly, Sony Pictures is promoting this film with a marketing campaign themed "Seek the Truth."
As part of Campus Crusade for Christ's efforts to show people how they can find the only real Truth in the Jesus Christ of the Bible, Josh McDowell has completed a new book entitled The Da Vinci Code: A Quest for Answers.
To learn more about how you can help Campus Crusade mail a copy of this book to every home in the United States, as well as receive your own copy, click here.
Or visit: http://give2.ccci.org/featured/da-vinci-email
Thank you for your support of these efforts.
Gratefully Yours in Christ,
Steve Sellers
Vice President of the Americas
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Why Go To Church?
A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons.
But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."
This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:
"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this ... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.
Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"
Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!
When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to something!
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!
"When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"
Thanks to Greg McDaniel
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Little something to put things in perspective...
After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park The forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.
One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.
When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.
The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.
She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.
Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body.
The mother had remained steadfast.
She had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.
"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge."(Psalm 91:4)
Being loved this much should make a difference in your life.
Remember the One who loves you,
and then be different because of it.
Please read on . . .
To realize the value of a sister
Ask someone who doesn't have one.
To realize the value of ten years:
ask a newly divorced couple
To realize the value of four years:
Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one-second:
Ask one who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won
a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.
Thanks to David Kirkpatrick
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Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are. - 1 Co 3:16-17 (NASB95)
This is probably one of the most misused passages in the entire Bible. I venture to say that most of you have already decided that you know what these verses mean. “My body is God’s temple and I must take care of it.” Right? Wrong!
We could rush into the Greek to get a proper perspective, but let’s do it from the English (any translation will do). Who is Paul writing to? Correct: Christians. Ah, but we are not finished yet. In particular, what Christians is Paul writing to? OK. Right again. He is writing to the Christians who compose the Church at Corinth. Good. One more question: if he is writing to the church then is the “you” in these verses singular or plural? Ah ha! Right again. You certainly are a sharp group! The “you” is plural (you all for you southerners). This is verified by a look at the Greek. The word “you” is indeed plural. So Paul is saying, “Do you all not know that you all are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you all?” See what I mean? Paul is not talking about my physical body. He is talking about the Body of Christ in Corinth.
Another question: why is Paul writing this to them? Remember the context of the chapter. Right again! He is writing to correct the divisions that plague the Corinthian church. Paul started this discussion in chapter one and paused his discussion in chapter two to talk about the superiority of God’s wisdom – the foundational teaching of 1 Corinthians. He has picked up his argument about sectarianism again in this chapter.
Now, another question (I’m just full of them, aren’t I – but you are so good at answering them). What is Paul telling the Corinthian church about the part of the Body of Christ that dwells in Corinth? Let’s recap; the right answer will follow easily. The “you” is plural referring to the church body not the personal body. The context of the passage is fighting divisions. The Spirit of God dwells in the Body of Christ in Corinth. The Spirit of God is the mind of God given by Jesus so that the church may have God’s presence after Jesus ascended into heaven. Are you with me so far? Now for the touchy part, any man who tries to destroy the Body of Christ, that’s our spiritual fellowship, will be destroyed by God.
Whoa! That is pretty strong language. But, alas, that is exactly what Paul says, but what does he MEAN? From what we know of the Corinthian church, there were those in the body who were trying to pull it apart by saying that those baptized by one preacher were more “saved” or “better Christians” than those baptized by another. Paul wants the leaders of these sectarian groups to understand the seriousness of what they are doing. Should they succeed in dividing the Corinthian church asunder, they will likewise be destroyed, not by satan (for they are doing his work) but by God! Kinda takes your breath away, doesn’t it?
Why is this such a serious offence to God? Because the Sprit of God dwells in the local church, that church is holy, sanctified, set aside for God’s service. Now Paul brings it all home: “and that is what you are.” Paul wants the Corinthians to know that they, as a whole, are holy! They are God’s children, part of His great family! They are special in His sight.
It doesn’t take much of a leap to understand that your local congregation is in the same position as the Corinthian church. Paul is writing to us every bit as much as he was writing to the Corinthians. Woe be to the guy, or gal, who sets out to divide and destroy the Body of Christ in … your town. Selah. Pause and think about that.
-=+=-
According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it. For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. If any man’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. - 1 Co 3:10-15 (NASB95)
I’m going to be honest and up front with you. There is a lot in these verses that I just don’t understand. I don’t know what “fire” is. I don’t know what “suffer loss” means. And I don’t know what Paul means by “reward”. I suppose if a man studied long enough and hard enough he might be able to draw some conclusion … but they will not come from this particular text nor its context.
With this in mind, I do believe we can draw some conclusions as to what Paul was saying to the Corinthians. First, remember that he is talking about unity and sectarianism. This is evident from his reference to himself as a builder who is laying a foundation … and others follow behind and build upon what he built. He also mentions that the foundation is Jesus Christ … that leaves little room for dissention.
Second, we know that Paul is writing to believers. The audience is not seekers (those who are interested in Jesus, but have not yet decided to commit to Him). It is not heathens (though some are acting like heathens). The Corinthians are believers. They have placed their faith in Jesus Christ and have committed to Him as their Lord. This is important because only believers can build upon the foundation which is Jesus Christ and His teachings.
Third, Paul assumes that everyone can build upon that foundation and that each person builds with the materials available to him. Some, according to Paul, build with gold, silver, and precious stones. Others build with wood, hay and straw. Paul is speaking figuratively here. If he were not, most of us would be eliminated from ministry because we cannot afford gold, silver, and precious jewels. So then, what are these building materials?
Allow me to state a pre-understanding here. Christians should be serving God, not because they HAVE to, but because they WANT to. There is a difference. Serving God because we have to gives us the impression that we can earn our way into God’s graces. We can’t. If we could, there would have been no need for Jesus to die on the cross. Instead, we serve God because we want to please Him. We are His children … nothing will change that fact. We do not deserve salvation … but He chose us to be adopted into His family. We return His graciousness, His love, by doing things to please Him.
With this fact in mind, we can begin to see that what we do to please God is the material we use to build upon the Foundation. In this way we all have the ability to build with gold, silver, and precious jewels. The widow’s mite (two cents) was “gold”. The pittance of a portion of the Pharisee’s wealth with all of his pomp and circumstance was hay and straw! One gave all. The other gave a portion. One invested her life in the offering. The other invested in a transient “show”. One’s reward was eternal. The other’s was received immediately and had to be renewed each day or week. It was all in the attitude.
We, as American Christians, need to watch our attitudes. Why are we doing what we do for Jesus? Is it for recognition by men? Our construction will not stand the fires of judgment. Is it because we love the Father with such fierceness that we desire to serve Him with all of our hearts … no matter what anyone else sees or says or does? We are building with materials that will stand the tests … and will be further refined by the judgment fires. It’s all in our attitudes!
-=+=-
What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building. - 1 Co 3:5-9 (NASB95)
Can anyone tell me, without looking, who the architect was who designed the Empire State Building? No? Who was the primary contractor? Few people know the answer to these questions … but almost everyone knows what the Empire State Building is and where it is located … and what ape climbed it with a lovely blond in hand! In this case, the building is everything. The architect and the general contractor are insignificant details.
So it is, according to Paul, with Apollos and himself. Paul was the work hand who planted some seed in fertile soil. Apollos came behind and irrigated the fields so that the seed would sprout and produce fruit. The real question is this: where did the life come from? Did it come from the planter? Did it come from the irrigator? Paul tells us that the life was impregnated in the soul by the Spirit of God. The genetic makeup of a seed determines the nature of the growth … and that has nothing to do with the planter or the one who waters. Paul and Apollos were simply workmen doing the will of the Creator.
He continues to say that both were needed for the seeds of salvation to develop into mature plants, but neither is worthy of greater … or any … glory and praise. That all belongs to the Father. It is not that Paul and Apollos labored for naught. Their rewards were yet to come … and the Master would decide what those rewards should be. Until that time, Paul tells us that he and Apollos are simply workers in God’s field, carpenters working on God’s building. Neither is worthy of any praise. Neither desires a disciple group of his own.
Herein lies the danger to modern Christians, whether we are pastors, Sunday school teachers, small group leaders, or anything else. We all tend to seek approval and a following. Get a bunch of preachers together and you will hear questions similar to this: “How many are you running?” While attendance may be a legitimate standard for measuring church growth (and that is debatable), the subtle thought behind the question is this: “Huh, is that all you can muster? I’m doing better than you are.” These same preachers often stretch the truth to make themselves look better: “Oh, our membership totals 1000.” What he is really saying is this: “I don’t have 1000 attending on any given Sunday. As a matter of fact, we haven’t cleaned the roles in 50 years … half those people are dead.”
Don’t laugh. We all do the same. “My Sunday school class has doubled in size in the last year!” “I had 10 kids saved last week in my youth group!” There are even those super spiritual ones who might put it this way: “The Lord has blessed us with double digit growth the past 6 years.” The very fact that the speaker mentions such growth equals the others … and all are putting the “I” factor first!
Paul is shouting: “Cut it out! I am not the important one here. The LORD is the important one. Let’s just cut the crap and mature in Christ and let the Spirit do the math!”
-=+=-
And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men? For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not mere men? - 1 Co 3:1-4 (NASB95)
Having spent some time discussing the superiority of God’s wisdom over the world’s wisdom, Paul returns to his first topic of concern: divisions amongst the believers. Paul’s demeanor has not dimmed in the intermission, but is if anything more vitriolic than ever. Over the next few sessions, you will see the sharpness of Paul’s comments. Today’s verses are simply an introduction!
The Apostle begins by insisting that the Corinthians are immature (yes, I can almost hear him say, “brats”, though he does not use the term). Remember, when Paul says “spiritual men” he is referring to those who are mature, or at least have a measure of maturity about them. Paul begins in the past tense … talking about the way he treated the Corinthians while he was last with them. At that time he found them immature and unable to comprehend spiritual matters. He had to approach them in simple terms, presenting the Gospel in a way that even the most childish believer could understand.
I think most of us have some knowledge of infants. I remember when our children were first born. Melanie lovingly fed them milk from her own body. This food was, in essence, food that she had digested and reformatted in such a formulation that our daughters could grow strong. After several months, we began to introduce them to puréed foods. You know the stuff: “spinach soufflé” and “glazed carrots” and eventually “baked chicken” and “beef supreme”. All these were lofty names for that nasty stuff that we wouldn’t eat, but willingly gave to our kids. It was almost pre-digested, but not quite. Chewing was certainly not necessary! It wasn’t until much later that we would snip of a bit of our solid food and let them experiment with chewing.
Paul says he gave them “the milk” of the Gospel. They were not ready for solid foods … or even puréed veggies of the Word. The sad part is still to come: “Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly.” Paul converts to the present tense … things that are happening in the here and now. The Corinthians are still too immature to eat solid spiritual food. They are not able to digest the weightier matters of the Spirit. How does he know this? The jealousy and strife among them speaks of their childish behavior! “I am of Paul.” “I am of Apollos.” “I am of Peter.” “I am of Christ.” Do you kind of get the picture of a bunch of kids fighting over some toy? “It’s mine!” “No, it’s mine! Mommy said I could have it!” Intervention is necessary, and soon!
I was talking with a friend of mine about a method of Bible study that I am learning. I commented that it would be interesting to get about ten pastors of different denominational backgrounds together to study the scriptures together using this method. I wonder if men who believe the Bible is God’s inspired Word could set aside pre-conceived ideas and let God’s Word speak in purity and simplicity. What would happen if they DID listen to the word of Paul, or Peter, or John, or Jesus and let the Word interpret itself … without interference from our own devised wisdom? Could the church be changed for the better? Would our theologies change? For that matter, what would happen if we, as common everyday believers, were to take the same challenge? Would it change us? Our homes? Our churches? Our communities? Oh, if we were mature enough to handle the meat of the Word!
-=+=-
Harley
c. 2006 Harley E. Hudson
If you received Verse of the Day as a forward and you wish to have your own subscription, simply send an e-mail to hhudson719@sbcglobal.net and request a free subscription.
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 44 --- 16 March 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Sudoku / PBJ Time
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, where we haven't had an incident of a swagman stealing a jumpbuck and hiding it in his tucker bag for at least three weeks.
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Newsweek Sudoku
---------------
Sudoku is the abbreviation of the Japanese phrase "suuji wa dokushin ni kagiru" which, depending on translation, means either
"The digits must remain single"
or
"In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the Forty- seven Ronin, and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori!"
Homer Simpson quotes aside, Sudoku is a wildly popular and challenging logic puzzle You've probably seen it in your local newspaper. In Sudoku,
you are given a 9x9 grid. Some of the grid squares already contain numbers -- you cannot change these. To work the puzzle, fill in the empty squares of the grid with the numerals 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9.
The puzzle is solved when each ROW, each COLUMN, and each 3x3 square within the puzzle contain the numerals 1 through 9 with each numeral appearing once. The 3x3 squares are differentiated by shading. [Source: Newsweek Sudoku Help]
You already knew that, didn't you? Well, what you may not know is that our friends at Newsweek magazine, with the help of uclick, have a free web page that lets you play Sudoku online:
http://www.uclick.com/client/nwk/nwdoc/
Three Sudoku puzzles are available every day. (1) The normal 9x9 puzzle we all know and love; (2) A smaller 6x6 mini puzzle. This is a great place to start if you've never played Sudoku before; (3) A massive 16x16 puzzle that uses both numbers and letters. This is not for the faint of heart.
Newsweek's Sudoku puzzles also offer both a cheat and a bug. The cheat is that if you click in an empty square and then press the spacebar on your keyboard, Newsweek will automatically show you the entries which are possible for each square. This makes the puzzles MUCH easier, although the "hints" in the mega puzzles are so small they're almost illegible.
As for the bug, the first time you complete a row, column, or square, the game will display an "About the Lights" pop-up box. At the bottom of the box are the words "Don't show this message the next time I play this game" but [at least on my computer] there is no checkbox. Well, there is a check box, it's just invisible. Move your pointer to the left of the "Don't show this..." sentence and, if you're lucky, your pointer will change into a finger. Click your mouse, and then close the pop-up window. Problem solved.
If you are addicted to Sudoku, or if you have never played it and want to see what everyone is talking about, hop on over to Newsweek's free Sudoku page and watch the hours slowly disappear from your life. :)
----------------------
Info for Web Designers
----------------------
[Warning: This next part is kind of advanced stuff. Please accept my apologies in advance.]
If you create web pages that display active content such as embedded QuickTime movies, RealPlayer movies, Java Applets, or Flash, Shockwave, or Authorware players, check out
http://www.macromedia.com/devnet/activecontent/
In their February 26-ish Windows/Microsoft Update, our friends in Redmond fundamentally changed the way Internet Explorer handles embedded, active content. From here forward, "Active content that is embedded in HTML pages in certain ways will not be able to receive user input (for example, keyboard or mouse events) until the user clicks to either activate or continue loading the control." You can find a short Breeze presentation on this topic, and a possible fix [a js "design around" solution], at
http://adobe.breezecentral.com/activecontent022606/
-------------------------------------
Meme Review: Peanut Butter Jelly Time
-------------------------------------
I want to spend some time over the next couple of months re-introducing you to different internet phenomena, the stuff that was once really, really popular and then quickly fell out of favor. Think of this as an internet pop culture history tour. Today's stop is at
http://home.comcast.net/~etrata/flash/banana.swf
This is what happens when you throw together an old Buckwheat Boys song, a copy of Macromedia Flash, and way too much free time.
Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPIC: Unforgotten / PopoZao
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, a Polish mathematician who, in 1932, solved the Enigma machine.
--------------------
Unseen. Unforgotten.
--------------------
In November 2004, while searching through an equipment closet at the Birmingham News, Alexander Cohn discovered a cardboard box labled "Keep. Do Not Sell." The box contained the negatives of some 5,000 photographs taken between 1950 and 1965, including 2,000 photographs that were never published in The News.
Why is this important? Well, most of the pictures were of the United States Civil Rights Movement.
On Sunday, February 26, the Birmingham News published 32 of these photographs in a special, eight page section titled "Unseen. Unforgotten." You can find an Adobe Acrobat version of that section online at
http://www.al.com/unseen/unseen.pdf
The Birmingham News also created a companion web site at
http://www.al.com/unseen/
that contains additional, unpublished photographs and audio interviews about the Civil Rights Movement. [You make be asked to key in your zip code and age in order to see these. If you are outside of the United States, just use the University of Alabama's zip code: 35487.]
As the newspaper of record for central Alabama, the photographers of the Birmingham News were front-and-center to witness and record most of the Civil Rights Movement from the Freedom Riders to the integration of the University of Alabama [my alma mater] to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to civil disobedience to Bull Connor ... and the list goes on. The 2,000 negatives are a time capsule that give us a glimpse into a turbulent and oftentimes shameful period of American history.
-----------------------------
The Rise and Fall of Jim Crow
-----------------------------
In 2002, Public Broadcasting aired a four-part, Peabody award-winning documentary that looked at American race relations in the 100 years between the Civil War and the Civil Rights Movement. While the documentary is not available online [which is a shame], the series' companion web site is still available at
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/jimcrow/
Jim Crow is a term describing the American racist culture against blacks [and] it originated as a derogatory way of depicting black people in the minstrel shows of early 19th century America. Thomas Dartmouth "Daddy" Rice popularized the term by marking his face with burned cork or a charcoal paste (known as black face), dressing in sloppy clothes, and dancing a silly jig while grinning broadly ... By the 1890s, the term had come to mean the separation of blacks from whites and the general customs and laws that subordinated blacks as an inferior people.
[Source: http://www.jimcrowhistory.org/ ]
PBS's "The Rise and Fall of Jim Crow" website offers:
- An historical timeline of Jim Crow from 1863 to 1954.
- Audio and video narratives, photographs, and rare documents.
- Interactive maps.
- Tools and activites that show you some of the obstacles
inherent in Jim Crow.
- And much more.
If you are interested in learning more about the "why" behind the pictures in the Birmingham News' "Unseen. Unforgiven" collection, you really should visit
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/jimcrow/
------------------------------------
Meme Review: Peanut Butter Federline
------------------------------------
On a much less serious topic, last week we visited
http://home.comcast.net/~etrata/flash/banana.swf
Remember that. We're going to come back to that in a moment. Well, Britney Spears husband Kevin Federline recently released a dance single titled "PopoZao." You can see a video of Federline in the studio jamming to a playback of PopoZao at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRGoo_k03Tw
Critics were unimpressed with the song, and some enterprising pranksters took it upon themselves to remix Federline's "masterpiece". I don't know about you, but I think the new version is significantly more danceable. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cAYK9GYHY
+----------------------------------------+
Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Volume 11, Number 45 --- 21 March 2006
Tourbus Home - http://www.TOURBUS.com
Best of Tourbus -- http://tourbus.com/best.html
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TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: Tourbus is Dead / Reformat
Time for an important announcement... Tourbus is dead. Long live InternetTourbus! What do I mean? Sigh... it's all Google's fault. You can read all about that in today's issue. Also, a tutorial on (maybe) reformatting your hard drive, and the Top Twenty revisited.
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The New InternetTourbus (dot com)
-----------------------------------
Last summer, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, Google decided to drop TOURBUS.COM from their index. As a result, TOURBUS ceased to exist in the eyes of Google. After enjoying a pagerank of 7 or 8 for many years, with hundreds of indexed pages and thousands of inbound links, TOURBUS.COM simply vanished from Google. If you do a search for "info:tourbus.com" Google will reply:
> Sorry, no information is available for the URL tourbus.com
No amount of entreaty would elicit a reason or remedy from Google, so we were stuck. Since Google is the only search engine that really matters (in terms of bringing searchers to a site), traffic to TOURBUS.COM had trailed off to a small fraction of what it once was. The best solution was to start from scratch with a new domain name. So from now on, the official website for TOURBUS is...
http://www.InternetTourbus.com
I've also taken the opportunity to freshen up the website with a new design and some new features. Pop in today and check out the Tourbus Screensaver, Very Strange Things, the Pop Quiz, and of course the complete Tourbus Archives from 1995 to 2006.
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Got Links?
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TOURBUS.COM will continue to work for now, but it may be discontinued at some point. So please... if you have links to TOURBUS.COM, update them to point to INTERNETTOURBUS.COM as soon as possible. If you DON'T yet have a link to Tourbus, visit the page below and pick up the link code and graphic to put on your site.
http://www.InternetTourbus.com/button.htm
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Reformat hard drive under XP?
-------------------------------
A reader asked me this question about reformatting his hard drive:
> "I have Windows XP and the system has gotten very slow and
> flaky. I would like to learn how to reformat the drive. Can
> you teach me in simple English how to completely format the
> drive and then re-install the operating system?"
It's certainly doable, but you should consider some alternatives first, because formatting a hard drive will erase *everything* on the disk. Re-installing Windows, all the patches from Microsoft, your software and personal files will take many hours to complete.
I'm guessing you're considering this move because your PC has been infested by spyware and/or viruses, and is now acting flaky. I suggest you first read my "Make Windows Run Faster!" article, and follow my recipe to clean gunk out of your computer's pipes.
http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html
...then if you REALLY still want to reformat your drive, see
http://askbobrankin.com/reformat_hard_drive_under_xp.html
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The Top Twenty
----------------
Every few months I go through the AskBobRankin logs and see which articles were the most popular. Here are the current Top Twenty, ranked by readership volume...
1) House Values
http://askbobrankin.com/house_values.html
2) Make Windows XP Run Faster!
http://askbobrankin.com/make_windows_xp_run_faster.html
3) Red X Appears Instead of Image
http://askbobrankin.com/red_x_appears.html
4) Convert Itunes to MP3 Format
http://askbobrankin.com/convert_itunes_to_mp3_format.html
5) Removing Winfixer Popups
http://askbobrankin.com/removing_winfixer_popups.html
6) Convert VHS to DVD
http://askbobrankin.com/convert_vhs_to_dvd.html
Continue reading for the rest of the Top Twenty here:
http://askbobrankin.com/the_top_twenty.html
That's all for now, see you next time! -- Bob Rankin
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
Investing for Retirement Class at SAU - Tuesday, April 4
Dr. David Ashby, the Peoples Bank Professor of Economics at SAU, will advise people about investing for retirement. This course will cover the basics of retirement planning from calculating how much is needed, to what type of accounts to use, to where to invest the money. Participants will learn how to save income taxes while saving for retirement. The class will also look at how mutual funds can simplify the whole process.
This class will be offered from 6 to 8 p.m. on Tuesday, April 4, in Business 205.
There is no charge to participate in this course.
~~~
Albemarle Steak and Bingo Supper - April 22, 2006
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The Barksdale AFB Holiday in Dixie "Defenders Of Liberty" Big Airshow Saturday and Sunday, May 13-14, gates open at 9:00 am, Show starts at 10:00 am
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
01. Cpl. Nyle Yates III, 22, of Lake Odessa, Mich., died in Bayji, Iraq, on Mar. 16, when he came under small arms fire by enemy forces during combat operations. Yates was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Tikrit, Iraq, on Mar. 16, when a mortar round detonated. Killed were:
02. Sgt. Amanda N. Pinson, 21, of St. Louis, Mo.
03. Spc. Carlos M. Gonzalez, 22, of Middletown, N.Y.
Pinson and Gonzalez were assigned to the 101st Military Intelligence Detachment, 501st Special Troops Battalion, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, on March 18, when they came under small arms fire by enemy forces during combat operations. Both solidiers were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, Fort Lewis, Wash. Killed were:
04. Staff Sgt. Ricardo Barraza, 24, of Shafter, Calif.
05. Sgt. Dale G. Brehm, 23, of Turlock, Calif.
06. Pfc. Amy A. Duerksen, 19, of Aberdeen Proving Ground, Md., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on March 11, from a non-combat related injury. Duerksen was assigned to the 4th Combat Support Battalion, 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas
07. Spc. Antoine J. McKinzie, 25, of Indianapolis, Ind., died in Baghdad, Iraq, on March 21, when his HMMWV came under enemy small arms fire during combat operations. McKinzie was assigned to the 4th Battalion, 27th Field Artillery Regiment, 1st Armored Division, Baumholder, Germany.
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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It’s never too early to start making my Anniversary Present list. (Well, I did get a new medicine bag for my birthday.)
Rechargeable Batteries for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (9.6 volts, 600 mAh battery, 2 each (for our two radios)), Yaesu FT-50 (it takes a FNB-83 7.2V1400mAh battery), Yaesu, VX-1 (it takes a FNB-52LI 3.6V 700mAh Lithium-Ion battery).
New “Rubber Ducky” antennas for the following “Ham” radios: Kenwood TH-22-AT (two radios)
Anything from Larry Norman
Back Scratcher
Basic tools of any kind
Batteries, 9 volt
Batteries, AAA
Blankets or Quilts
Book, “The Good Life: Seeking Purpose, Meaning, and Truth in Your Life” by Charles Colson
“Boot” Horn
Chair, office $49 from SAMS (5 of them)
Cheese Grater
Cordless Drill
Cordless Screwdriver
A DeLorme Earthmate GPS LT-20 device
A copy of DeLorme Street Atlas USA 2006 Plus
A copy of DeLorme Topo USA 5.0
Digital Video Recorder (Pioneer DVR-533H-S $333 at Beach Camera)
Eyeglasses, “Computer type” to use at church (and some new ones to use at home and at work.)
Floor Mats (for the truck)
A new “Gitter”
Handkerchiefs
Hasselblad H2D-39 Digital Professional Camera
Hat (warm, for bald guys winter wear.)
Magnifying Glass.
New Showerhead
Non skid toilet rug
Refrigerator Thermometer
Small, lightweight “head light” so I can see small things on the desk or work bench.
Some Warmup Suits to wear around the house after we get that first gas bill.
Trackball for the home computer
VHS - DVD Recorder (Lite-On LVC-9006 $219 @ Buy.com)
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Scheduled Activities
~~~
Alcoholics Anonymous meets at 8 p.m. Monday - Friday. At noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and at 7 p.m. Sunday at 914 N. Vine
~~~
Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
~~~
Columbia County Diabetes Support Group - Every third Monday, 7:00 p.m. room 222, Magnolia Hospital
~~~
"Focus on the Family" with Dr. James Dobson weekday afternoons at 1 PM on KVMA am 630 it's a great show!
~~~
MCC - Abraham Prayer - Sunday at 5:00 p.m and Wednesday from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm
~~~
MCC - "Beth Moore" Video Class - Thursday nights at 5:45 pm
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets at 1051 Columbia 36 the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Firm Foundations Class, Sunday 9:30 to 10:15 a.m
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MCC - Meadow Brook Nursing Home Ministry Tuesday from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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MCC - Over comers: Fridays @ 7:00 p.m- Director, Traci Foster invites you to a 12 step Christian support program. For anyone with a life controlling problem. Child care is provided.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Narcotics Anonymous 5-6 pm every Monday at 220 Pine street.
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TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) 5 pm every Tuesday in the Magnolia Hospital break room.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Isa 63:8-9 Hag 1:5-7 Exo 32:21-24 Psa 7:17 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
P. S. If you'd like to be added to the distribution, just drop us E-mail at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com. We offer "Da Bleat" as text, a "Blog" and as a newsletter with pictures in Word and PDF format. For the "Blog" version just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com/ to see the latest issue.
Let us hear from you if we can switch you over to the "Word" or "PDF" version of "Da Bleat".
If you'd prefer to read "Da Blog" version, just drop us a note at KC5HII@Magnolia-Net.Com and we'll switch you from e:mail delivery to "Da Bleat" Blog. Of course "Da Bleat" is now on the web. Just go to http://bugsbleat1q.blogspot.com to see the latest issue (usually updated sometime Friday evening or Saturday morning. We appreciate your encouragement. We also appreciate your communication when you desire to be taken off our mail list. If you are on this mail list by mistake or do not wish to receive "Da Bleat," please reply back and tell us to discontinue service to you. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus 2005 before it was sent. ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
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erry discovers "The Butterfly" 
erry discovers "The Butterfly" 
